Engagement and Proposals.

The more friends and relatives I grew up with get married the more and more odd and isolated I've felt. Lately I've thought that maybe marriage just wasn't for me.

Until I saw this today:Engagement Rings Knuckle Duster - WEDINATOR - Funny Wedding Photos

I mean come on? Come ooooon. Someone has been spying on my dreams at night. Del Hannah would have a blast photographing that badboy for an engagement session.

What would be your "perfect" proposal/engagement? Or did it already happen? Would you screw with me in a dark alley knowing I was sporting that piece of art?

Dude, If someone proposed to me using that I'd slap them. Diamonds are overrated.

Now if they were emeralds... :love:

(SPOILER)Okay, the diamond Knuckle Duster is awesome.

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Originally Posted by NeoCracker

(SPOILER)Okay, the diamond Knuckle Duster is awesome.

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Cubic zirconia. Still, a wonderful art piece and a handy device nonetheless.

I am more of a fan of giving a [pearl necklace].

The perfect engagement is when the other party accepts the proposal. Stammer those lines, fumble for a ring, or whatever you do, but going home happy is the most important part.

I'm with Lynx here, anything that ends in a 'yes' would be the perfect proposal. Being a guy, I don't know what I'll do when I propose.

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Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon

Would you screw with me in a dark alley knowing I was sporting that piece of art?

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Definitely. :)

Engagements and proposals are pointless traditions that are just mindlessly followed (in this case, invented by diamond companies and gobbled up by the sheep masses). Surprise engagements are the worst of the worst; obviously this is a decision that should be made on a spur-of-the-moment emotional reaction, and the woman will swoon and have no choice but to accept as the man gets down on bended knee (remember: the man has to propose. Women are not capable of taking the lead). It makes me want to puke.

That being said, if you're going to go along with a farce, you might as well make it fun and interesting. The Knuckle Duster engagement ring is perfect for you, foa. And Lynx's pearl necklace actually made me laugh.

While I can't say I feel as strongly as Raist does about engagements, I would say that the idea of a surprise engagement is terrifying to me. I'd never marry someone or get engaged without seriously discussing it first, when we're going to, why we want to marry and then the smaller but still important issues such as how we would pay for it, etc. If someone did a surprise proposal on me without us discussing marriage first, I'd probably run away laughing.

On a related note, I already know which ring I want. I think this is a good side of being open about engagement, because I would never wear a ring I felt was ugly.

(A ring is something to be kept entirely seperate from the engagement though. I wouldn't turn someone down if I didn't like the ring. But I sure as hell wouldn't wear it and I am very open about that.)

The more I think about the subject the more strongly I agree with Wes.

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

Engagements and proposals are pointless traditions that are just mindlessly followed (in this case, forced on society by diamond companies and gobbled up by the sheep masses).

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diamond companies came to my house and now they're talking on the talkies help what do I do

Whip it out and wave it about, Paul! Quick!

"Forced" was a poor choice of words. :p "Invented" would be more accurate.

I am a fan of the man proposing. It's not that we aren't capable. We just want to sit back while you men do it. And I actually prefer the traditionalism regarding proposals and diamonds.

I can't imagine a perfect scenario - I would prefer to be surprised, but only after having had discussed marriage so we're both on the same page. I can, however, imagine a horrible proposal: a) in front of a huge crowd so you're expected to say yes or b) on a game scoreboard. No and no.

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Originally Posted by Rye

Whip it out and wave it about, Paul! Quick!

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Ummm :O sounds naughty.

And I don't like gold or diamonds. I want a wedding ring that stands out and won't look like everyone elses. Much like this:
http://demandware.edgesuite.net/aaar...03_471x314.jpg

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

"Forced" was a poor choice of words. :p "Invented" would be more accurate.

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"invented on society"? that doesn't make any sense :screwy:

I am a fan of the woman doing the housework. It's not that we aren't capable. We just want to sit back while you women do it. And I actually prefer the traditionalism regarding housework and cooking.

Don't forget taking care of babies and obeying her man. Important woman's work right there.

I prefer doing housework myself, because you men always screw it up so badly that just have to come clean it anyway. Same goes for cooking.

edit: This is not what I wanted out of my traditionalism comment. :colbert: Also, I will say that I dislike gold rings as well.

I second that motion. Besides, cooking is soothing to me

That is awesome.

GTA: Beverley Hills?

Almost 100% of brides I talk to when I ask about the proposal and whether or not they were surprised told me that they were surprised by when it happened, and how it happened, but not that it actually happened.

IE: They knew that a formal proposal was on the way but they didn't know that it would take place during class hours, in front of a room of 1st graders, and that Steve Young from the 49ers (bride's FAVORITE team) would walk in with a signed jersey and tell her that her boyfriend has a "very special question" to ask her. Or that it would happen in front of a freakin' castle while in France. etc. etc. A good friend of mine got engaged while on a surprise trip to Hawaii her boyfriend planned for her. She knew it was coming, but I'm sure it was still so much fun for her to go along with anyway.

So this idea that people are getting married in a, "oh, I never thought about this happening!" sort of way and that's the reason why you would turn up your nose at proposals is kinda... I dunno. That's not really how it happens in the real world as far as my experience goes. One of my most recent brides told me that she knew that the proposal was coming within the week, but didn't know the specific date.

I guess you can wonder why you need to make a big to do about a "formal" proposal when you've already had a thorough conversation about marriage. But what's wrong with having a little fun with grand gestures of love? Something out of the ordinary and beautiful and personal. It makes for a great story, that's for sure. And life should be full of great stories. I will never get sick of hearing proposal stories.

I always liked the idea of something big and fancy like that, but in reality, it's just not my thing. I'm not ooy-gooy and romantic like most girls are. In fact I'm not even sure how to be. I don't like dates, I don't like going to the movies, I don't like cuddling or holding hands (except with Anya :love:) And if put in a "romantic" situation I would probably just look like a crazy loser. Ravi told me once he was going to make a huge to-do about proposing in public and all that crap and I got really flustered and kinda angry at the idea because I would much rather it be personal and just the two of us.

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

I am a fan of the woman doing the housework. It's not that we aren't capable. We just want to sit back while you women do it. And I actually prefer the traditionalism regarding housework and cooking.

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Those sammiches aren't going to make themselves!

Remind me to kick you when we meet kthanks

If by 'kick' you mean, 'give you a sammich'.

The best place to propose to someone is in a bass drum. The best place for anything is in a bass drum. Put your cat in a bass drum. :)

On the beach where we went for our first date, under a full moon, on his knee.

Yes, it was pretty perfect.

No I mean kick as in kick you in the balls >:{

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Originally Posted by Melissaur

No I mean kick as in kick you in the balls >:{

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Or did you mean kick as in kick drum? Another name for a bass drum?

There's a Taco Bell hot sauce packet that says "Will you marry me?" on it for some reason, and my boyfriend threw it at my head and ran off. That's how I knew he was the one.

Proposals are pointless. So are rings. So are weddings. So is marriage.

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Originally Posted by Melissaur

No I mean kick as in kick you in the balls >:{

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No you don't.

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Originally Posted by Clo

Proposals are pointless. So are rings. So are weddings. So is marriage.

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Marry me.

(I couldn't resist the irony)

Everything is pointless, unless you give meaning to it.

In any case, I find weddings, marriage, and every other aspect of the ceremony to ideally be a way for two parties to express themselves as individuals and as a couple, intertwine their families (or friends), and their hopes for their union. I think it's quite lovely. Whether or not it becomes more about the bling and glitz than it is about the emotions and union is not the fault of the ceremony in and of itself.

Of course not. But the ceremony also doesn't add anything to it, in and of itself.

The fact that there even are such arbitrary ceremonies is centered, historically, around religion and god's approval, because without that then you couldn't have sex or start a family. I don't give a crap about religion, god, society, or anyone else thinks about my relationship, so it is meaningless.

Even more mind-boggling to me is that it is characterized as some sort of commitment, as if the relationship is not fully serious and legitimate until magic words are said over you -- man, you sure can't do that without really being serious! Again, this makes sense for the people who require god's or the church's approval (though that requirement doesn't, of course). But without that, why is it any sort of commitment? The decision to move in together, to buy a house together, to have kids together: those are commitments, which as far as I'm concerned are what deserve celebration. Besides, any couple who hasn't already committed to each other by the time the magic words are said over them is in a very immature relationship.

I am not saying that the emotions involved are not valuable and shouldn't be recognized and even celebrated. My objection is to the requirements of the modern form of that celebration, and to the meaning society gives to what is really an arbitrary event.

I can only conclude that so many people continue to value this primitive, superstitious view of marriage because they are brainwashed from birth that it is valuable. The worst offense, of course, is that it is considered so valuable that the government has to take a hand in it, to define and regulate it. But that is another topic.

Well, yeah. Ideally, it's about just a celebration of commitment and union, not sudden commitment and union. The bastardization of these ideals have nothing to do with the ceremony (which is a loose term anyway, as there are so MANY kind of ceremonies, from huge family religious gatherings of the types you are talking about, to small secular personal celebrations among friends and peers), but rather to do with the people who participate in them.

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Originally Posted by Miriel

I guess you can wonder why you need to make a big to do about a "formal" proposal when you've already had a thorough conversation about marriage. But what's wrong with having a little fun with grand gestures of love? Something out of the ordinary and beautiful and personal. It makes for a great story, that's for sure. And life should be full of great stories. I will never get sick of hearing proposal stories.

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This is what I think, as well. I don't know a single friend who has been "proposed to" (and I know both males and females, actually) that hasn't already discussed wanting to be married and have already committed to one another. Of course that commitment is more important than the actual engagement or proposal. The proposal is more of a story to tell. It has the same value as any other shared event or memory that is special for the couple.

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Originally Posted by Clo

There's a Taco Bell hot sauce packet that says "Will you marry me?" on it for some reason, and my boyfriend threw it at my head and ran off. That's how I knew he was the one.

Proposals are pointless. So are rings. So are weddings. So is marriage.

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I'm such a study in conflict on this. I like symbols. I don't think I want an engagement ring, ever, unless the other person has one too. It feels too much like a claim to me. I don't want to be claimed.

Even so, my great-grandmother left her wedding set to me when she died. For a long time I left them in a jewelry box because I didn't want anything bad to happen to them. I got older, I went through things, and I thought a lot about their commitments to each other. I haven't seen a single successful relationship since theirs, in my family. I wear her wedding set now, just to remind myself that anything worth doing takes devotion and hard work. Do I need the rings to remind myself of that? Nah. But it's nice to be surprised by that reminder.

BUT I WANT THOSE KNUCKLE DUSTERS SO BAD. If I ever meet someone I want to spend forever with, I'm going to send him to you guys and you'll give him notes and remind him, right? Right. Good.

Holy smurf this thread is annoying. Shut the smurf up already.

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Originally Posted by Bunny

Holy smurf this thread is annoying. Shut the smurf up already.

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How exactly is it annoying?

Several people consistently whining and insisting that a certain ceremony here or there is pointless is pretty damn annoying. If you don't like it, that's cool, but insisting that it is absolutely pointless is pretty much missing the entire point, seeing as each wedding ceremony or engagement can be, and should be, tailored to the people that are having it. Last time I checked there isn't a list of rules of what a wedding can, should, or must be.

Apparently we're committing the mortal sin of discussing an issue he doesn't care about. How terrible of us.

Yeah, okay.

That's what my post was.

Am in agreement with Bunny and I think you are missing his point.

I think the main annoyance here is that there is serious type casting of the very large category of "Wedding Ceremony" into that one specific contrived/shallow/traditional/whatever ceremony where the man always takes the initiative, the woman is always the blushing virgin bride, etc. That's so not what it's like and you're ignoring an enormous culture of marriage that turns their back on the traditions they dislike and creates a ceremony to represent themselves and their families. They acknowledge wedding doesn't equal COMMITMENT FOREVER, but rather is a celebration amongst loved ones.

Highly recommend Offbeatbride.com, which is a really cool website about all types of different ceremonies. LGBT weddings, women proposing to men, huge ceremonies, private ceremonies, gender-queer ceremonies, secular ceremonies, geek culture, etc. It's about molding your wedding into whatever ceremony you choose to represent your identity. To push all of those type of ceremonies into one "pointless" label is fairly presumptuous.

Links:

Proposing to your Boyfriend

Gender-Neutral Renaissance Fair Wedding

Californian Secular Feminist Casual Wedding

To me a wedding is just as much for the public as it is for the couple. Most people don't take others' relationships seriously if the couple isn't wearing rings. To some, a lack of a wedding ring means single and available, no matter how committed the relationship is.

Also, as long as it doesn't involve the possibility of anybody accidentally swallowing the ring or something, a proposal is good.

Apparently you both missed my point, including where I explicitly stated that I was only talking about the common, modern wedding:

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Originally Posted by me

I am not saying that the emotions involved are not valuable and shouldn't be recognized and even celebrated. My objection is to the requirements of the modern form of that celebration, and to the meaning society gives to what is really an arbitrary event.

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I was not, never have, and never will say all possible forms of any type of ceremony are pointless, and putting that argument in my mouth is rather ridiculous. I was defining marriage and wedding to have their standard, common meaning and practice.

However, I still think it is an interesting question: why is there something called a wedding at all? Why is an arbitrary date where some people decide that they're really really serious (instead of just really serious) more significant than, say, buying a house together or deciding to have kids? I do think there are far more meaningful forms of commitment that are more worth celebrating.

Rye, you posted from OBB! :love: Best site ever. It has some articles on secular weddings that I found useful, and decided I didn't have to cater to the wants of my mostly Mormon family.

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However, I still think it is an interesting question: why is there something called a wedding at all? Why is an arbitrary date where some people decide that they're really really serious (instead of just really serious) more significant than, say, buying a house together or deciding to have kids? I do think there are far more meaningful forms of commitment that are more worth celebrating.

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Because people, shockingly, have opinions on things that may differ from yours.

Durrrrr. Very convincing explanation. My point was that I was interested in asking why so many people hold that opinion. Is it just tradition? That's all I can come up with, but I also don't think that by itself would be a strong enough force to make so many people believe in it so strongly.

Really, if you don't want to discuss something, why bother posting at all? O_o For someone whining about not considering other opinions, you seem awfully unwilling to tolerate any sort of criticism on this issue.

I wasn't saying my glib little comment absolutely. I meant in my little world, anyhow. This is all subjective, obviously. I just don't take any of it very seriously. I'm sorry if I touched a nerve, Bunny.

I am sort of engaged right now. I've been with someone for three years, and we have slowly generated the opinion that marrying would be a good thing for the both of us. We make funny proposals to each other all the time, and explore absurd wedding ceremonies we can have because neither of us care too much about that. We're mainly interested in marriage because of the taxes/social aspect to it and because of what it would symbolize to our families more specifically. We both don't take marriage very seriously in our lives, but explore the options out there because it's fun and useful on a financial level.

Actually, I'm often not sure about the engagement question. I believe I'm engaged, because I'm planning to get married within two years to someone I've been with for a long time, I have locations I want to have the wedding (party!) at, and I even have a friend who is going to fulfill my every non-conventional and zany whim regarding the wedding party. I just don't have a ring, because I don't want one. Every time he suggests he has a desire to buy me one I tell him to stop being silly. I feel like because I don't have a ring, however, many people don't take the fact that I believe I'm engaged very seriously. And so I think: smurf them.

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Originally Posted by Clo

I feel like because I don't have a ring, however, many people don't take the fact that I believe I'm engaged very seriously. And so I think: smurf them.

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This is the main reason this issue bugs me at all. Some people believe if you don't follow their rituals, your relationship isn't very serious. You're right to dismiss them, but I can see that being annoying.

Perfect proposal right here.

Take your girl to a nice restaurant.

Get the band to play your song.

Let her order whatever she wants.

When the food comes turn your cap backwards. Did I forget to add that you should be wearing a cap? Well you should be.

As they set the food down stand up and, in front of the whole restaurant, scream "I CHOOSE YOU!" while simultaneously throwing a pokeball with the ring in it as hard as you can at her.

What happens next really depends on the ring in the thing you just smashed into the side of her head. :/

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Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

Perfect proposal right here.

Take your girl to a nice restaurant.

Get the band to play your song.

Let her order whatever she wants.

When the food comes turn your cap backwards. Did I forget to add that you should be wearing a cap? Well you should be.

As they set the food down stand up and, in front of the whole restaurant, scream "I CHOOSE YOU!" while simultaneously throwing a pokeball with the ring in it as hard as you can at her.

What happens next really depends on the ring in the thing you just smashed into the side of her head. :/

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Jesus! XD

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Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

Perfect proposal right here.

Take your girl to a nice restaurant.

Get the band to play your song.

Let her order whatever she wants.

When the food comes turn your cap backwards. Did I forget to add that you should be wearing a cap? Well you should be.

As they set the food down stand up and, in front of the whole restaurant, scream "I CHOOSE YOU!" while simultaneously throwing a pokeball with the ring in it as hard as you can at her.

What happens next really depends on the ring in the thing you just smashed into the side of her head. :/

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The rock would have to be pretty big to make up for the black eye. :colbert:

People put a lot of stock in the ceremony because they want to show off, and let everyone know they are together and serious. Mostly they want to show off.

I'm not saying that you are together to show off your partner, but having one and being serious and happy about it, why not show it off? It's not like this is a bad thing. :p

At least that and tradition are the two reasons that make sense to me.

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Originally Posted by Clo

We're mainly interested in marriage because of the taxes/social aspect to it and because of what it would symbolize to our families more specifically. We both don't take marriage very seriously in our lives, but explore the options out there because it's fun and useful on a financial level.

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If there ever is a good reason to get married, it is to get a tax break.

Semi-relevant?

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleim...asic101110.gif

(Mainly, my issue is that men don't get to have muttonchops like Prince Albert to match the woman's wedding dress in the style of Queen Vicky.)

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Originally Posted by Shorty

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Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

Perfect proposal right here.

Take your girl to a nice restaurant.

Get the band to play your song.

Let her order whatever she wants.

When the food comes turn your cap backwards. Did I forget to add that you should be wearing a cap? Well you should be.

As they set the food down stand up and, in front of the whole restaurant, scream "I CHOOSE YOU!" while simultaneously throwing a pokeball with the ring in it as hard as you can at her.

What happens next really depends on the ring in the thing you just smashed into the side of her head. :/

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The rock would have to be pretty big to make up for the black eye. :colbert:

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The bigger the rock the worse the concussion. I'd be doing her a big favor if it was a little stone. :D

I love that comic! I hate the words girlfriend and boyfriend because I tend to call my girl friends and boy friends that. Words suck.

All I know with the "ceremony" is that it won't be a ceremony. No vows, definitely no white dress, no priest, most certainly no aisle, no rings, no brides maids, no groomsmen, no father walking anyone anywhere, hardly any family, no white wedding cake (but there will be some smurfing cake... would have to be vegan cake...), and lots of alcohol and music and dancing. :jess: And it most certainly won't be the "best day of my life" because that would suck, I'd still be in my early to middle 20s. I am definitely expecting to have an onslaught of better days in the next twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years.

Anyway, it all seems like a great excuse to put together a very long-lasting party.

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

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Originally Posted by Clo

I feel like because I don't have a ring, however, many people don't take the fact that I believe I'm engaged very seriously. And so I think: smurf them.

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This is the main reason this issue bugs me at all. Some people believe if you don't follow their rituals, your relationship isn't very serious. You're right to dismiss them, but I can see that being annoying.

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I don't think it means your relationship isn't serious, it just doesn't mean that you're married.

Also, I would think that people who don't take the whole ceremony side of it seriously would do it more often, not oppose it. If you think it's such a stupid trifle then why not get married at a city hall the next time you're in a relationship and then enjoy all the tax benefits?

Going to a judge to get the certificate signed does not require any ceremony. :p And I agree, it should be taken less seriously. Though one consideration is that the government intervention into the relationship also makes it much MORE difficult to split up, so I don't think even I would treat the choice so simply.

EDIT: Also, for the record, I approve of Clo's "wedding" plans. That is the only way I could see going along with the whole farce at all. If the parents at the reception do not have a look of shock and horror when the party and music starts, you're doing it wrong.

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Originally Posted by eternal essence

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

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Originally Posted by Clo

I feel like because I don't have a ring, however, many people don't take the fact that I believe I'm engaged very seriously. And so I think: smurf them.

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This is the main reason this issue bugs me at all. Some people believe if you don't follow their rituals, your relationship isn't very serious. You're right to dismiss them, but I can see that being annoying.

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I don't think it means your relationship isn't serious, it just doesn't mean that you're married.

Also, I would think that people who don't take the whole ceremony side of it seriously would do it more often, not oppose it. If you think it's such a stupid trifle then why not get married at a city hall the next time you're in a relationship and then enjoy all the tax benefits?

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Wait, so not having a ring would mean I wasn't married?

I think this is just a semantic disagreement over what "marriage" means (and also demonstrates another problem with the government being able to enforce their own arbitrary definition; see gay marriage). The issue Clo and I have is that the perspective of many people is that if you aren't "married" according to their definition, then your relationship isn't serious. You might not see it that way, but a lot of people do.

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Originally Posted by Clo

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Originally Posted by eternal essence

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

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Originally Posted by Clo

I feel like because I don't have a ring, however, many people don't take the fact that I believe I'm engaged very seriously. And so I think: smurf them.

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This is the main reason this issue bugs me at all. Some people believe if you don't follow their rituals, your relationship isn't very serious. You're right to dismiss them, but I can see that being annoying.

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I don't think it means your relationship isn't serious, it just doesn't mean that you're married.

Also, I would think that people who don't take the whole ceremony side of it seriously would do it more often, not oppose it. If you think it's such a stupid trifle then why not get married at a city hall the next time you're in a relationship and then enjoy all the tax benefits?

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Wait, so not having a ring would mean I wasn't married?

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Not being married would mean you weren't married.

I also don't think having a ring means your engaged either, maybe when you set a date then it would be closer to being engaged to be married. Anything else I would simply class under 'committed'.

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Originally Posted by Clo

I love that comic! I hate the words girlfriend and boyfriend because I tend to call my girl friends and boy friends that. Words suck.

All I know with the "ceremony" is that it won't be a ceremony. No vows, definitely no white dress, no priest, most certainly no aisle, no rings, no brides maids, no groomsmen, no father walking anyone anywhere, hardly any family, no white wedding cake (but there will be some smurfing cake... would have to be vegan cake...), and lots of alcohol and music and dancing. :jess: And it most certainly won't be the "best day of my life" because that would suck, I'd still be in my early to middle 20s. I am definitely expecting to have an onslaught of better days in the next twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years.

Anyway, it all seems like a great excuse to put together a very long-lasting party.

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How am I supposed to awkwardly and drunkenly voice my objection if there's no "wedding"?

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

How am I supposed to awkwardly and drunkenly voice my objection if there's no "wedding"?

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That one's easy enough. You and me, what we'll do is we'll pay a friendly visit to the gentleman in question. Some duct tape, the trunk of a car, and a long drive out into the desert should see him right. Pair of shovels, too, just in case we happen to take a wrong turn down accidental head trauma avenue.

I don't really care if she gets married, mind you. I'm only in on this because I don't think you and I spend enough time with each other anymore and I think it'd be a good bonding experience. :shobon:

D'awww, that's so sweet, Paul. I'm in, we'll be a two-man wolf pack.

I approve of this male bonding experience, however counterproductive it may be for my future plans.

It would certainly be a wicked story to tell later.

I like weddings. It gives me an excuse to dress up and I love playing dress up. There is just a certain enjoyment out of spinning in a dress and it going flooff around you :D

If my SO proposed to me in some Harry potter themed way i'd definitely say yes.

My only problem with anti-wedding people is that I feel bad referring to someone they area really committed to as just their boyfriend/girlfriend. If they're as committed as someone who went through a marriage ceremony of some sort, boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't seem like a serious enough label. Which means I'm getting caught up on labels, which makes me annoyed with myself, but boyfriend/girlfriend just doesn't feel serious enough and "partner" feels awkward.

I liked on Grey's Anatomy, when the main characters signed a Post It in the locker room and that was their wedding. It doesn't have to be anything major, and I don't see rings as necessary (mine is pretty, but BJ doesn't wear one 'cause he's got skelefingers).

Basically, a marriage starts, from my perspective, when two people seriously say "it's us, together, for the rest of our lives, starting... now." At that point the other person is your husband or wife, no matter who else was there to witness the moment, whether or not you signed anything, whether or not you have rings. Though I think it really strengthens that commitment to go through some type of ceremony, and to declare it in front of friends and family and stuff. I think it's reasonable that people find it easier to take such a commitment seriously when the couple has put effort into making a big deal out of their declaration, though that doesn't excuse buttholes who refuse to accept any less than all the hoopla.

And that is my fresh-out-of-bed ramble for the day.

LOL I love that scene in Grey's Anatomy.

I will be very clear on this: I got married for two things. One was to put up with my wife's mother; when visiting her family, we could not stay in the same room because it was "unchaste" and all that malarkey. She wanted us married and suddenly everything was great, even though she loved me before I was a son-in-law and I was practically family before then. The other reason was more pertinent: tax break! I like paying less money for doing something I am already doing, id est living with the girl I love. I love practical benefits.

We did not have any proposals. We had been living together for three years or so before we mutually decided putting up with the farce that is marriage benefited us enough financially to be hypocritical. We took our time getting to it. One week we bought plain white-gold bands for the symbolism. The next week we went down to the county clerk's office to get our license so we could get married. And then everything went crazy. At the final bit where we were getting our license validated, a nosy clerk kept on asking us how soon we were getting married. I started off by saying maybe sometime in the month, she asked maybe that week, I said possibly, and then she said HEY YOU KNOW THIS JUDGE KEEPS TWO HOURS OPEN EVERY FRIDAY FOR WALK-IN MARRIAGES HOW ABOUT NOW? And while I was about to tell her to shut the heck up, my to-be-wife said HELL YEAH. So we got our license, and on the elevator down, we phoned everyone we locally knew, we drove home for better clothes (we were out in laundry day clothes), and met our witnesses in the court lobby. Ten minutes later, we went out for drinks at a nearby restaurant and took pictures outdoors in a picturesque part of town. I have no idea where our certificate went; it probably lies crumpled in the bottom of some file box.

I only told this story because I do not think marriages, should they be suffered, need not pomp and anyone who wants to force their ideals upon your marriage or lack thereof can shut up. Oh, and her mother died, so I no longer need to humor that woman's particular hang-ups. That is the moral of this story.

I don't really think people are taken less serious if they aren't actually married. I would take a couple who's been dating for seven years just as serious as a couple who's been married for seven years. An official, licensed marriage is simply just a legal way to recognize it. And who the hell doesn't want a huge party to celebrate that you've actually recognized that you want to spend the rest of your lives together?

The best thing about weddings and marriages is that they are unique to the individuals who are in them. Yes, the norm is a church wedding with a pastor. Yes, the norm is to sign a certificate. Yes, the norm is a white dress. But you don't need all that if you're just ready to announce that you want to spend your life with one other person.

I will be having a secular wedding, and I will be wearing a black dress. You are all invited to see how awesome I'll look.

http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m...rryballoon.jpg

Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase!

If I have a big wedding that I invite people to, I am going to exclude anyone that tells me weddings are dumb and I don't need one. No party and free food for those losers :colbert:

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Originally Posted by Jessweeee♪

If I have a big wedding that I invite people to, I am going to exclude anyone that tells me weddings are dumb and I don't need one. No party and free food for those losers :colbert:

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You tell 'em!

I love weddings, free food, free booze, and dancing. :cool:

My friend told all of us guys that he was going to propose to his then gf.

The thing was, most of us already knew he was going to propose to his then gf, because said gf had already told everybody she was going to be engaged. Because she bullied him into proposing to her, and then they went ring shopping for a ring she liked.

Basically the entire thing was just not romantic. Also if you haven't figured it out, you are too nice to call her a gold digger. It's okay I said it for you. Also if you are still having doubts because I hate women or something, she made him get her a second engagement ring.

I personally like multi stone classic style.

Clickies:
http://www.spencediamonds.com/sites/...files/0612.jpg

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Originally Posted by Peegee

she made him get her a second engagement ring.

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What the smurf. What a bitch.

This can be my wedding ring. :kaoclove:

Or maybe this. :kaoclove:

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Originally Posted by Shlup

Basically, a marriage starts, from my perspective, when two people seriously say "it's us, together, for the rest of our lives, starting... now." At that point the other person is your husband or wife, no matter who else was there to witness the moment, whether or not you signed anything, whether or not you have rings. Though I think it really strengthens that commitment to go through some type of ceremony, and to declare it in front of friends and family and stuff. I think it's reasonable that people find it easier to take such a commitment seriously when the couple has put effort into making a big deal out of their declaration, though that doesn't excuse buttholes who refuse to accept any less than all the hoopla.

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I agree with all of that.

I've been with my girlfriend for so long and we're so comfortable around each other that we might as well be married. We talk about about getting married sometime down the track super-casually now and we've both pretty much accepted that at some point, I'm going to formally propose.

Frankly, I can't wait to get married. Not because I think marriage is what makes our committment to each other real, but just because it looks like fun (expensive, expensive fun). So what if it's, in the end, a meaningless social norm? I like the idea of having a singular moment preserved in our history as a couple that I can look back on as a day that was all about us.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Peegee

she made him get her a second engagement ring.

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What the smurf. What a bitch.

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I think she's very awesome. We can talk about the most shallow topics. But I see what you mean; I would never date her seriously, and we all look at poor [guy's name] with pity.

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Originally Posted by Peegee

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Peegee

she made him get her a second engagement ring.

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What the smurf. What a bitch.

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I think she's very awesome. We can talk about the most shallow topics. But I see what you mean; I would never date her seriously, and we all look at poor [guy's name] with pity.

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I remember the topic of "second engagement rings" coming up on a radio show I listen to. It happens more often than you'd think. The usual scenario plays out like this; boy gives girl engagement ring, girl loves ring, girl compares ring to friend's engagement ring, not big enough, new ring plz.

I'd tell the bitch to go smurf herself.

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Originally Posted by Mo-Nercy

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Originally Posted by Peegee

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Peegee

she made him get her a second engagement ring.

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What the smurf. What a bitch.

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I think she's very awesome. We can talk about the most shallow topics. But I see what you mean; I would never date her seriously, and we all look at poor [guy's name] with pity.

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I remember the topic of "second engagement rings" coming up on a radio show I listen to. It happens more often than you'd think. The usual scenario plays out like this; boy gives girl engagement ring, girl loves ring, girl compares ring to friend's engagement ring, not big enough, new ring plz.

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That's why pic related.

I'll never have that problem. inb4 you will never get married pg nobody loves you T___T

http://i56.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:...u:/2h34jdi.jpg

There are rings that cost $10,000!?

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Originally Posted by Marshall Banana

There are rings that cost $10,000!?

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Yeah. They are awesome.

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Originally Posted by Marshall Banana

There are rings that cost $10,000!?

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http://www.baseinchina.com/up_files/...rry-Brooch.jpg

But, uh, with diamonds and as a ring?

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Originally Posted by Marshall Banana

There are rings that cost $10,000!?

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http://www.spencediamonds.com/sites/...files/2111.jpg

17000$

seriously I don't see the big deal about those rings. They aren't aesthetic to my tastes.

I couldn't stand the idea of having anything worth $10,000 on my person. I don't even wear my engagement ring when I'm going somewhere ghetto.

My engagement ring was less than 100 dollars. It's silver with a white topaz to make it look like a diamond xD I'm a pretty cheap date

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Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

I couldn't stand the idea of having anything worth $10,000 on my person. I don't even wear my engagement ring when I'm going somewhere ghetto.

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Did you wear your ring around pg?

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Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

I couldn't stand the idea of having anything worth $10,000 on my person. I don't even wear my engagement ring when I'm going somewhere ghetto.

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Seriously if you get a 10grand engagement ring your husband doesn't need that money. Otherwise it's better spent as a down payment on a house or something.

I expect to not go over 5 grand unless I get a huge raise. [I'm saying I wouldn't need to go over 5g]

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Originally Posted by Bunny

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Originally Posted by Marshall Banana

There are rings that cost $10,000!?

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http://www.baseinchina.com/up_files/...rry-Brooch.jpg

But, uh, with diamonds and as a ring?

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Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Yeeahh, rings are nice, but they're just hunks of metal really. I wouldn't want a giant 50k ring, just something that will last, because I want to wear it forever. So super cheap metal would not be ideal, but I don't need fifty diamonds on it.

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Originally Posted by Peegee

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Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

I couldn't stand the idea of having anything worth $10,000 on my person. I don't even wear my engagement ring when I'm going somewhere ghetto.

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Seriously if you get a 10grand engagement ring your husband doesn't need that money. Otherwise it's better spent as a down payment on a house or something.

I expect to not go over 5 grand unless I get a huge raise. [I'm saying I wouldn't need to go over 5g]

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What's the rule, 3 months salary? If the dude can pull that off, whatever, it's not like he couldn't also do the down payment idea.

Yeah I'm definitely not that BUY ME A GIANT PIECE OF ROCK girl. I don't even know that I'd go look at engagement rings even if he would wear one. Definitely would want to pick out wedding bands though.

Years ago the sales lady at Tiffanys put a $70,000 ring on my finger.

It' one of those sales techniques. Show you something with an outrageous price so that a $5,000 ring suddenly seems much more reasonable. But I was wise to her game!

I can't even picture a $70k ring. I don't think I could lift it.

A $70k ring better blow you when you buy it. And forever.

1) I don't actually like enormous rocks on a ring. I have short stumpy fingers so an enormous rock on my hand would make me look like an old Italian grandmother.
2) Most styles of engagement rings are actually quite ugly to me.
3) I wouldn't mind buying myself my ring, if I had to.
4) I already picked out this ring and it's not terribly expensive as far as engagement rings are concerned. It's called the Tiffany Flower. It is actually fairly low in actually CTs which I like, because as I said, I hate hulking rocks. It has a pretty design and it's unique.

http://www.fashionfuss.com/wp-conten...ent-ring-1.jpg

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Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

I can't even picture a $70k ring. I don't think I could lift it.

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It doesn't have to be because of a giant ugly diamond (I think diamond size has diminishing returns) - it could just be a lot of very well cut smaller diamonds and an expensive band.

But who am I kidding it's 70k

Size doesn't factor into the cost as much as you'd think it could. A 1 caret diamond with a higher cut/color/clarity can be worth 5 times as much as a 2 caret diamond of less quality. You could have two diamonds exactly the same size and one can be triple the cost as the other. Caret is important, but apparently the order of importance goes: Cut > Color > Caret > Clarity.

Honestly though, I've had people show me two diamonds of different cut/color/clarity and they go, "you can really see the difference right?" and I'm like, "... not really". Cause you seriously can't tell much of a difference unless you're looking at two diamonds at COMPLETELY the opposite spectrum from each other. So in the end, if you're all about the bling, it's better to go with a bigger caret cause no one is even going to notice the other stuff.

ArtCarved - Matching Products my dream engagement band and wedding ring <3

I don't like yellow gold. White gold is fine, silver is good too. :D