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noxious.sunshine

Again? Really?

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by
noxious.sunshine
, 11-06-2013 at 08:36 PM (1093 Views)
A bunch of people know about all of this already, but.. It's still bothering me to no end.

Dude dropped this major bomb on me on Sunday talkin' about how "we" have to move to NYC after he gets out of the army.

"We" don't have to do sh**. I'm not going to NYC to -live- there. Hell to the no.

Something about he -has- to go to avoid jail time over this whole marriage arrangement he's had going on for several years.

I told him from Day 1 that once I get back to Tennessee, I'm not moving out of state again. Ever. I'm not gonna leave my child behind like that anymore and I'm definitely not gonna move another 900 miles away and then be -1700- miles away from my parents when I could lose my dad practically any day and not be able to go see them for holidays.

So he's known all of this since the dawn of time and still had the audacity to say "Oh yeah, we have to move to NYC".

And even further more, when I tried talking to him about it last night, like to try & drill into his head exactly what I said up there, and he wouldn't even acknowledge me. He just went back inside to play goddamn FF14.

I told him, "Ok so, you'd rather me move to NYC with you.. Be 900 miles away from my child - and be miserable and depressed the entire time making a break up pretty much inevitable - than figure something out?"

Still, no response. At all.

No consideration for my feelings or how I would react or even that he's screwing me over like everyone else has. I legit have nowhere to go when he leaves. I don't have a brother or sister who could or would let me crash with them. And I for sure as hell will not go back to Texas. I think I'd be dead in a month.

IDK what I'm gonna do. And he continues treating me like crap even though I haven't done anything wrong. He's the one that swore everything would be fine when I got here and I wouldn't have to worry about BS like this. IDK what I'm gonna do. This really sucks.
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Comments

  1. Shorty's Avatar
    It's been pretty apparent to me for some time that you two have what I would consider an unhealthy relationship. I'm not sure what your options are, but anything is better than staying in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship.

    I am often an advocate of healing where wounds can be healed and trying to work things out when you've put a lot of work and effort into them but if I were you, I would leave. Or let him leave, one of the two.
  2. LocoColt04's Avatar
    Yeah... she's spot on with this one, little lady.

    You can only patch up the broken vehicle so many times before it's not worth fixing any more. I don't mean to say that your relationship isn't worth fixing but the negative so frequently and supremely outweighs the positive that it's tough to say otherwise.

    Obviously you've got to do what you feel is best for yourself at any given time J, but it might be time to ask yourself if you can contemplate the rest of your life with him. If the answer is yes, give it more time, add another patch, and see about a genuine conversation. If the answer is no, it's time to buy a new car. Or drive a bike for a while.
  3. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
    I'm just so mind blown over the whole situation I can't even begin to think about what to do next.

    And it's not just the fact that he's leaving me.. He's putting my -child- through all of this too. After I allowed him to meet her and get close to her.

    IDK what's gonna happen at this point, but if we -do- break up, then that's it. I won't go through this ever again and I won't do it to my daughter.

    I know... "You'll find someone down the road".. And yeah, I might. But I really don't care or want to. I'm just done. It's time to focus on me for awhile and get back to what's most important.
  4. Shorty's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by noxious.sunshine
    It's time to focus on me for awhile and get back to what's most important.
    That is honestly the best way you can look at it. Is there a possibility you can move in with your sister? Focusing on yourself and your daughter are probably the healthiest things you can do right now. I know you mention her a lot and she seems to make you so happy.

    At a choice between a boyfriend who makes you unhappy, doesn't respect you or your decisions or the life you want stacked up against your little girl who is the light of life, the decision would be clear to me.
  5. Freya's Avatar
    Might want to start picking up extra jobs and working your butt off. Save up and move out. You don't need no man! Hell i live on my own. I started so by having multiple jobs to do so. It's hard at first but then it'll get better. I think it'd best for you to do so. Then you'll not be relying on others and you'll be close to you daughter. And your daughter will see you're trying. The only thing is it takes a lot of will power to struggle through it all.in the end though, it's better than moving to NYC with some guy who could care less.