Cunning Linguist

[Pike]

I speak some odd American Midwestern language where "crayon" is pronounced "cran", milk is "melk" and double t's in words are disregarded in pronunciation.

Wait, that's not how crayon is supposed to be pronounced?

Also, the double tt thing (if you are referring to "kitten", "mitten", etc.) is common throughout the language. It has a special name; I learned it in a linguistics class. I feel smart.

Nope. Some snobby West Coaster told me it's supposed to be "cuh-ray-on." Like how some people pronounce "Koran." Because smurf "cran."

And I've never heard anyone but Midwesterners not pronounce the double t, so I figured that was just our thing. And what would that word be, Mr Smartypartypants?

Well I'm a snobby west-coaster and I call it "cran" like everyone else I know here, so tell this other snobby west-coaster person that he or she is sadly misinformed!

Also that's Ms. Smartypartypants to you! Until I become a robot at least!

And yes, MILF is correct~ although funnily enough I don't believe "glottal stop" is typically pronounced with a glottal stop.