Finally, girls can play video games

[Raistlin]

Now I know there are (allegedly) some female posters on this video game message board. I know you pretend to like video games with guns and magic and puzzles, but you don't have to pretend anymore. There's a new computer game just for you, and it's all about being a good little girl in the real world!

It's so realistic! These are the sort of things you have to accomplish in this game:

-dye your hair
-go shopping at the mall
-cook
-get a boyfriend who will give you money (because women working? lol)
-maintain your weight in an "ideal range"

And you "level up" by completing such arduous challenges as buying stuff, changing your clothes, and flirting.

I might have to check it out. I've always wondered what it's like to be a girl. I'm sure this game will be very informative.

[Mirage]

Is it just me, or is kotaku completely unreadable?
-edit-
I can read it now, and I am totally downloading this game.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

It's things like this that really make a good Friday into a great Friday. I love it.

[Del Murder]

There needs to be a male version where you gain levels by:

-working out
-masturbating
-channel surfing until you find a sporting event (if you end up on golf and manage to keep your character awake for the first hour then you get bonus exp)
-playing video games (you have to push the right buttons to make sure he pushes the right buttons, it's ingenious!)
-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
-going to bars
-picking up girls at bars (text selector for your pickup lines)
-getting girlfriends (experience points increase exponentially the more girlfriends you have at once)
-'going all the way' with your girlfriends and then ignoring them as much as possible afterwards
-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

[Pike]

FINALLY, something to play inbetween Alpha Centauri, Civilization IV, X-Com UFO Defense, Europa Universalis 3 and Hearts of Iron II!

THANKS LADY POPULAR!

[Madame Adequate]

Oh god take cover the combined rage of Miriel, foa, rubah, and Shlup is going to take out half of the continental United States.

e:

-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)

Jesus Christ if you make that a condition then Steve's character would grow so strong he would gain real-world powers from it. (SPOILER)he still wouldn't get laid though

-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

To be fair this is actually a pretty core conceit of being a man and I would be more offended by a game that omitted it.

[Laddy]

This sounds awful. *downloads*

[NorthernChaosGod]

There needs to be a male version where you gain levels by:

-working out
-masturbating
-channel surfing until you find a sporting event (if you end up on golf and manage to keep your character awake for the first hour then you get bonus exp)
-playing video games (you have to push the right buttons to make sure he pushes the right buttons, it's ingenious!)
-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
-going to bars
-picking up girls at bars (text selector for your pickup lines)
-getting girlfriends (experience points increase exponentially the more girlfriends you have at once)
-'going all the way' with your girlfriends and then ignoring them as much as possible afterwards
-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

I would play the trout out of that game.

[Del Murder]

Ironically, playing with tits is one of the major quests of the game.

[NorthernChaosGod]

I'll take ten!

[Shiny]

As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.

[Jessweeee♪]

[Madame Adequate]

I ranted at length about it.

[NeoCracker]

As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.

...But some girls are adorable with pigtails.

[Pike]

As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.

...But some girls are adorable with pigtails.

Like Chiyo-chan.

But even Chiyo-chan is mad at this game.