Psychotic: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you back to our television programme, ART TALK III. With me today are Rantzien, who graduated from Oxford with honours, and Cz, who graduated from Hungary. For those of you who are unaware, we usually reside in post #399 of Ciddies threads:
Episode I and
Attack of the Clones.
Psychotic: Let's start our engines with this piece from everyone's favourite dark sphere, black orb!
http://forums.eyesonff.com/attachmen...ifulpirate.jpg
Rantzien: That is one very beautiful pirate.
Cz: And three less attractive ones.
Psychotic: I don't know, I can see beauty in the chap on the left.
Psychotic: Look at his matching lilac do-rag and tanktop ensemble.
Cz: That's who I was talking about.
Cz: Who did you mean, Pontus?
Rantzien: I fell in love with the drooling swashbuckler.
Psychotic: He, too, likes to match head accessories with shirts. But I don't know, it just doesn't have the same impact.
Rantzien: But look how lovesick he is!
Psychotic: He has a kind of "Yeah, whateva!" look on his face. The lilac guy has the look of a startled fawn.
Cz: And the frame of a mighty ox!
Cz: So strong, and yet so sensitive...truly, black orb has captured a complex figure.
Rantzien: Did anyone else notice the ghost-like villain in the background? Should these warriors not be focusing on disposing of it, rather than expressing affection for one another?
Psychotic: I think that's just a flag.
Psychotic: I mean, I guess they can fight it if they really want to, I just can't see what it would achieve.
Rantzien: It's a very villainous flag.
Cz: The threat of the flag isn't important. It's what the flag represents.
Cz: Its very presence could boost the morale of any nefarious being that sees it.
Cz: And that would place our pirates in grave peril.
Rantzien: Yes! That's what I meant. That's what I meant...
Psychotic: Second to run our critical gauntlet is Nominus Experse, and here is a little something something he whipped up!
http://forums.eyesonff.com/picture.p...pictureid=1070
Psychotic: Ah, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The tentacles he had for an arm really boosted his music to the next level.
Rantzien: Screw metaphors, this guy really IS one with his music!
Cz: I always wondered what things would be like if Black Metal had been invented four hundred years earlier...
Cz: OK, that's a lie. I have never wondered that.
Cz: But it would probably look like this.
Psychotic: I do wonder how this thing gets around. I mean sure, it looks very radical and gnarly and all, but it doesn't have any legs.
Psychotic: I suppose it just hops about like a pogo stick.
Rantzien: Or uses a wheelchair. That's the standard method of movement for legless people these days.
Psychotic: What about legless half-people half-string instruments?
Rantzien: I've never asked one of them, to be frank.
Rantzien: I think they seem unapproachable. Don't judge me for that!
Cz: He doesn't seem like the sort of guy who would happily lend you money. Or even angrily lend you money.
Rantzien: I wonder where he even keeps his money.
Psychotic: He seems like a rastafarian, so I imagine it's where he keeps his "herbal remedies", ha ha ha!
Cz: Ha ha ha!
Rantzien: You absolute joker!
Psychotic: I'm not sure how this is going to work, but never let it be said Three Guys and Art never pushes the boundries, for now we have a video from Omecle!
YouTube - Tolako Village
Rantzien: It's loading.
Psychotic: That's a good place to start.
Cz: Moving pictures!
Cz: Guys, I think Omecle has just taken it to The Next Level.
Rantzien: I'd certainly like to live in one of these egg-like structures.
Psychotic: Heavens to betsy, who wouldn't!
Psychotic: Although I am pretty sure Omecle ripped this straight from Crash Bandicoot.
Psychotic: You even see the ULAMAGA! mask at one point!
Rantzien: Well, you know what they say: the bad artist imitates, the great artist steals!
Cz: That's right. There's no harm in borrowing from one of our generation's masterworks.
Psychotic: I am rather vexed at his music choice. At about 1:23 there is rushing water and now I need to spend a penny and we have three artists left to do!
Did Omecle not think of the reprecussions of his actions?!
Cz: Do you not think that was his intent? It is one thing for an artist to move the mind, another to move the bowels.
Rantzien: That's modern art for you!
Psychotic: Never mind Barack Obama, here's Pete for President and here's his work:
http://forums.eyesonff.com/attachmen...lcompleet3.jpg
Cz: Oh holy
Psychotic: Now, look, I'm not going to make any claims to be an expert at fighting giant owls that have descended from the heavens to unleash their wrath upon this Earth
Psychotic: But I think an umbrella is a poor weapon choice
Rantzien: Quite right, old fellow, quite right.
Rantzien: Am I the only one who thinks of the owl in Ocarina of Time when I see this?
Cz: Not any more!
Rantzien: God, that was a jerk owl if I ever saw one.
Psychotic: I can't really think of anything other than sheer gut-wrenching terror when I see this owl.
Cz: Those two people don't seem particularly afraid, though. Perhaps they know something we don't?
Psychotic: They both seem to have just one arm. Maybe they believe the owl will restore their lost limbs.
Rantzien: Perhaps they worship an ancient owl God.
Psychotic: I like how you say "an" ancient owl God, which implies that there are rather a lot of the buggers running, well, flying, about.
Rantzien: Don't underestimate the Egyptians' surplus of animal gods!
Psychotic: Ireland's last hope of winning a Ciddie, Rocket Edge, takes centre stage now, with this prehistoric nightmare!
http://forums.eyesonff.com/attachmen...erica-951-.jpg
Rantzien: A familiar scene to us all.
Psychotic: Well, replace that wolf with my weakling rag-tag group of adventurers, and yes!
Cz: Replace the image of adrenaline-fuelled pursuit with that of a garden tea party, and yes!
Rantzien: The poor old creature's right foot seems to have been petrified.
Cz: Which will surely lead to disaster, as he won't be able to escape the tornado looming in the background.
Psychotic: Evidently he blames the wolf for his predicament, which is a highly illogical thing to do.
Psychotic: Mind you, as wolves evolved long after the dinosaurs died out, I suppose he is not faimiliar with them, and I can forgive him and his silliness.
Cz: He's probably more infuriated by the anachronism than anything else.
Cz: Sticklers for detail, those tyrannosaurs.
Psychotic: Gentlemen, do you think that the three of us, our powers united, could successfully engage and defeat this Wild Saurian?
Rantzien: We would have to be sword-wielding orphans for that to work, I'm pretty sure.
Cz: When you say "our powers" I assume you are referring to my AS Level in Geography?
Psychotic: The very same.
Psychotic: What a pity it wasn't Geology, given his condition.
Psychotic: To end our little showcase of art, we've got to pay a visit to scrumpleberry town! Here's her picture
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k2...y/f8c47e70.jpg
Cz: A fine-looking dame, and no mistake!
Rantzien: This is a most graceful piece of art. I have nothing but praise for it.
Rantzien: Except--there is a hole in her pants!
Psychotic: How unladylike!
Cz: Now now, this is the twenty-first century. Who are we to say that a lady should not expose herself if she so chooses?
Cz: I applaud that artist's daring in challenging our conceptions of decency.
Psychotic: I also applaud the artist because of their creation of such a fine hat.
Psychotic: I would wear a hat like that to the Prime Minister's wedding, if I was invited.
Rantzien: It reminds me of my very own heritage!
Rantzien: A blonde, tall and slim girl with a viking hat; could she be anything other than a countrylass of mine?
Psychotic: I don't see her eating any polar bears or wrestling any trolls.
Cz: She's also dressed in Finnish colours, I hope you'll notice.
Rantzien: The bear-eating is implied, by the satisfied look on her face, to have recently happened.
Rantzien: You have to read between the lines if you want to call yourself art critics!
Psychotic: Alright, Mister Fancy Pants Art Dance, why is she standing on tip-toes?
Rantzien: She is, in fact, so light in weight that she's nigh on levitating!
Psychotic: Well that's where you're wrong. She just doesn't want to get the soles of her feet dirty.
Psychotic: Although wearing shoes would probably be easier, but Finns, or possibly Swedes, never take the easy way out!
Cz: I would like to know what she is doing with her right hand.
Cz: From the look on her face, she is clearly up to some sort of trickery.
Rantzien: An interesting query indeed!
Psychotic: Well I think it's quite obvious that she's inserting it deep inside of her own AND THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR TODAY, FOLKS!
Rantzien: Pocket, most likely.
Psychotic: Whew! We came through the difficult third album with nary a scratch! I guess we'll pass this shebang back over to Award Guy or Girl or Levian or whoever the heck it is that's holding the reigns.
Cz: I hope it's Levian. The thought of him holding my reigns makes me swoon.
Originally Posted by Blue Harvest
Shouldn't you be telling Baloki to stop instead of me?
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