noxious.sunshine

.... I miss you.

We're having a small service for my mom tomorrow.

My brother got here earlier and we went to hang out with my best friend for a little while.. We got stoned and bought some pain pills and whatnot..

It was good. I forgot how much I love hanging out with my big brother- especially when it's just us... We talked and laughed and all that good hsit.

But I have a lot on my shoulders regardless.. I'm the only one able to stay with my dad right now. And I have to figure out how long I need to stay here- or decide if I should just move in permanently .. And if/when I go to NYC, I'll have to talk to people to get some kind care system set up for him... So that he isn't alone for too long and whoever can make sure he's fed and has clean clothes and help with the dogs...

I don't know what to do.. I'm still not believing this is real..