Finally, girls can play video games

Now I know there are (allegedly) some female posters on this video game message board. I know you pretend to like video games with guns and magic and puzzles, but you don't have to pretend anymore. There's a new computer game just for you, and it's all about being a good little girl in the real world!

It's so realistic! These are the sort of things you have to accomplish in this game:

-dye your hair
-go shopping at the mall
-cook
-get a boyfriend who will give you money (because women working? lol)
-maintain your weight in an "ideal range"

And you "level up" by completing such arduous challenges as buying stuff, changing your clothes, and flirting.

I might have to check it out. I've always wondered what it's like to be a girl. I'm sure this game will be very informative.

Is it just me, or is kotaku completely unreadable?
-edit-
I can read it now, and I am totally downloading this game.

It's things like this that really make a good Friday into a great Friday. I love it.

There needs to be a male version where you gain levels by:

-working out
-masturbating
-channel surfing until you find a sporting event (if you end up on golf and manage to keep your character awake for the first hour then you get bonus exp)
-playing video games (you have to push the right buttons to make sure he pushes the right buttons, it's ingenious!)
-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
-going to bars
-picking up girls at bars (text selector for your pickup lines)
-getting girlfriends (experience points increase exponentially the more girlfriends you have at once)
-'going all the way' with your girlfriends and then ignoring them as much as possible afterwards
-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

FINALLY, something to play inbetween Alpha Centauri, Civilization IV, X-Com UFO Defense, Europa Universalis 3 and Hearts of Iron II!

THANKS LADY POPULAR!

Oh god take cover the combined rage of Miriel, foa, rubah, and Shlup is going to take out half of the continental United States.

e:

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)

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Jesus Christ if you make that a condition then Steve's character would grow so strong he would gain real-world powers from it. (SPOILER)he still wouldn't get laid though :smug:

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-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

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To be fair this is actually a pretty core conceit of being a man and I would be more offended by a game that omitted it.

This sounds awful. *downloads*

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

There needs to be a male version where you gain levels by:

-working out
-masturbating
-channel surfing until you find a sporting event (if you end up on golf and manage to keep your character awake for the first hour then you get bonus exp)
-playing video games (you have to push the right buttons to make sure he pushes the right buttons, it's ingenious!)
-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
-going to bars
-picking up girls at bars (text selector for your pickup lines)
-getting girlfriends (experience points increase exponentially the more girlfriends you have at once)
-'going all the way' with your girlfriends and then ignoring them as much as possible afterwards
-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

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I would play the trout out of that game.

Ironically, playing with tits is one of the major quests of the game.

I'll take ten!

As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.

:confused:

I ranted at length about it.

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Originally Posted by Shiny

As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.

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...But some girls are adorable with pigtails. :cry:

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Originally Posted by NeoCracker

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Originally Posted by Shiny

As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.

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...But some girls are adorable with pigtails. :cry:

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Like Chiyo-chan.

But even Chiyo-chan is mad at this game.

http://animeholicph.files.wordpress....chan-angry.jpg

Her pigtails are detachable though, so I'm not sure they're real.

girls, u mad?

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

There needs to be a male version where you gain levels by:

-working out
-masturbating
-channel surfing until you find a sporting event (if you end up on golf and manage to keep your character awake for the first hour then you get bonus exp)
-playing video games (you have to push the right buttons to make sure he pushes the right buttons, it's ingenious!)
-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
-going to bars
-picking up girls at bars (text selector for your pickup lines)
-getting girlfriends (experience points increase exponentially the more girlfriends you have at once)
-'going all the way' with your girlfriends and then ignoring them as much as possible afterwards
-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

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You can actually do a lot of that in Persona 3/4 and Catherine. Though I now realize that eating processed cheese is a terrible ommission that has now destroyed my ability to recognize these games as good. Its just that important in a man's life :colbert:

Okay bumping this because I want to see just HOW MAD some of these girls on our forum will get.

Isn't there even a slight chance that this game is actually a parody game?

Far too many games lack that "remove clothes" option. :colbert:

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Oh god take cover the combined rage of Miriel, foa, rubah, and Shlup is going to take out half of the continental United States.

e:

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

-going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)

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Jesus Christ if you make that a condition then Steve's character would grow so strong he would gain real-world powers from it. (SPOILER)he still wouldn't get laid though :smug:

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-eating as much processed cheese food as you can

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To be fair this is actually a pretty core conceit of being a man and I would be more offended by a game that omitted it.

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I'm getting laid more often than you and thats for sure. No no, don't claim otherwise Hux, your girlfriend lives in the continental united states. :smug:

(SPOILER)Sorry Pike but he had to get had

Steve I have at one point in my life had intercourse.

This is more than you will ever have intercourse.

Jizzing all over your family's fridge does not count as intercourse.

NECKBEARD SHOWDOWN??

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...al/popcorn.jpg

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Originally Posted by Pike

NECKBEARD SHOWDOWN??

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...al/popcorn.jpg

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Best post ever :lol:

Yeah well last week I totally held a girls hand for while

I'm not paying a smurfing stipend. This is why I snagged a girl who will pay the bills for me while I blow my cash on whatever the smurf I want :jess:

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

Finally, girls can play video games

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We're giving them permission?! Next you know they'll want the vote :@

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Okay bumping this because I want to see just HOW MAD some of these girls on our forum will get.

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I dunno, when something is as over the top stupid as this, it's hard to work up a frenzy. It's just too out there to really give a damn.

To be honest, this bothers me less than forum members calling female game characters "bitch" and other such seemingly minor but still disconcerting things that ping my sexism/misogyny radar.

Hey now, twas all in good fun Miriel. If it bothers you too much I can gladly edit it out for you.

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Originally Posted by Vivi22

Hey now, twas all in good fun Miriel. If it bothers you too much I can gladly edit it out for you.

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I think that's part of the issue, the casual joking nature of calling a rather beloved fictional female character as a bitch. I'm not eloquent enough to go into the reasons why the casualness of it was the disconcerting part.

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Originally Posted by Miriel

I think that's part of the issue, the casual joking nature of calling a rather beloved fictional female character as a bitch.

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You should hear what I say about the beloved fictional male characters.

To be clear, the word bitch itself doesn't raise my eyebrows, especially considering how common the usage is these days, without any sexist overtones. I use it, other people on this forum use it, people use it jokingly or seriously, in glee or anger or pride and that's all fine. Examples:

Britney Spears: "It's Britney, bitch"
Tina Fey: "Bitches get it done"
General, commonly used phrases: "hurts like a bitch" "bitch, please" "son of a bitch"

Whether or not a word is offensive is almost always situational.

In this situation it was used as part of a statement declaring that a female character, a bitch, unequivocally lost a contest. When the word is used casually in that kind of context, it makes me do a double take. Much more than an outrageously sexist video game that most people consider to be ridiculous.

:|

What exactly is wrong with that context?

Because in that context, the word "bitch" is used as a derisive synonym for a female who has apparently done two things, 1) lost a contest and two) is female.

It was not used in an ironic way or general way. It literally was used in place of the word, "She". The word bitch, while being appropriated for uses beyond that of a slur against woman, or reclaimed by women themselves, cannot always be casually used as a synonym for female pronouns by males without there being an undercurrent of misogyny. And what's worse, is that many people will not even "get" it.

And I brought this up because MILF seemed gleeful at the idea of me or foa/rubah/shlup exploding in rage at something overt and ridiculous, when it's far more frustrating when men display casual sexism without even realizing it. At least from my perspective.

It's wrong because it implies that it is perfectly reasonable to refer to a girl as a bitch in casual conversation.

Imagine the reverse, that Snake had lost that contest, and the quote was 'asshole still lost'. Would that have raised more eyebrows? Maybe not, but I think that's mostly because there is no equivalent to 'bitch' for males.

So imagine instead that Snake defeated Barrett. Do you see the issue now?

Yeah I just like seeing girls get mad :shobon:

I think part of the issue is that tone (specifically my tone, not to mention my body language and general insanity) don't carry well over the internet. Like I said though, if you want me to edit it out of that post just say the word. There was certainly nothing misogynystic or sexist intended by it, but let it not be said that I'm not sensitive to the concerns of other members here.

Or at least the short list of members I like and respect. :)

I'm not disagreeing with Miriel and I think her point is a particularly valid one. Just want to say that before I say anything that could make me look like an idiot.

It seemed to me like Vivi22 was using the word in the same general context as the examples listed earlier. It wasn't so much casual misogyny as the word has just become a common "pronoun" substitute. There are examples here in Aus of the same thing with even more serious expletives.

Anyway.

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Yeah I just like seeing girls get mad :shobon:

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You bitch.

Yeah, I don't see any difference between Vivi22's use and Del's use here -- as an obvious joke. The use of "bitch" as a female-exclusive insult as a symptom of a misogynist culture is a valid point to make, but attacking it in this context is just silly -- and futile. The more light-heartedly the word is commonly used, the less power it has anyway (see: the word "gay").

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

So imagine instead that Snake defeated Barrett. Do you see the issue now?

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I'd still be inclined to say "bitch lost".

Well, I happen to have an interdimensional time machine and when I went back in time to another dimension where that indeed was the scenario, you actually said something quite different and much more offensive. Also your name was Gary.

Eww, clearly I have issues in that dimension.

And that's different to here how?

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

Also your name was Gary.

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QUESTION.

If NCG was Gary, who was Ash? And who was Professor Oak?

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Originally Posted by Pike

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

Also your name was Gary.

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QUESTION.

If NCG was Gary, who was Ash? And who was Professor Oak?

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You were Oak. And, as usual, you can't even remember your own grandson!

Erm, what was the topic again?

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Originally Posted by Vivi22

There was certainly nothing misogynystic or sexist intended by it, but let it not be said that I'm not sensitive to the concerns of other members here.

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Shut up! I demand to take offence!