Tell me more about this woman Arthur. What country was she from? You have painted a picture of a colourful accent.

I can top any of you.

One time when I was like 12 or something and walking about the town centre after school with my mates, one of the shops there used to have a "2 schoolkids at a time" policy so I was waiting outside on my own. A man in his 40's or 50's came up to me and asked me if I had the time. He asked me if I liked dogs. "No", said I. He then said he had something very important in his car he needed me to see and asked me if I would come with him. I said "No. I am waiting for my friends" or something like it, and he just slunk away.

At the time I thought nothing of it, but looking back on it I am pretty sure he wanted to bumrape me. That or his car was actually the one from Back to the Future and we would've had wacky 50's adventures together.