Terrible FF jokes

[Pike]

In this thread we invent terrible, groan-worthy Final Fantasy jokes and puns.

I'll start: What do you call the moogle police? The ku-popo.

[Hollycat]

Mine's more of a picture

forgive the first word.

Ok, ima try to make a ff joke.

um.....

One Cloudy day I was Barreting down the road in my brand new cait when I saw a tea shop. I went inside only to be sephirothed from my wife as Vin cent between us. the waitress came up and I ordered by drink and she said no Tifa you.
We left the shop Zacktly at red XIII and went home.
Yuffiemism.

[Alpha2099]

I made a meme, but I'm having issues uploading it, so here's the link:

laughing republicans - well give ffxii all the mmo elements of ffxi and make

[Sephex]

Friend took a pic of a low cloud in Chicago and posted it on Facebook. I then did this to it:



Anyway, let's see if I can make a bad FF pun....uh, here's another picture.

[Del Murder]

If you ever get your arm shot off, you just have to grin and Barret.

[Jiro]

Attachment 36127

[Gamblet]

This guy are sick.

[Rantz]

Buster Sword? I hardly kn- Wait, I thought Sylvie was a girl! D:

[Del Murder]

Gran Pulse weather report:

The Snow storm continues today with plenty of Lightning, but don't worry, there's Hope on the horizon. Tommorrow looks to be a much more Vanille-a day with much-needed sunshine. Just don't get too full of piz-Sazh and wander outside as there are many beasts around and you don't want to be caught in their Fangs.

[ReloadPsi]

That is fantastic.

If you ever get your arm shot off, you just have to grin and Barret.

That is even better.

[Jiro]

So I found this image last night and shared it with Sephex, which started us onto posting funny FF pictures with each other. Eventually I stumbled upon something hilariously random and weird and so I combined it into an inception meme for your viewing pleasure. Really, it's too good to keep to myself.

(SPOILER)
Attachment 36197

[chionos]

Barret: "Welcome to my bar, suckas. Whatcha havin?"
Edgar: "Celes wants a beer."
Barret: "I ain't givin' no girl a beer."
Cloud: "You heard the man. Steiner."
Barret: "I don't know what you're Sabin."
Celes: "Nevermind, I'll just have a Mog of ale."
Barret: "Ale? Kuja ask for somethin' I got?"
Sephiroth: "Why can't you Celes what we're asking for?"
Barret: "What the hell are you doing in my bar!? I'll chocobo itch!"
Sephiroth: "Choke this, fat boy."
Barret: "I Vaan you to get the hell out of my bar."
Sephiroth: "Right after I Ramza glass down your throat."
Cloud: "Hold on a minute. Didn't I kill you? Who are you really?"
Sephka: "Uwee-hee-hee! I'm back, bitches! Now Alma destroy them all!"
Celes: "Not again! Barret, why did you Locke the door!?"
Barret: "I locked it Sahz nobody could get out."
Cloud: "You. You're not Barret. You're Zemus!"
Zemus: "Ah, you saw through my disguise. I Kain see you're surprised."
Celes: "Well yeah, you're kind of a boring End Boss. Kefka's so much cooler."
Kefka: "Yeah, son of a submariner, you're more like a Zeromus. Uwee-hee-hee."
Zemus: "I'll show you Zeromus. I'll burn this city to Ashe."
Edgar: "Ha-ha, that the best you got? C'mon it's late, let's finish this Umaro."
Zeromus: "No! Everything must die tonight!"
Kefka: "Yes! Burn everything."
Zeromus: "Shut up Kefka."
Kefka: "Wha? Yuna want my help?"
Zeromus: "No. Now Tifa, get on the floor."
Cloud: "Auron my d-"
Tifa: "Cloud!"
Edgar: "Yeah, Wakka hell, man. She's going home with me tonight."
Zeromus: "Silence! Quistis nonsense. Zell be hell to pay if you cannot be silent."
Kefka: " 'Zell be hell to pay' hee-hee, good one Zebus."
Zeromus: "It's Zeromus, curr. Now, I find myself in the predicament of Irvine to piss. Can you keep an eye on the prisoners, Kefka? Can you do that one little thing?"
Kefka: "They'll be Seifer with me than with anyone else in the world, Lord Zeromus."
Zeromus: "Good, now Cloud, can you Lenna hand and direct me to your water closet."
Cloud: "Garnet man, what's a water closet?"
Zeromus: "The facilities, a restroom, a damn water closet boy!"
Cloud: "I'm Freya can't help you, Mr. Mus. The bar doesn't have a pisser. Quina tell you what you should do?"
Zeromus: "If it's helpful, certainly, and be quick about it."
Cloud: "Okay, just lean in close here...closer...that's good enough..."
OMNISLASH
Kefka: "Uwee-hee-hee-hee-uwee-hee-hee-hee-hee."
Cloud: "Setzer weapons down Kefka. I won't say it twice."
Kefka: "Hee-hee, Gogo warp!"
*fizzle*
Cloud: "Cid down, clown. You're not going anywhere."

[Jiro]

If Lightning's going commando I'd ravager with medic.

Nicked this from elsewhere. Pretty well done imo

[Shorty]

Cid down, Jiro.

[Slothy]

If Lightning's going commando I'd ravager with medic.

Nicked this from elsewhere. Pretty well done imo

I shouldn't laugh as hard as I am at that. I have no pun because I'm not very clever right now.