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the titttle says it. im drunk so other peopl should be too, and teh inter net is awsome cause we can be drunk at seperate times and like it;s totally cool. who is with me here? oh this wiill ptobably be deleted tomo morning and wake up. oh smurf it, i made a dumb thread when i got drunk whats the dumbest things you guys habe done while intoxicated? love all of you :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
http://returntomanliness.com/wp-cont.../beer-pbr1.jpg
uhhh most embarrassing i've done while drunk actually occurred this past weekend, but it's so ridiculous and embarrassing that smurf that, i'm not telling a bunch of pseudo-strangers on the webz. and unfortunately I won't be getting drunk for a while, finals weeks etc. :(
People usually can't tell from my typing that I'm wasted, I'm awesome like that. I haven't done anything particularly embarassing/regrettable while drunk, the worst might be getting a solid slap in my face by a girl when I was 15. I can't recall *exactly* what lead to that, but I'm pretty sure I said something rude.
The worst thing I've done while drunk was get in a fight with a street lamp and lose.
No one wants to know the worst thing I did while drunk. I did piss in the cat litter box before because I came home drunk (walked from a restaurant/bar across the street from my apartment), and one of my cats pissed on an article of clothing I accidentally left on the floor.
So, I was all like, "OhhhhHHH YEAaaahh cat?! MABHYE I Shuld piss all ovar somethin' YOU own!" I swear to god my cat stared at the litter box bewildered for two hours.
:( Well I'm glad that kiss meant as much to you as it did to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by theundeadhero
I cheated on my boyfriend when I was drunk. Yeah, I hate myself.
I haven't been drunk in a few weeks, nor to I intend on getting drunk anytime soon. It's an awful lot of effort and an awful lot of calories.
And I am soooo not interested in reliving my drunken mistakes, thanks.
That said, I spent the weekends in the mountains with three drunk dudes and let's just say that they have learned that a pile of snow does not replace the love of a good woman. And cold burns.
Hey, I just remembered about this. It all happened last month. This story is long, but I wrote it right after it happened (while still being drunk) and posted it on a dating site. I'm still single for some reason. Words in brackets are notations I made just for this thread. Example: [[Commentary]]
_____________________________
Me and two friends decided to see 2012 today. We pregamed like crazy because there was no way we were going to see this movie sober. I made myself a stiff rum and coke, along with my two friends Steve [[known as edczxcvbnm in these parts]] and Dan. Both Steve and I had empty stomachs when we started to drink. We quickly filled up on tacos, but whatever, I still felt the need to drink before we left. This is what I personally had:
*Stiff rum and coke
*shot of rum
*stiff rum and coke
*shot of rum
*shot of rum [[now that I think about it, I think those were double shots]]
[[Sadly, this was pretty tame for me, but you'll see why...]]
We decided to prepare our own drinks for the theater. Steve had a bunch of empty energy drink containers, so I made Steve a pretty strong screwdriver, I made Dan a decent Rum and Coke, and I made myself a screw driver with half the container filled with vodka and OJ. The rest had rum in it. I don't know, I'm a ****ing idiot.
So we decide to walk for obvious reasons, and Steve gave me a Smirnoff twist to drink on the way there. Having no shame, I drink my bottle in front of heavy traffic. [[wasn't showing off, I just was at that point where I wasn't thinking of the consequences of my actions too much]] I swear to god, we run into a man in a Luigi suit and some teenage sluts were trying to get our attention. I high five the Luigi, and ignore the girl teenyboppers asking if they could have our alcohol. **** them.
So we get to the theater. We bought our tickets in advance, so we waltz right in the theater. [[we hid in the booze in our pockets]] The ****ing place is PACKED. We did not expect this because, seriously, what sober person wants to see 2012? The only seats available are in the front row. **** it, I am already drunk as hell. Let's do this. [[the screen was huge, I had to constantly move my head throughout the whole movie just to tell what was going on]]
The movie was long winded and boring. I am glad that I got wasted during it because it ****ing sucked. The build up took forever. When things FINALLY went down I ****ing chugged my drink like it was MY last day on earth. About an hour in, I was completely wasted. I actually managed to savior my makeshift drink until 10 minutes before the movie came to a close.
After it was over, I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't feel sick, but I really had to pee, and I wanted to self induce vomiting because I had a long walk on the way to Steve's apartment. [[I hate walking when I have excessive liquid in my stomach, even if it is just water]] There was a line for the bathroom, but I pushed past everyone. I didn't ****ing care.
Some eight year old kid says, "Hey! HEY! You can't do that! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
I ignore him as a stall opens. I peed. I tried for a good few minutes to induce vomiting, but it wasn't happening. I give up. I leave the stall. The eight year old kid was still there.
"Hey! You cut in front of everyone!"
Me: "Shut up! No one cares! You snooze you lose!"
"YOU LOOK DRUNK!! I'M GOING TO GET MY DAD!"
Oh **** what did I do? I somehow get out of the bathroom before the kid. I spot my friends right away.
Me: "We need to go. NOW." [[I became paranoid that the dad would call the authorities and I didn't feel like dealing with that. Yes, I am a terrible person.]]
I explain to them what happened on the way home. We laugh our asses off at the situation. We get home safely, and I think I have made myself sicker (been sick all week). Don't care; totally worth it.
I've done many strange and dumb things while drunk.
I had a fight with my friend after a party that consisted of vodka and no prior eating, so I ended up walking home in the frozen tundra of Rhode Island, falling on snow and ice, and spooning it for comfort while crying.
It sounds really sad, but it's probably the funniest thing I've ever heard me do.
I had a friend once who was so drunk I had to bring her over for a night to make sure she would be okay, and when I gave her my spare PJs (Chinese food cuisine PJs!), she (being asian and my asian drama buddy) rolls her eyes in all her drunken stupor and says "Jess? Asian PJs? You would." and prompty goes to sleep.
Climbing onto the roof of my house was a good one. So was playing strip Soul Calibur, and losing. Only once, though. After that, I refused to play any more. Then I went on to go climb onto the roof of my shed without replacing my t-shirt. At like midnight. The list could go on, but these are the drunken stories I will go on to tell forever.
That's not very surprising at all..In fact you'll definitely surprise me if you claimed that you haven't been drinking at least for 48hrs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Breine
I drank 8 glasses of white wine and 4 glasses of reds Saturday night! Mighty fun it was!!
eeeeehehehehhehhheeheh. :blush:
There should be some kind of compilation of all the drunk threads that have ended up here. xD
Despite my best efforts I don't have any interesting or funny drunk tales to tell :(
Never been drunk! Never will be, I say.
I don't drink but my wife does. She got drunk at her company's Christmas party. I wouldn't have known though if she hadn't come stumbling through the doorway. I find that's the best time for nonsense conversation that she wouldn't normally indulge in. Geeking out on time travel discussion is rather fun with a drunk person. :p I've only seen her drunk a few times in our relationship and I've never seen her do anything stupid, just silly conversations.
I got horribly drunk on pure vodka way back in February: screwdrivers, Mudshakes, and capfuls of Smirnoff. The house I was in was hotter than hell, looked like crap, and smelled like cat piss, menthol cigarettes and weed. I was enjoying it (I'm a happy drunk), but when I went outside for what seemed to be the hundredth time for some fresh air, I fell into a snowbank unintentionally and realized I had no control over what I was doing. That freaked the :bou::bou::bou::bou: out of me, and my emotions turned so quick from pure bliss to serious to scared to bawling to dying on the floor.
Was not fun, but definitely funny looking back. I haven't had vodka since then, I prefer wine mostly nowadays (I find everything more tolerable, haha), and rum is great too.
I don't get drunk very often, and I'm not a very entertaining drunk, so I don't have many dumb drunk stories. However, I have been hungover 1) at my college graduation, and 2) in front of my relatives, which were both entertaining if you were in my head, because I was struggling constantly to act normally and not throw up everywhere.
Obviously he didn't mention that because it was the best thing he's done while drunk.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yar
Damn...I've done a bit of drinking in my day, I think one of the worst (and embarassing in retrospect) things I've done is waking up in someone's house. Did I know these people? No. Did they know me? Apparently so.
I usually remember things quite well, but that night I don't have a single damn memory except for a friend of mine falling down the stairs and me saying "Gimme another."
I think I've told this story to Nikki...>.>
I was 17, shut the hell up people...
I've done a few very dumb things whilst drunk.
Quote:
but it's so ridiculous that smurf that, i'm not telling a bunch of pseudo-strangers on the webz.
just woke up, noticed that i made this thread... raaaaaaaaad. anyway guess i didn't say my worst drunk story. 2 new years ago i got warlord drunk and ended up banging some broad in a wet bathtub while people at the party kept coming in to piss. it is actually pretty funny to look back on though.
[QUOTE=guffman;2761950ended it is actually pretty funny to look back on though.[/QUOTE]
Most of these stories are.
at least you didn’t drink jizz
I took my clothes off (left underwear) and marched around my living room that was filled with roughly 50 people at the time. I was singing some song as well but I can't remember what it was. Then I fell over and almost broke my table.
I have countless stories. One that springs to mind is when I was 17. I had a fake ID and it was so badly made that the first time I used it, the bouncer knew straight away basically told me to smurfoff or I was barred. I convinced my friends that all was not lost. So me, being the messy drunk I was at the time decided it was a great idea to sneak in 'round the back. Thing was, going this way while drunk is near impossible when trying to avoid injury.
We jumped over a 6 foot high gate and had to remain on a ledge to not fall into a canal. Of course, one of my friends did by accident but we got him before he could float off (and he miraculously stayed reasonably dry even though it happened. Now the silly part. In order to get to the nightclub we had to walk through the hotel part (as it was both). I checked the smoking area door, it was closed. Just our luck, 'cos this mean't we had to walk through the room where everyone was having their meal for the night. Now you can just imagine how this looks; Four guys, one who was that drunk my mate had to help him stay on his feet if needs be, me, and the guy who was drenched from waist to foot in river water. It's embarressing thinking about it but at the time we didn't give a :bou::bou::bou::bou:. Everyone was looking at us. Then Paul (the really drunk guy) stumbled into me and I went straight into a dinner table and knocked the whole thing down. Thankfully nobody was sitting there but everything threw over to the side and I was left there on the ground with this table and cutlery all over the place. We got up and ran and although more stuff happened that night that was probably the most embarrassing. On the upside, we didn't have to pay in. Good times.
I never stay in the happy drunk stage for long, I drink too much and end up in the not-even-able-to-speak drunk phase were I just can't even keep my head up. It's not good. I got kicked out of a club for being too drunk once and I fell over in some glass and laughed when my legs were bleeding.
There are many many things that have happened whilst I have been wasted which I will not go into.
Let's go clubbing together.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeldy
Stop drinking then you moron.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeldy
I had 0.7L of pure vodka in under 30 minutes, by the double. I remember faceplanting a table.
Then I woke up wondering how I got in my bed and where the hell my pants were.
Someone told me last time I was drunk I almost got into a fight in a club and was doing The Rock's 'Bring it on' hand movement.
For one, I have neither the attitude or strength of The Rock.
And for two, I don't think I have the strength to take on an 11 year old girl when the sun is in her eyes.
That's what the sneaky :bou::bou::bou::bou: Punt is for, Crop. :D
My first hangover was enough to make me never drink again.:greenie:
Wuss. ;)
C'mon, a hangover kept you from drinking? Have some more of the creature when you get one and it'll take the edge off :beer:
wow... i had no idea there were so many freakin squares on this forum. i dont trust a person who doesn't drink. and i'm not saying you gotta drink all the time or in excess, but seriously... what the hell?Quote:
Originally Posted by Rad Bromance
I showed up to a party, and before anyone had gotten there besides me, I saw the host (a rather large man) who was in a football helmet that was too small, and he had a 2/3 empty bottle of Jack hanging from his fingertips singing (I kid you not) "Henry the 8th I am". He was then seen talking to a tree...>.>
Later the same guy asked if there were any 'blackies' around and before we could tell him yes he started telling rascist jokes.
Sounds awesome
I don't trust a person who doesn't drink chocolate milk.
Woooow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Quin
Most of my drunk stories are relatively tame. I just act really silly, say goofy :bou::bou::bou::bou: and drunk dial people. I haven't drank so much yet that I've blacked out/thrown up/etc. Usually I'm smart enough to cut myself off before then xD
....ughQuote:
Originally Posted by Marshall Banana
Reminds me of the time I finished an entire fifth of Captain Morgan straight in less than two hours. Half of it was in 30 minutes. This is the only time I ever blacked out completely and retain zero memory from what happened, aside from glimpses here and there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Quin
That was pretty much a wake up call for me to tone it down.
You don't like chocolate milk!?Quote:
Originally Posted by guffman....ughQuote:
Originally Posted by Marshall Banana
What a freak!
D:< Chocolate milk is the best milk of all!
Only on an FF message board would the guy who doesn't like chocolate milk get called out as weird :p
no!Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Maxx PowerStop drinking then you moron.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeldy
:roll2Quote:
Originally Posted by guffmanwow... i had no idea there were so many freakin squares on this forum. i dont trust a person who doesn't drink.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rad Bromance
Heaven forbid someone doesn't share your idea of fun. And for the record, I'm a social drinker myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by guffman
Now that I can agree with!Quote:
Originally Posted by MB
Aww, come on man, at least you're guaranteed a designated driver. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by guffmanwow... i had no idea there were so many freakin squares on this forum. i dont trust a person who doesn't drink. and i'm not saying you gotta drink all the time or in excess, but seriously... what the hell?Quote:
Originally Posted by Rad Bromance
I've been majorly drunk twice in a lifetime.
Oh if anyone of us go together in a group, lets all play beer pong together!!
I can remember being so drunk a friend of mine talked me into wearing a prom dress and then, thinking it wouldn't be weird the next morning, had me lay down with my sleeping brother for a "funny" picture. It was funny until the alcohol wore off.
The same night my friend's boyfriend, seeing that I could sit up without the table's help, thought it would be funny to dare me to stand on my head. I tried, fell, and never got back up. Not that I didn't try though. Apparently there's a video on my friend's myspace of me "flopping around like a mermaid".
I don't hang out with them anymore. :colbert:
thats not what my ugh... was for. it was in reference towards the statement itself. Chocolate milk is fine but the statement made no sense because at no point in time did i say i did not like chocolate milk. see what I'm saying here?Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall BananaYou don't like chocolate milk!?Quote:
Originally Posted by guffman....ughQuote:
Originally Posted by Marshall Banana
What about strawberry milk?
I am fairly certain you missed the point. :holmes:Quote:
Originally Posted by guffmanthats not what my ugh... was for. it was in reference towards the statement itself. Chocolate milk is fine but the statement made no sense because at no point in time did i say i did not like chocolate milk. see what I'm saying here?Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall Banana
chocolate milk is sogud n this best rgthread evar *hic*
Okay, first of all... chocolate milk is amazing. :colbert:
And secondly, I've only been majorly drunk three times. <. <
The only somewhat funny story from any of those times is really stupid. xD
I went with a friend to this chick's house, and we got really wasted from drinking jack and vodka. Neither one of us were smart enough to realize we had no designated driver, and the chick MADE us sleep at her house. I woke up the next morning with this little kid laying on top of me, and my mum calling my phone screaming and wondering where I was. <. <
I have no idea who the little kid was, or what he was doing laying on me, but he smelled like liquior too. /:
Just came home from the Christmas dinner with the faculty of science at Lund university (it's 2:30 AM here). It was fun to see the university president do the moonwalk to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" after the dinner. :lol: (some of the other professors were dancing quite intensely as well...) I had a glass of wine (or two) and a couple of drinks, so I guess I'm sort of "affected" (for free, mind you :))
At a friends house I had three mixed drinks with 92 proof rum. I got buzzed. Sometimes I hate having a high tolerance.
Bwahaha, poor Guardian.Quote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIII
I'd have at least helped you up, but thats what friends are for arent they? *slaps KICK ME sign on his back*
JK
Heh, haven't heard that one. You child molester...oh wait...you're two years younger than me aren't you?...I stand by my statement :shifty:Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki
Ugh, done so many stupid things. One of them being running into a warehouse full of beer and running around inside among all the bottles of beer setting off all of the alarms in the entire world.
Btw, I never intended to take any beer, I was just amazed by the amounts of it at the tme. :p
orly? was it the good ol sailor jerry?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sephex
I've never been drunk myself, being underage. However, I have a tale of my first time being in a room with a bunch of drunk middle-aged people. :D
Long and Boring StoryMy friend, Caleb, happens to have new neighbors. Their son, Van, has a band. After re-discovering their daughter, who seemed to be gaining her mother's attention by hiding, Van's mother invited me to watch their band. So, we walk towards their house, and I start hearing the music roar. I would have liked it if it wasn't a hard-rock band, but the music was still a great experience. Their bass player was awesome (Van), their guitarist was very nice, and the drummer was playing perfectly, as any drummer should. Something I disliked about the guitarist was that between songs, whether or not we were standing right next to him, he'd bother to speak into the mic. Ugh.
Of course, that's beside the point. While listening to the band, Caleb and two of our friends walk in. They didn't know where I was, but now I was found, so we listened to the band together. Caleb enjoyed it, Dustin was bobbing his head, and Evan had no comment. He was just the first one to notice the huge amount of energy drinks stored on the wall. I had an internal 'lol'.
I'm not sure at what point every middle-aged person in the room got ridiculously drunk, but they got ridiculously drunk. It was awkward. At one point, two of the 'drunkards' (as they shall be referred henceforth) were arguing over whether or not they should sing to the song. Once they finally decided they would, my first reaction was simply to move the microphone back to the guitarist. Even over the music blaring, I could hear Dustin laughing his ass off at that. One of the drunkards just stared at me and said something which, thankfully, I couldn't hear.
At one point, I got the chance to play the guitar myself. One of the drunkards was surprised that I could play, and it seems that it will forever be a mystery to them, because they don't remember anything but the morning after. It's somewhat sad, really. But I screwed up twice, so maybe it's for the better. They say first impressions are everything.
Eventually, one of the drunkards (who actually has quite a past in music) joined in. He still had the mind to play, but his singing was very bad. He was talking funny before he played, so I think it was the alcohol that messed that up. It's interesting to see how musical skill shines through drunk people.
When everything was done with, Caleb, Dustin and Evan had already left. I stayed to talk with the older gentleman who was drunk and singing. He taught me how to play the drums, which was very fun, even if it was confusing. Unlike the others, he actually seemed to take being drunk quite well, and we had an interesting conversation. But one person was speaking gibberish and falling over, so our conversation kept getting interrupted. She actually fell in a way that reminds me of our side-break falls in earlier Karate classes. At least I can be sure drunk people don't hurt their spines!
So, yeah. I just made up for the lack of wildness with a ton of words, but that's my first "Only sober guy in the room besides the band" moment.
Nice catch. You are correct, sir. I love that stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by guffmanorly? was it the good ol sailor jerry?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sephex
I think this thread will become more and more active over the holidays. I for one will be binge-ing from Christmas Day 'til the New Year.
EDIT: I'm hammered right now.
i'm a little fuzzy (coconut rum + hawaiian punch = :heart:) but not drunk~
had a bad night :(
ilu.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall Banana
Uhm, both of those drinks separate are good ... but together? ewww.Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Celes~*~
I also do not echo the sentiment of hatin' on the non-drinkers. There is such a thing as an alcoholic ;) Besides that, I know a handful of people who just don't enjoy the feeling of being drunk. Hell,50%70% time I get drunk I regret it.
I have a million and one silly drunken stories. My favorite is from when I was ... 14 or 15. I was running around the house we were drinking at, in nothing but boxer shorts for my clothes were drying (having jumped into the pool fully clothed, iPod+cellphone and all), with a popsicle in hand (or maybe it was being held by the waistband of my shorts ...) shouting I AM THE POPSICLE KING.
edit: to be fair.
oh smurf yeah. i will drink that :bou::bou::bou::bou: until i die. but i am drunk off Killian's tonight!Quote:
Originally Posted by SephexNice catch. You are correct, sir. I love that stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by guffmanorly? was it the good ol sailor jerry?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sephex
A good friend of mine in college didn't drink, hated beer, and had never been drunk before. Over senior week, I introduced him to vodka + lemonade, he had four or so in one night, and passed out on the couch during a movie. I mocked him for turning into a booze hound.Quote:
Originally Posted by Moon Rabbits
Most alcohol is definitely an acquired taste, but everyone can enjoy fruity mixed drinks.
Killer Kool-Aid is my favorite fruity mixed drink. Or pornstar shots. But nothing beats liquid cocaine or jack&coke~Quote:
Originally Posted by RaistlinA good friend of mine in college didn't drink, hated beer, and had never been drunk before. Over senior week, I introduced him to vodka + lemonade, he had four or so in one night, and passed out on the couch during a movie. I mocked him for turning into a booze hound.Quote:
Originally Posted by Moon Rabbits
Most alcohol is definitely an acquired taste, but everyone can enjoy fruity mixed drinks.
Hrm. Last night I had a forty of Miller Lite, a forty of King Cobra, and then three bottles of Bud Select. I overdid it a little bit.
Sailor Jerry is awesome.
I have no idea what half these drinks you're talking about are. I feel like Im missing out. :(