Vote for Best Speech from JuraCiddies Park June 2014! - Congratulate the winners!
Hello friends!
I know we've just gone through the absolutely massive ordeal that is the Ciddies Revelations, but I am asking just one more favor of you!
If you would, take a moment to PM me your vote for your three favorite speeches from these June 2014 Ciddies. Everyone took so much time and preparation to make this event happen, and every single speech was recorded. Let's not let that effort go unnoticed!
And finally, a thank you to shion for organizing these speeches and picking up slack when there were no volunteers for many of the speeches left over. Thanks, shion - you have put so much dedication into this event, and it went wonderfully because you helped out and coordinated this part of the Ciddies.
(SPOILER)
Let’s get the Ciddies started quick and very dirty. Afterall, brevity is the soul of wit if you believe Shakespeare. Of course he put line that in the mouth of one of the most self-important windbags in literature, so he clearly knows a thing or two about humor. And about putting things in peoples’ mouths.
Incidentally another thing Shakespeare and I both like that is a common theme in porn titles is double entendre. So here are the short and sweet nominees for Most Likely to Get Together IF THEY STARRED IN A PORNO.
* Lovener Bones and Shorty Stacked are bored siblings staying at their family estate for the summer when boredom, heat and polygamist values get the better of them in Twisted Sister Wives.
* Cropped & Parker Indarear are strangers until one fateful night on when they meet quite sexily while waiting for a train in Platform 9 and ¾ Inches.
* The Man makes Kinx his private dancer in part one of The Aaron Freed double feature I Know Why the Caged Girl Screams.
* koat-her-a & The Man finish off The Aaron Freed double feature and finish off a few other things in The Closer: New Openings to Close.
* nik0tine fixxx & Spuuky yell at each other and then do stuff in the cleverly titled Humpy Young Men.
* noxious.sunshines.out.my.butt and Rantz No Pantz get cooking early and often in the Swedish fetish classic Smorgasbroad
* Mold Anus is a down on his luck cricket collector or something when SuperMillionaire makes him an unbelievable offer in exchange for a few favors in Moneyball$$.
* Psychotic & Shorty wake up one morning to find green crystals hovering above their heads and a strange urge to fall deeply in lust in world’s first Adult themed sandbox open world game that isn’t Second Life, Let’s Play (with each other.)
You people are filthy. The Bard would be so proud.
Like Batman, many people have worn the Superman emblem at an attempt to try to salvage their careers, but many have failed. Only one of these EoFFers will reign supreme and be able to wear the S with pride before they fall off the horse.
Agent Proto
Del Murder
Jiro
Lone Wolf Leonhart
Loony BoB
Quin
Rantz
The Man
The White Wizard of Fynn
Vivi22
Now, we've come to the fateful day where one of our very own EoFFers will be honored with the award of MLT be Batman. All the rest (the losers) will be compared to the likes of George Clooney's Batman.
Agent Proto
blackmage_nuke
Bones
Crop
Del Murder
fire_of_avalon
Iceglow
Lonely Paper Star
Psychotic
Rantz
Spuuky
SuperMillionaire
(SPOILER)
Batman is my favorite superhero, meaning he is the greatest hero of all time. To win this would be a great honour. So I will be comparing all of the nominees to previous Batmans.
Speech by Bubba (SPOILER)
Here at Eyes on Final Fantasy, it is not uncommon for us to lose a few members from time to time. We all have our lives to lead and our priorities will alter accordingly. Recently however, we seem to have lost contact with an alarming number of regular members. Ten have disappeared from our ranks in recent months. Luckily, I have spies all over the world. I have it on good information that these rumours regarding the following members... are true.
Aulayna
Reports have reached me that Aulayna is currently traversing the globe as part of a progressive folk rock duo known as 'Gimp and the Midget'. I have not yet received word as to which of these is our dear Aulayna. However, she is not particularly short in stature so we can probably hazard a guess.
Loony BoB
Mr. Daniel Towns has spent the last six months training for a new world record in hot dog consumption. He has locked himself in his kitchen and has now had more sausage in his mouth than Jenna Jameson. His dedication to training is matched only by his 300 pound weight gain.
Lumos
She has been selling a fake hair-growth product for men online. Using ingredients such as sun cream, petrol and squirty cheese... she has made thousands selling to desperate men. Our very own Psychotic was one of the first to fall foul of her cunning scheme.
o_O
A tricky one to track down, they are now working as a cab driver in the Western Asian country of Yemen. He spends his days telling his passengers that he once took Osama Bin Laden's Dad to the Yemen Megabowl and Arcade.
Ouch!
Our dear Ouch! has developed an unfortunate addiction to gambling. An innocent win on the horses led to a downward spiral. They ended up losing thousands betting on events as diverse as female topless darts to the Australian kangaroo relay.
Raine
This young lady has developed a new technology that enables her to communicate with canines. She claims that dogs playful nature is merely a cover and they are hatching a plot to take over the planet. She is often seen wandering the streets shouting "walkies!" at the top of her voice.
Rostum
A tragic story here. Convinced that his newly-bought Delorean could achieve time travel, he pushed it past 90mph before crashing it into Justin Bieber's house. Luckily, Bieber was home at the time.
smittenkitten
Disgusted by Loony BoB's increased weight gain, she has defected to China to pursue her lifelong ambition of becoming a professional Mahjong player. She is currently 23rd in the female rankings and her new found wealth has led to an addiction to crack cocaine and Singapore-style fried rice.
The Summoner of Leviathan
TSOL has had success after recently opening a tattoo parlour in Hollywood. However, he is currently in the middle of a lawsuit after tattooing an ejaculating penis on the back of Nicholas Cage for his role in the movie The Wicker Man.
WildRaubtier
Another sad story to end on. He attempted a Forest Gump-style run around the world. After a successful first few miles, he decided to stop and refuel with some Indian food. This meal was to be his last though as he choked to death on a chapati.
Of course, my spy's information has not always been the most reliable in the past. There is a strong possibility they are all just sat playing FFXIV.
Speech by Bubba (SPOILER)
Ah, the bi-yearly appreciation of members with no discernible talents whatsoever. There is literally nothing about any of these members that stands out other than the fact that they are alive. They specialise in mediocrity, they breathe in and out, they type words onto EOFF. Quite simply... they exist.
The following lists a few areas in which they are thoroughly unspectacular
Art - Nearly half of the nominees are able to hold a pencil the correct way. However, the ability to use said pencil to create a work of art, to speak a thousand words with a single image, to come up with something resembling a picture... sadly escapes them.
Writing - There are some members of EOFF that have the ability to dazzle with the most eloquent use of prose, to dash out a beautiful speech in iambic pentameter, to make words leap out and touch our very souls. Then there are other members, like the nominees here, who can spout such inane drivel and tripe that the thread in question decides to close itself of its own accord.
Standing Out - These people will probably still be ignored if they were on fire.
Basically, the over-riding factor as to why these names are here can be summed up in one word. Pity. Best of luck to the rejects
(SPOILER)
We like you, but god damn, are you on the road to not being around here anymore. This is pretty much the thought process of nominating people into this category.
Now, I don’t have the stats here, but I’d wager that some people who get nominated for this award actually get banned! In some cases this Ciddie is pretty much a true and accurate prediction! Now why would anyone want to nominate you into this award category that in certain specific cases was an EoFF Death Sentence?
Maybe they just don’t like you? …Nah, that won’t be it. Everyone likes you! That is how you got into the finals, in the end.
Perhaps instead, it is a plea for you to change your ways? We like having you around, so maybe you could cut down on your spam! Stop making all those offensive posts! Stop arguing over the right way to enjoy media! No Rinoa is not Ultimecia, your vehemence that your opinion on these matters is the true one is getting you nowhere! Maybe you could just be nicer.
I suppose though, we don’t really want you to change that much. We love you for your silly posts and your snarky commentary and your crackpot theories! Just uh, tone it down a little bit, yeah? I have it on good authority that the staff have a close eye on you…
Speech by sharkythesharkdogg (SPOILER)
It’s time for potential staffers! Whooo! This is our chance to glimpse into the future and see who it is we believe will serve us well in a position of authority.
What the hell do we know? If history has shown us anything, it’s that leaders, whether elected or appointed, can get pretty awkward. Thanks to either inbreeding or simply bad breeding, idiots naturally seem to float their way to the top of our social structure. It’s one of those odd aspects of humanity.
I don’t know anything about any of these people, especially that shion, so I think it’s only fair to use our own world history to randomly decide what we might get from each of these people once they’re in a position of authority.
So looking back through the records it seems you enjoyed spending your youth roaming the streets with a pack of other delinquents randomly attacking people with a studded mace. Nice people skills.
Once you’re in power, it seems your days will be spent open hand slapping people in the middle of official business discussions, cheating on your wife, and masturbating rather openly and rather often. I don’t know about clubbing people in the streets, but I have to say if I were ruler, I’d probably do other two things as well.
Quin – Quin, you get Nebuchadnezzar II. I just see you and think, “He’s a dead ringer for that Nebuchadnezzar fella. I’ll just call him Chad.” It makes sense if you think about it. http://pioneersofbearddom.com/wp-con.../11/116286.jpg
My friend it seems you will build a great city, perhaps even a fine empire! But alas you shall fall victim to pride at your accomplishments and be stricken with a 7 year bout of insanity. trout happens, broheim. Totes sorry. We will lose Quinn as his sickness inclines him to go live in the wilderness, and graze with the bison, or whatever the hell it is that guy did for 7 freaking years. Do not despair, however! History has also shown we are more than willing to take people back, and keep them in power long after we should know better. It appears after your 7 year hiatus of “getting in touch with your roots…..your GRASS roots” (wakka wakka!) you’ll wind up back in power. So who’s really the crazy one here?
So from what I’m reading you get put in place by the men really controlling things behind the scenes. You are married 10 freaking times. Then the stress of ruling the empire through difficult times (and probably trying to keep 10 women happy) causes you to suffer a mental breakdown. The same men who put you in power have you basically placed on house arrest until you finally die off.
Quick and brutal.
Sephex – Hey Justin! How’s it going, man? Happy birthday again! Sorry for the troutty present, but wait, not I’m not. You get Nero. Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Oi, even your name says, "I have problems." http://thewallmachine.com/files/1330394444.jpg
It seems your over bearing mother controlled much of your young life and will be largely responsible for your rise to power. This is accomplished mostly by killing off family members who might have gotten in your way. You’ll learn this lesson well, as it’s likely you had her killed off when…..she got in your way. So run on a platform of strong family values.
As the years go by you’ll go through a few different lovers before find a female you think is a keeper. Also a male you find to be a keeper. Rumor has it that you liked this fellow in particular because he looks like your mom. So, wow.
It seems in later years you’ll be suspected of arson (not cool man), and become infatuated with performance! In some form of mid-life crisis perhaps, you’ll begin performing your own songs and poetry, with your own voice with some lyre playing), and acting!
You know, I didn’t expect you to have a mild hunchback or be so self important, but facts are facts.
It also seems you really didn’t care for your husband. Between the bouts of heavy drinking you always take the time to publicly berate him for his sexual inadequacies and yell at him for how expensive the war is getting.
Eventually everyone finds out about the affair your having because you were looking pretty pregnant. The other man you’re dating is exiled (poor sharky), and you live out your days pissed off and alone.
A childhood that found you living in fear of both of your parents has left you estranged to both of them.
This situation somehow has led you to become obsessed with clothing, and the process of finding the perfect outfit. You seem to feel the need to burn 10, 20, or even 30 outfits as an offering to the clothing spirit in an attempt to find just the right one.
As time goes by it seems your father (We’ll call him BoB for now) has grown to dislike you even more. This leads to you taking it out on the servants (that’s little forum members like us :(.) To get your mind off things regular killings, rapings, or other horrible situations occur daily. Also drunken orgies, apparently. Didn’t know you were into those.
Eventually the king (BoB, remember?) has you stuffed into a box and starved to death for your behavior.
Sure why not. Oh sure, things start off reasonably. Don’t they always, with the promises you people make?
You bastard. It seems you grow to inherit your father’s temper, and also his bloodlust. After several years of rule, and after finally giving up on ever getting Queen Elizabeth’s hand in marriage, it seems you simply become unhinged.
You will begin to wander the halls of your castle (the forum), murdering people for coughing, laughing, smiling, or dressing incorrectly. Eventually you will have a large portion of the aristocratic community arrested for suspected treason (going after the other staffers now too, jeez.) You might actually be on to something, but you decide to head to where they are jailed to make amends. Only instead you stab some of them to death…..and order the guards to murder the rest. Then you ride off to calm down, only to stab MORE people to death when they try to calm you down. You will be dethroned, and live the rest of your life under arrest until you are finally poisoned. Merry Christmas.
Y’know this one is one of the more mild ones, actually.
Once you rise to power, it seems it still is not enough. You’ll become an insatiable glutton that desires everything you don’t have. You’ll be known as a kleptomaniac, even stealing Winston Churchill’s watch. Only it’s not just things. You’ll develop a pattern of only desiring married or engaged women, and often losing interest once they are more available.
You also develop a taste for eating caviar first thing in the morning right out of the can. That gets pretty salty, so you will wash it down with around 15-30 bottles of soda…….a day. Around the same time you start having nightmares about lions. (Who would think nightmares? You’re eating so healthy.) So do you cut back a little on the intake? No. You’ll go to the zoo to see the lions. It’s good to face your fears, I suppose.
Or shoot them….my sources say you shot the lions. Nice. Between all this rad behavior and deciding maybe the Nazi invasion is a better option than the British you will eventually lose favor with your people (that would be us), and be deposed.
So there you have it gang. Our future looks bleak. Maybe we should all move back into caves and wait for the next big flood.
Speech by Del Murder (SPOILER)
In this spirit of this award, I have created a template to use for all future Ciddies speeches. Now Jiro no one will have to spend another sleepless night compiling these at the last minute. For this speech you will need to select the following in advance:
through
On to the speech:
Hi everyone, I'm here to present . We have a set of nominees so let's get right to them so that gets off my back.
First up is . Now how did get nominated for this award? must have stacked the ballot box. Hahaha, just kidding . We know you're really great at being the ... for me to poop on!
I know and I don't really get along, but they really are . I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Now, the lineup wouldn't be complete without . Can take the Ciddie for the th time? I certainly hope .
The following expresses how I truly feel about :
I was really surprised to see a member like make the list. Good luck to you getting that Ciddie!
Finally, we have . My personal . What can I say about ? They have done so for EoFF that their record pretty much stands on its own.
Well, that does it for the speech. When nominating for the best speech award, make sure you don't forget . Thanks you little s.
I'm certain we all know the meaning of the word "underrated," but regardless, I'm going to educate you, anyway.
"to underrate:
to underestimate the extent, value, or importance of someone or something."
In otherwords, to not give enough credit due where it ought to be.
Let's take a look at our nominees.
Aulayna. Aulayna has been a member since 2005 and was promoted to staff in 2013. She has functioned as both a developer and an editor, with 120 articles under her belt. That's 120 more than most of you!
blackmage_nuke. Guess what? blackmage_nuke has a mage dressed as a Jawa holding a lightsaber that flashes at you every day. He is better than every member here because of that already. He's also been here since 2005, and is a prolific FF forums poster.
Crop. Another member from 2005! That must be the charmed year! Or is it the unlucky year because all of these people are underrated? As a supporter of Del Murder, though, this man deserves to be underrated, and I hope he does NOT win (just kidding crop you'd deserve it man).
Karifean. 2009! Finally broke the sad 205 trend, jesus. I'll tell you a secret about what I think of when I see Karifean's name. Guess who the most underrated member of the Futurama is? It's Kif. And for some reason, I relate Karifean to Kif from Futurama.
krissy. The fact that krissy still graces this place with his presence is a god damned miracle. krissy has been around longer than most of us here - certainly longer than myself. He joined in 2000! Did you know he had a hand in the sound editing for the Flower Girl I Used To Know video? krissy is obscenely cooler than each and every member here, yet he is not nearly recognized for it as he should be. I hope he wins this Ciddie as incentive to keep coming back because it stands for a mark as how well he is loved!
LocoColt04. This dude just joined barely over a year ago, and I consider him to be one of our prime currently active members. Somehow, he manages to split his time in being an active admin at thefinalfantasy.com (affiliate plug, I got you dog) and our forums themselves.
maybee. maybee is quickly growing to become one of my favorite members, and she's quite new herself, having only joined in 2012! She's there, sleuthily slinking in the woodwork among the mix of faces and POW! She'll knock you back with her sass and sharp wit. This girl deserves this award for sure.
Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World. Ah, another 2005er! Good old plef. How do you guys pronounce his name? do you just say "plef," like you're sounding out a comic book action bubble, or do you opt for "pee-lef"? I go for peelef. Peelef, it saddens me to see you on this list, as I think you should be recognized more, but I'm glad to see you getting it with this nomination atleast.
Sephex. THE DRAGON KING? HOW IS HE EVEN ON THIS LIST?! No, Sephex is not an underrated member of this forum, he is loved widely and across the board and I'll refuse to hear otherwise. :colbert: That's a lie. It was just in the last couple of years that Sephex won his first Ciddie EVER. EVER, even though he joined in 200! Can you believe that? You've really let me down, EoFF, letting that happen.
Shaibana. Joined in 2011! It occurs to me that Shaibana, like her aptly-chosen Game of Thrones character, is indeed very underrated. What sort of character development will we see from Shaibana in the coming years of EoFF? Time will only tell us. In the meantime, how do you feel about her winning this award? I think she'd be well-chosen.
Skyblade. Another 2005er?! What is the deal with these people! Friends, it pains me to say that I do not know much about Skyblade at all - it seems for the past few months he has been hiding out in the Bravely Default forum! This is perhaps why he deserves this award the most.
Tasura. I've had it with these 2005-joiners. There is some conspiracy here. How is it that a wave of people who joined almost ten years ago are so underrated?! Truth be told, Tasura frequents #eoff more than the forums, but this doesn't give him a disadvantage! Chatters back their own up - they're not about to let one of their own miss out on winning an award! Tas is a sweet dude and it's a shame more people do not seem to know him. Let's hope the chatters come through and pull in a win for him.
The White Wizard of Fynn. He's joined in 2006 and somehow, I feel like just in the last few months I've seen a spike in his activity! This could be my own obliviousness, though. Fynn's a good lad. His grasp of Ye Olde English Tongue in his fantasy writing is solid, and he has an amazing ability to write short, cohesive stories (check out TM for his work!). Definitely an underrated member of this forum, though I hope to see his recognition restored where it belongs.
Guys, we've gone through the list of these wonderful, truly undervalued members of this forum, and now we've reached Værn. Having joined in 2007, Værn is the true member who deserves this award. He is truly a mystery to me, and I feel terrible writing a speech about someone I know so little about! This only goes to solidify what an undervalued member he is, and since this award is meant to go toward the member holding that very quality, this is it, folks. I do know that he frequents chat, so between Værn and Tas, who will the chatters pull for? Find out shortly!
A final comment, members. Most of the people listed here have been here for years. If you feel that anyone of the members here - or any member of these forums, really - are indeed underrated, undervalued, and unappreciated, let them know. Do something nice for them. Leave them a rep, a VM, a PM, make a thread for them. Get to know them. It's nice to know that others appreciate you, even if it's just your presence.
Good luck to everyone who has been nominated for this award! I hope that by the next awards we don't see you return to it, as I hope by then the forums have embraced what lovely members I am certain you all are and can properly recognize you for it.
Speech by Shaibana (SPOILER)
Most mysterious person.
Now that is an award you maybe want to have, I don't know, they are too mysterious for it.
I saw that not all the contestants appreciated being called Mysterious but they will just have to get over that, getting a Ciddie is an honour that will compensate for it.
I'm not good at writing speeches at all and I've cracked my brain about it all night, so you will just have to do it with this.
The real question is, are these people really that hard to predict? some of them have been here a long time, so if we still don't know them by now they must be a real mystery.
How mysterious are these nominated people actually?
Do you think Crop likes to transgender? Or perhaps Spuuky likes to stalk people at night by following them on their way home? Perhaps Colonel Angus likes to put spaghetti in his hair in his free time.
But we don't know that, it's mysterious. But I am convinced that Parker dresses as Bigfoot in his free time wandering the woods to scare campers. He should stop doing that, he will get shot sooner or later. Take that as a warning, parker!
I think that is all I have to say about it, and congrats to the winner of this mysterious Ciddie!
(SPOILER)
There's a lot of debate going around the forum in regards to "Who's the Biggest Kid". Now we have a Ciddie to prove once and for all who the biggest kid is! Here are the contenders!
Chris More like someone the girls don't want to kiss (Laugh Track)
Jinx!? More like Stinks (Clown Whistle)
Loony BoB More like Looney Boob (Honk Honk)
Mercen-X More like needs to wear Specs (NEEEERRRRRDDDDD)
Mr. Shauna More like Mr. Whipped (Whip Crack)
NeoCracker More Like NeoSlacker (Snore)
noxious.sunshine More like Noxious.Gasses (Fart Noise)
Parker He's Welsh. That's insulting enough (Sheep Baa)
Pike More like still rides around on a trike (Bike bell)
Quin ` More Like belongs in a bin (Crowd Ooooooo)
ToriJ More like he's a cliché (Tidus Laugh)
(SPOILER)
This week on Eyes on Drama, we bring you the chilling conclusion to our tail. We have scene backstabs
and betrails, aliences forged and broken, food stuffs meddled with. Who was it that stole all of the bacon?
Was it to late to recover teh bacon? Would their be enough time to make it to the store to buy more before
they began the evenings circle jerk?
Let us see, on the final episode of For the Love between the Thunderthighs!
______________________________________________________________________________
Narrator: The air was tense as the twelve sat upon the floor of the empty kitched.
Loony-BoB: Listen Here See-rah...
Shorty (High pitched lady voice): That's it, I vote we kill Loony BoB first. He can't even say my name right.
*various yeahs and yes's*
Mirage (Clint Eastwood): I'll do the Honers. *Stab sound**Says you go Mirage*
SuperMillionaire (Gameshow host): And the first guy is eliminated! Thank you for playing BoB!
Mirage: I don't take to kindly to gameshow hosts around here Millionaire. *Stabing sound
SuperMillionaire (Gameshow Host): Oh, and it seems I am victim number 2! Thanks for playing me.
_______________________________
Narrator: The Croud went Silent as everyone stared down Mirage, when Noxious.Sunshine rises to the speak!
Noxious.Sunshine (Southern): Now listen here Mirage, I dun care what kind of cowboy you think you are, ain't nobody be
shanking nobody without a proper concensus!
Mirage (Clint Eastwood): Well to bad missy, I ain't in a rules followin' mood when some punk steals my bacon.
Shorty (High Pitched): Hey, let's not get all angry, we need to calm down and think rationally.
Mirage (Clint Eastwood): Says the dame who just had me stab a guy for talking funny!
Spooniest (Monarch):I, Spooniest, declare We eliminate shorty next! We all know she was the only one
who wished to remove Bacon from our bi-annual Circle Jerk! Her motives were clear! Mirage, stab
the wench in the throat, and remove the bacon from her corpse!
________
Announcer: Suddenly, three gunshots fired from Mercen-X's pistols, striking the skulls of Shorty, Mirage, and Noxious
Mercen-X(Schizophrenic): Couldn't... take, the talking. They never... stopped... the talking.
Spooniest (Monarch): Mercen! You killed the appointed executioner! Now what pychotic madman shall we have do our dirty
work!?
It was at this time Spooniest was grabbed from behind by Peacecraft.
Peacecraft (Smooth jazz voice): No need for more violence. We may not have the bacon, but whose to say we need it to
get the circle jerk underway baby?
Several shots from Mercen's gun are herd as he yelss
Mercen-X: I NEED BACON TO MAKE MY PENIS HAPPY!
And with that came the deathcries of Spooniest and Peacecraft. As the guns empty clips coudl be heard, Parker raised the call to strike!
Parker (Bratty boy): I knew we shouldn't have invited the crazy to the circle jerk! We need to get him now!
Announcer: The remaining participents of the circle jerk piled onto Mercen-X, delivering a violent beating. When the dust cleared,
not only had Mercen-X been killed, but admist the floor lay the dead body of Parker.
__________________
ToriJ (Mobster): Now Listen here see, only guy wanted parker dead this whole time see? That guy was Ms. Boobies herself See. Jynx is clearly
trying to cover for herself cause she stole the bacon, see?
Jynx (Valley): Like, Tori, Why would you do this to me? You know I didn't steal the bacon! Alive-man, help me out here!
Alive man (Stoner): Dude, like, the bacon isn't here? How are we suppose to start the circle jerk?
Forsake Lover (Brooklyn): You know what? Don't care anymore. I'm smurfing Forsaken Lover for christ sakes.
The group watches as Forsaken Lover picks up Mirage's Knife.
Forsaken Lover: Just going murder you all, and have a bacon-less sesion all by myself, capiche'..
And with a thrust of the knife, he stabs Jynx.
___________________
ToriJ (Mobster): You'll never take me, see?
Swifty, ToriJ pulls the Tommy gun from his back, unloading into the room, killing both Alive Man and Forsaken lover.
ToriJ (Mobster): Still though, I wonder who did steal the bacon? I mean I went to buy it this morning...
Oh wait, I forgot. I was out of gas and couldn't go get it! Seems there wasn't any bacon all along!
(SPOILER)
This is shion with funniest member. Normally, this speech should be funny to go with funniest member. But i want to take this opportunity to talk to you about something serious. Not dating robots. I know you just want to get back to your silly fun but this is actually important, so please take 2 minutes to learn about the dangers of robot dating and watch this video. Thank you.
(SPOILER)
An integral part of the Eyes on Final Fantasy experience. We have many talented writers on our team of Editors and Contributors, and of course we appreciate and thank them for all the work they do - but which of the many articles that they have hammered out did the EoFF Community like the best?
First up, our Community Updates. This article series has been passed around like nobody’s business, but is currently sitting in the capable hands of Shorty. A rundown of the hot spots of the community is something a bustling community like ours needs! Make sure you give it a read when it pops up on a Sunday, to make sure you’ve not missed out on a hot thread or event!
Agent Proto’s Final Fantasy Fan Art Showcase of the Week is still going strong, continuing to showcase the highlights of the artwork produced by the Final Fantasy fandom. It is always worth a look to see some of the beautiful pictures!
Now for something a little bit more personal: How the Characters of FFIX Inspired Me. A lovely piece of introspective writing by shion, which reflects on the trials of the characters of FFIX and how this affected her. There are many things all throughout the Final Fantasy series which inspired all of us, so give this particular experience a read – who knows, it might inspire you!
There’s been a lot of stuff going on in the world of Eorzea! Missed out on what has been updated in the (sort of) most recent patch? Well, look no further than Aulayna’s FINAL FANTASY XIV Patch 2.1 – Impressions article. Covering new dungeons, new quests, improvements to the social aspects of the game and much more, it touches on all the things you should be excited for!
Increasing numbers of people have come out of the closet and admitted they actually really enjoyed Final Fantasy X-2. Who doesn’t like dress up and job systems? Locky certainly does and in her Top 5 Fashionable Dresspheres of Final Fantasy X-2 she tells us which of the many dresspheres are the ones you should be wearing.
So far we’ve had mostly news and community related articles. Shorty’s Star Blitzball Player Threatens To Quit Over Pronunciation Dispute shows off how we are also looking to have a sense of humour on our frontsite! A great little article poking fun at all the fans who like to argue over pointless details. It’s Tie-dus though, guys.
Distant Worlds is an amazing experience. Don’t believe me? Well, look no further than Shorty’s Distant Worlds in Portland: A Fan's First Experience for more proof. A listing of the music played on the night, accompanied by YouTubes of the songs themselves will make you feel like you were actually there!
Last, and certainly not least is Psychotic’s The Sims Let's Play. What if all the Final Fantasy characters lived together? I’m sure the result would be nothing like what has been happening over the course of this Let’s Play, but the experience has been great nonetheless. Excellent videos and great commentary from Psychotic himself makes this worth your time.
So here we have it. All of these are worthy entrants for the title of Best Article/Article Series. But which one will take the gold?
Speech by shion (SPOILER)
As some of you may know, I am a huge fan of Let's Play's. Whether it be for games I've already played so I can relive all of the great moments, or whether it be for a game I've never even heard of that let's me know if I want to play it some day, Let's Play's are a great way to enjoy all the good of a game without the pesky gameplay that comes with it.
Let's take a look at the nominees!
Harry Potter Let's Play by Shauna
This is an excellent Let's Play. Harry Potter is a very popular series and seeing the old school GameBoy graphics is a special treat indeed. Her commentary is funny and her image captions are superb. It's really no wonder its so popular.
Let's Play the Sims 3 Final Fantasy by Psychotic
Psychotic has obviously put a great deal of work in to this, making all of those Sims. It's a video Let's Play, meaning we don't miss a second of the hilarious Sims shenanigans. Everyone loves watching the Sims because the game pulls out some ridiculous characters, and having it themed for Final Fantasy is an excellent way to tie in with the forum.
Let's Play The Elder Scrolls by Pike
This is a game I had often heard of and never knew anything about. Pike has remedied that for me! Her commentary is priceless and makes the game ten times more fun than it already is and I especially enjoy her use of images and smilies.
Let's Play The Dragon's Revival [long title] by Mister Adequate
One major think I appreciate with this Let's Play is how its presented. We have a nifty index at the front, we have separated sections, we have a very clear explanation, all of this makes it very easy to follow. He also choose a very exciting story that hooks you in and makes you want to read more.
Let's Play Chrono Trigger by shion
This is an awesome Let's Play because I wrote it. In all seriousness though, I'm not as talented of an LPer as some of these others. I mostly just type whatever I'm thinking and hope others find it amusing. The success of it was much more about the game itself as Chrono Trigger is a much loved game, with good reason.
Let's Play Ace Attorney by Proto
This type of game works really well for a Let's Play and seeing it played by a known Ace Attorney fan was a real treat. He did a great job of capturing the relevant moments and presenting everything so it was easy to follow and enjoyable.
Let's Play Super Mario Brothers by Flying Mullet
What can I say about this. It was a grand adventure that sucked you in and spit you back out and left you feeling almost like you'd only seen the intro and the ending. Marvelous work.
(SPOILER)
There was a time when Square's games were a find
When their stories were fun
And their worlds were lively
And the FF forums were all alive
New games brought a buzz
And the talk was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And the games worth playing
I dreamed our love would never die
I dreamed these games I'd keep on buying
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
Square gave us twelve great games
We made our posts, no topic unsaid.
But the L'cie, they came at night
With a story so convoluted
And they tore our hope apart
And they turned our dreams to shame
The crazy theories we would write
Our threads were filled with endless wonder
Was Squall dead, could Aerith be revived
But that all stopped when XIII came
Still I dream Square'll come back to me
That we'll discuss these games forever
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream these games would be
So different from this crap I'm playing
So different now from what it used to be
Now Square has killed the dream I dreamed
Speech by ToriJ (SPOILER)
My lords, my ladies, honored guests and nominees...
MORE WINE!
I always wanted to say that even if it is coming out of Mr.Shauna's mouth.
Timber Maniacs was always an underrated board, I felt, so it's nice to see so many people nominated for it. I had hoped the award would be decided by the nominee to make the best Ciddie Speech, but then I realize that would deteriorate into people whacking each other over the head with their keyboards. Frankly I would not be surprised if that already happened and will be greatly disappointed if I was the first one to think of it.
Seriously, though. There isn't a single name nominated for this award that doesn't deserve the honor and I can easily see any one of them snatching it. So may the best writer... rewrite this entire scene with an outcome that best suits them and forget what really happened. Goodnight, everybody!
(SPOILER)
What do AlaynaMe, blackmage_nuke, fire_of_avalon, Freya, Parker, Pike, Quin, and Shauna all have in common? Besides being members of EoFF? Nothing. But they do all have amazing signatures! What makes their signatures so amazing that it got them nominated for this? For starters, their signatures are eye-catching and appealing to the eyes. They are not annoyingly flashy, nor are they too complicated to not understand. Let's take each nominee and allow me to evaluate their signature.
First off, we have AlaynaMae. Her signature is rather simple, but it's also animated, and it is this animation that I think grabbed the attention of those who nominated her for this award. Well done!
Nominee number two is blackmage_nuke. His signature is also just as simple. It's comprised of a lineup of the entire cast of the playable characters in Final Fantasy VI, all in their original sprite form. It looks pretty neat, and for this he has earned a nomination spot.
Third, we have fire_of_avalon. Her signature features Deadpool. Everyone loves Deadpool, and this is why she's nominated for this award.
Freya is our fourth nominee. Her signature is currently a simple picture of some pretty lady, obviously a celebrity, but I don't know who it could be. The signature is pretty.
Parker is number five on our list of nominees. His signature is bright and yellow and it appears to be done by our good friend Mr. Shauna for £10, though I don't know why anyone would pay. This signature is pretty alright.
And for our sixth nominee, we have Pike. Her signature comprises of the three Pokemon starters of the first generation along with Pikachu in front. It's in a cute artstyle, and this is how it earned her a spot in the nominations.
Next up is Quin. His signature is really simply beautiful to look at. It's an amazing artwork of a person overlooking a mountain range. It's breathtaking.
Lastly, we have Shauna. Her signature comprises of official artwork from the game Okami. Yes, it's a great looking signature. Amaterasu never looked so good.
Speech by sharkythesharkdogg (SPOILER)
So now we’ve come to best regular. A prestigious award indeed. It’s existence serves to highlight those stalwart, dependable, unfaltering members who are there day in and day out. When we’re at our worst, they bring out our best, when a conversation is in a lull, or stuck, they push things along to ensure a smoothly function forum.
And perhaps that’s why we call them regulars. They are the nice bran muffin or glass of prune juice to the forums BMs, they are the fundamental additions to our forum “diet” that help keep things moving.
With that in mind, let’s meet our regulars. The folks keeping things fresh and making sure we’re not mucking about in stale……conversation.
A nice group of ladies and gents who help run events, write articles, and other fun things. You can bump into these people folks all over the forum, and shouldn’t be afraid to talk to ‘em. So let’s see who everyone’s favorite is!
(SPOILER)Over the past six months a LOT has gone on in staff. We've seen legends depart and new faces take up more and more active roles. It's been an intense experience for myself with all the ownership responsibilities and decisions really kicking in, not to mention the change in how decisions are made which has really sped up the progression of things around the place. We've even seen a few new forums, too - notably Let's Play and Sedorra - that have allowed the more creative people at EoFF to get more involved with the place, and I really do hope that creativity does thrive around this place as I believe it makes up an important part of EoFF's community.
Back in staff, I'd say only around half of the stuff that has gone on in the staff forums has made itself obvious to the public thus far, if that... but despite that, I'd say it's arguably been our most active six month period for a very long time. I expect the community to get a few pleasant surprises in the near future!
There have been some staff changes, of course. For every legend that departs EoFF, though, there is another willing to take their place - it's one of the great things that has allowed EoFF to really keep going over time... the commitment of our members to ensure the place just keeps striding forward. I like to think that the staff take a leadership role in this aspect and show off their commitment on a regular basis by posting around these boards and remaining some of the most active people on the boards.
This year we've had a Cid's Knight who has been incredibly active in public and private, encouraging meetings and ideas in the staff forum and helping to ensure that they keep progressing towards decisions being made. She's taken up a leaderhsip role in the Garden Festival Committee and has been constantly in my face nagging me to get everything and anything done RIGHT NOW. xD Welcoming to all newbies and supportive to members throughout the forums when they need help, she sets high standards for herself and others and is willing to get involved in anything if it means that it makes EoFF a better place. She's also a great friend to me and I'm proud to say that the Highwind Award for Forums Staff goes to Shorty! :)
(SPOILER)As mentioned in the previous speech, the changes afoot at EoFF have been many in the past six months. It's naturally been a little demanding on our site staff what with trying to keep up with the notable increase in our social media presence, the never-ending need for fresh content on the frontsite and the increasing number of tickets in our Developer Ticket System within the staff forum (the fact that we've needed to create one says it all!). I'll note that the vote for the Highwind was pretty spread on this occasion and it is without doubt in my mind that this is due to the excellent team we have all working hard to a fairly even level. I think one staffer even said they got it narrowed down to about five or six people and then realised they couldn't pick!
Big changes have been ongoing and we still intend on increasing our site staff, so I encourage anyone and everyone who is interested in writing articles to get involved! Likewise anyone interested in throwing together some videos for the YouTube channel are more than welcome to get in touch with Psychotic to help our ever-growing list of videos there! We'll be unveiling another new feature of the EoFF community here in the forums soon, too, so keep your eyes out for new shinies around the place. ;)
One thing that we've never really been happy with is our current frontsite, and while the CMS sadly has progressed little during these six months I can proudly say that due to a push from many of our lovely staff members, we're almost ready to set Fifteen as our new default style that will help give us a modern edge. One key person in getting this style sorted to the high standards we want for it is Marshall Banana, and her ability to stay calm and just chip away at things while we point out all the issues we find makes her a welcome addition to our very hard working team. So, a big congratulations to the lady who returned to our staff ranks quite recently, Marshall Banana, on winning the Highwind Award for Site Staff! :)
Man stuff. Doing some man stuff. Scratching my balls, drinking some whiskey, taking a nap...
...where was I?! Oh, right. Man stuff.
So what if you're the second best male? I mean, if the Best Member is also a male, doesn't that put you in second place? NO! And you know why it doesn't? Because it's YOUR brass balls that won a Best Male Ciddie.
Best Men have a lot of roles in life, like embarrassing the trout out of their best friends at weddings, and toasting to all the pretty ladies (or men) out there - hey, it's all kosher. You just do you.
So kick up your feet, sit back, and relax.
Fart a little. Girls do it too.
1. Best Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Award Guy
Speech by Psychotic
See you guys in 18 minutes...
06-01-2014, 03:42 AM
Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World
shion
06-01-2014, 03:42 AM
Formalhaut
Will do this when I have some rest!
Thank you Shorty for running this award, and thanks once twice thrice more shion for doing a fantastic effort with the speeches!
06-01-2014, 03:44 AM
Shauna
Votes sent! :3 So many great speeches!
06-01-2014, 03:47 AM
Pumpkin
:jess:
06-01-2014, 03:50 AM
Shiny
These have been some of the best speeches in a while imo. I actually enjoyed these Ciddies thoroughly this time around because of these, so thanks to everyone who did these. The vocaroo implication was a great idea. I hope next year we can have more YouTube ones though. ;)
06-01-2014, 04:00 AM
Kalevala
Some of these brought me to tears. Great job by everyone involved.
06-01-2014, 04:05 AM
Colonel Angus
I like the vocaroo ones. It loaded up smoothly on my nightmare of a computer.
There were some hellava great speeches. Dap to everbody who wrote & read them. A special shout-out to shion who did the most.
06-01-2014, 05:16 AM
Shorty
Additionally, if you wrote a speech, post in this thread so you can get repped for your amazing hard work!
06-01-2014, 05:19 AM
Kalevala
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colonel Angus
There were some hellava great speeches. Dap to everbody who wrote & read them. A special shout-out to shion who did the most.
Yeah, a big thank you to shion for working so hard on this. Amazing stuff!
06-01-2014, 05:28 AM
Pumpkin
speech
06-01-2014, 05:36 AM
fire_of_avalon
I am so glad you did this so now I can listen to them all since I wasn't here for the actual Ciddies time. :D
06-01-2014, 06:53 AM
Scotty_ffgamer
These were all fantastic speeches this year! Hopefully I have time when I wake up in the morning to send in votes.
06-01-2014, 07:09 AM
LocoColt04
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
Additionally, if you wrote a speech, post in this thread so you can get repped for your amazing hard work!
I mean, I suppose. I'm just sad I missed the entire thing. I'll have to read through the thread tomorrow... I'm exhausted!
Speech by fire_of_avalon
