When I was in the womb, I had such a low heart rate that they thought I was going to die. Then, when I was born, I had lactose intolerance but my fool doctor didn't know what was wrong with me, so instead of doing everything they could to figure out why my stomach was nearly collapsed, they wrote "failure to thrive" on my chart. My mom figured out on her own that it was lactose intolerance.

Fun fact: that very doctor is my friend Michelle's family doctor.