I have a question for the Men

I saw this bulletin on Myspace that stereotype'd pretty well and I was wondering how many guys could actually back some of these 'rules' up. Just for the future knowledge of woman kind everywhere. :razz:

Quote:

---

Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

---

Any guys to back atleast one of these up? Maybe with a funny story or something? :D
:heart:

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

This one is the best. Some of the rest are true, but I can't say that for all of them.

Quote:

---

We have no idea what mauve is

---

Yeah what the hell's up with mauve?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Avarice-ness

Quote:

---

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

---

---

All very true.

I agree :D

That was one of the most true and completely accurate list ever. I applaud who ever wrote it.

I especially like the itch/scratch rule. ^^

Trust a man to waste time writing out a useless list :(

Useless? >.>

Your just sad cause it's all true. <.<

Scratch rule FTW!!! >.>

[qq=Avarice-ness]Just for the future knowledge of woman kind everywhere.[/qq]

For future knowledge, not all males are simpleminded sports-worshipping tactless cavemen. The list is foolishness.

I always did think that toilet seat thing was stupid.

Quote:

---

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

--AND--

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

---

TRUE!

Quote:

---

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

---

But boys also need it down to duce. Therefore, it's more appropriate for it to be down. Not that it has to be down; it's called being considerate. And if you want me to cook dinner for you [read: my husband], you should want me not to have to touch the toilet seat because next time I have to I will not feel inclined to be so considerate as to wash my hands.

Quote:

---

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

--AND--
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

---

My husband doesn't watch sports. v(^_^)

Quote:

---

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

---

Any girl who thinks shopping is a sport is... dumb. But shopping IS fun so suck it!

Quote:

---

1. Crying is blackmail.

---

...And?

Quote:

---

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

---

True. It's just the way male brains are wired.

Quote:

---

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

---

Then if you haven't changed my mind after seven days you forfiet your position and I officially win the argument.

Quote:

---

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

---

Ew.

Quote:

---

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

---

The person who wrote this obviously hasn't talked to many females. A large percentage of thin females think their fat. G'job feeding the monster!

Quote:

---

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

---

True.

Quote:

---

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

---

That's true for anyone. Especially my husband; he's always asking me to do something and then telling me how to do it.

Quote:

---

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

---

Also true for anyone. Interrupt Grey's Anatomy and DIE!

Quote:

---

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

---

When was the last time Christopher Columbus got laid? I don't think there were any women even on that boat.

Quote:

---

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

---

Just as long as you don't sniff it.

Quote:

---

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

---

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

I do not agree with the majority of them. (For those of you who do not know nor looked at a profile, I am a guy).

I saw these "rules" posted on another forum I used to be at. Unfortunately it was full of cavemen and most agreed with this stereotypical crap, though myself and another member, a highly intelligent medical student (who would probably do better here) disagreed.

I disagree with almost every single point in the "rules". If I could link to said medical student's own post of his personal rules, I would, but the other forum's thread may be too old and I don't think it was archived. In short, most emphasized empathy with the other sex rather than the former rules' narrow-minded, near-sexist brain barf.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

Quote:

---

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

---

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

---

Just be honest the first time.

All so very, very true. Even though I don't even have a wife, but I see my dad doing this ALL the time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by roto13-ness

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

Quote:

---

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

---

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

---

Just be honest the first time.

---

You just got TOLD.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by roto13-ness

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

Quote:

---

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

---

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

---

Just be honest the first time.

---

QFT

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by roto13-ness

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

Quote:

---

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

---

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

---

Just be honest the first time.

---

Women have adapted the "Nothing... *sniff*" strategy as a result of being shot down repeatedly when we're direct with our feelings. We have to draw you in first to gain your concern.

And I realize this isn't always true, but that's the basis of where the "nothing" comes from. It's not just girls wanting to play games.

The thing I've noticed with my mom is:

She complains to my dad about how I make her cry, and my dad really doesn't care. Well, he cares, but he just doesn't make a huge deal of it.

i agree...what the heck is a mauve anyways?!? at least fix the toilet sets when your done >_>

~IT's WACK

some is true, some isn't. it's made for 'macho guys' and i'm guessing on a forum about final fantasy, you will find that they are in the minority. it's funny, but i don't put much stock into it.

Mauve it is like a redish purple.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Avarice-ness

Guys' Rules
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
True.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
True.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
True.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
True.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
True.

1. Crying is blackmail.
True.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
True.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
True.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
True; unless you've got a problem, don't say anything
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
False; sympathy is for wimps.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
False; doctors are a no-no.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
False; all statements said the previous day are voided or nulled.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
False; I want you to act like a girl from the VS' commercials without me having to do anything.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
False; we don't care unless it affects us personally.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
True.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
True.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
False; you will eventually need our help anyways.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
False; say it when the program is done.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
False; Columbus knew where he was going, but winded up somewhere else by accident, WE have something called a "shortcut."

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.
False; there's only seven: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and white. Black is not a color, brown is a variation of orange.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
False; we itch if it bothers us.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
True.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
True.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
False; the less, the better.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
True; but includes politics, and other topics of interest, such as football and the NFL Preseason.

1. You have enough clothes.
True.

1. You have too many shoes.
True.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
True; depends on the case.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
True; but the couch is pretty damn comfortable.

---

Yeah that stuff's true for whiny and insecure girls, but unless she was extremely good looking (and we're talking a 5 star here) I don't know why any guy would go out with a girl like that, and it's their own fault if they don't like it.

It's true that women over react, bad. They also need to learn when to keep quite once in a while.

*sigh*

Perpetuating the caveman ideal.

My dad does a lot of these things...my boyfriend, not so much. :P

Quote:

---

It's true that women over react, bad. They also need to learn when to keep quite once in a while.

---

I think I'm offended a little. Not all girls overreact, or are loud and annoying. :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hawkeye

It's true that women over react, bad. They also need to learn when to keep quite once in a while.

---

im speechless

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

Quote:

---

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

---

But boys also need it down to duce. Therefore, it's more appropriate for it to be down. Not that it has to be down; it's called being considerate. And if you want me to cook dinner for you [read: my husband], you should want me not to have to touch the toilet seat because next time I have to I will not feel inclined to be so considerate as to wash my hands.

---

That's exactly what I was gonna say.

Although I really don't care if the toilet seat is up, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LEAVE IT DOWN WHEN YOU PEE AND PEE ALL OVER THE SEAT and then I sit down and I sit on your pee and it's gross and I kill you really much ewguh.

I agreewith a couple of those, though dont ask m which ones becuase Ive forgotten already, but some i dont agreewith, like the tv/sports thing, I dont watch sports, or TV, cept forHouse when I remember to watch it.

In regards to the toilet seat thing, if Im anywhere that isnt home, or theres company I put the seat and lid down, at home i might if i can remmeber too.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
Agreed.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Not agreeable; a little consideration would be nice since the toliet lid was designed to acutally cover the toliet.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
Agreed.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Agreed.

1. Crying is blackmail.
Not agreeable; however there are certain people who cry to make people feel bad for them.


1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Agreed.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Not agreeable; not all questions. For instance, "how was your day?" "No." Wtf. Yes and no are acceptable to a few questions, but it shouldn't be almost every.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Agreed.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.
Agreed.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
Agreed?

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
O_o Agreed.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
Agreed.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
Haha, agreed.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Agreed.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Agreed.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
-_- Not agreed; my dad spent and hour circling around before we finally yelled at him to ask for directions. I don't like my time wasted, because some guys don't want their pride diminshed.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.
^_^ Gay men seem to know what mauve is and that's good enough for me.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
Agreed.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
Agreed.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Agreed.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
Not really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
Ew. Golf. Agreed.

1. You have enough clothes.
Agreed.

1. You have too many shoes.
Meh.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Not agreeable

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Except...inside. Agreed.

The rules are good ones for the most part (as good as completely generalized rules can be).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

[QUOTEAverice-ness]1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

---

But boys also need it down to duce. Therefore, it's more appropriate for it to be down. Not that it has to be down; it's called being considerate. And if you want me to cook dinner for you [read: my husband], you should want me not to have to touch the toilet seat because next time I have to I will not feel inclined to be so considerate as to wash my hands.[/QUOTE]

Nobody likes touching the toilet seat, but until someone invents a way around it, that's the way it is. Right now, I live with no women so the toilet seat stays wherever it was put on its previous usage.

However, if I could find a woman who would cook me dinner every night, I would gladly scrub the toilet after every use in addition to adjusting the seat...so far I can only get women to help me with one dish: the hot salami wrap. [can you say ban?]

that whole toilet seat thing is ridiculous...i was raised in a house with three women so i always, almost unconsciously, put it back down when i am finished. the thing that bothers me is i would never put my butt somewhere i didn't inspect at least a little...but i guess i'm just weird like that

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dr Unne

For future knowledge, not all males are simpleminded sports-worshipping tactless cavemen. The list is foolishness.

---

You're such an old lady. :p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Araciel

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hawkeye

It's true that women over react, bad. They also need to learn when to keep quite once in a while.

---

im speechless

---

Allow me to rephrase: some women. I didn't mean to cause insult to a lot of people, but most of the women I've seen, especially in my school, have a real bad tendency to comment on every, single, thing, you can imagine. It literally drives me up the walls, to the point where I feel like telling them to shut the hell up. If this doesn't concern you, then kindly disregard. For this I apologize.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raistlin

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dr Unne

For future knowledge, not all males are simpleminded sports-worshipping tactless cavemen. The list is foolishness.

---

You're such an old lady. :p

---

Your mom's an old lady.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Araciel

that whole toilet seat thing is ridiculous...i was raised in a house with three women so i always, almost unconsciously, put it back down when i am finished. the thing that bothers me is i would never put my butt somewhere i didn't inspect at least a little...but i guess i'm just weird like that

---

No, you're cool. The people who sit blindly down on a toilet are the weird ones...

I've seen that list several times before, and I just have to say "Yay, generalizations!"

Seriously. Nothing I hate more than generalizing someone based off of a group they belong to. Not all members of any group act exactly the same. *shrug*

Anyway, the only one that even comes close to applying to me is the one about subtle hints. Hell, I didn't even notice when they built new houses for over a year. I am the single most oblivious person I know.

The sad thing is that the way Western society is heading, in probably the next generation or so, none of these things will apply to men because they will have all turned into pansies.

I think what most guys get pissed off about, though, is that women tend to be vague. Guys like direct answers/orders. There's enough crap to figure out in the day-today lives, we don't need riddles and puzzles at home.

i will agree with that...i think it goes back to the way our brains are wired...the man had to live in the hunt-and-kill world and dealt with absolutes, where the women were at home in the cave wondering when he was going to come home, if he would be sliced open by a tyrannosaurus bite, etc.

Quote:

---

Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
We sure arent

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
I always put it down, no matter what house im at, generally out of respect. I used to question why I always had to do that though..

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
I disapprove of sports.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
lol. A sport? Only airheads think of it as a sport, no girl I know regards it as a sport..

1. Crying is blackmail.
Yes it is. And it works too. Even knowing its just to get their way with something, its hard for me to deny..

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Yes, at times, because im an asshat, and can be quite oblivious and clueless

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Yeah, I am prone to this attitude. But only if I cant be arsed..

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
I get asked for advice a lot, despite usually not knowing jack about said problem :/

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
I agree with this, why put yourself at risk?

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
Haha, bringing up the past, I hate that

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
What?

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
Im rather sick of hearing the fat complaint, when they clearly arent, but what can you do :/ You agree, you get slapped or something, you disagree, they think its just empty praise and lies to make them feel better. Its a lose/lose situation.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
Hahaha, indeed

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Hahaha, I often think this, as im lazy..

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Yep, same goes with me and playing a game. EG: Extreme boss battle, I think its clearly obvious that im busy and need 100% concentration

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
Eh?

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.
Not neccesarily. I see peach as a colour. I know what mauve is :(

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
Yes :p But not in public.. (At least with me that is..)

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
Yes, I HATE this. But im being a hypocrite, as I do the same.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
xDD Yeah, ive done this, and regretted it later

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
Yeah, indeed

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
My thoughts are too bizarre for any mortal to hear...

1. You have enough clothes.
Yes xD

1. You have too many shoes.
Yes xD

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
xD That made me laugh, a lot.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
Lol, I have always found that stupid.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

---

Yeah there are alot of stereotypes in it, 'cause I know that alot of guys don't watch sports, but I found the thing pretty entertaining. :D
Some did seem correct though. :razz:

Tch, I always put the seat down.

These lists are dumb. I swear this one is probably several years old.

Soultion: Both men and women are disgusting, vicious creatures.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by farplaner

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Araciel

that whole toilet seat thing is ridiculous...i was raised in a house with three women so i always, almost unconsciously, put it back down when i am finished. the thing that bothers me is i would never put my butt somewhere i didn't inspect at least a little...but i guess i'm just weird like that

---

No, you're cool. The people who sit blindly down on a toilet are the weird ones...

---

No, you're weird ;)

At public restrooms, yeah, I would definitely look. At home with my family or boyfriend, it doesn't occur to me, especially if I want to pee really bad =P

I get up at least three times a night to pee, and I don't want to open my eyes, dangit! Still, I've only fallen in--and only partially--once.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jojee

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by farplaner

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Araciel

that whole toilet seat thing is ridiculous...i was raised in a house with three women so i always, almost unconsciously, put it back down when i am finished. the thing that bothers me is i would never put my butt somewhere i didn't inspect at least a little...but i guess i'm just weird like that

---

No, you're cool. The people who sit blindly down on a toilet are the weird ones...

---

No, you're weird ;)

At public restrooms, yeah, I would definitely look. At home with my family or boyfriend, it doesn't occur to me, especially if I want to pee really bad =P

---

:eek:
"Jo-jee has a dir-ty boo-ty! Na-a-ah, Na-a-ah, Nah-Nah, N-a-a-h!" ;)

Lol I don't know, I don't really care about any of that stuff. Toilet seat? Is it that big of a deal? You can't bend over 1 foot and drop the toilet seat for the person you love so its easier for her? Lets not even mention how much "cleaner" it'll make the bathroom look.

Aren't these called Manisms?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Khaotic

Lol I don't know, I don't really care about any of that stuff. Toilet seat? Is it that big of a deal? You can't bend over 1 foot and drop the toilet seat for the person you love so its easier for her? Lets not even mention how much "cleaner" it'll make the bathroom look.

---

No, it's not really that big of a deal, but your argument doesn't work, because it can just as easily, and with as much validity, be said "is it really that difficult to bend over 1 foot and drop the toilet seat for yourself? I mean what are you- crippled?....[incidentally: if you are actually crippled, then I vigorously retract my statement. :p

Quote:

---

Guys' Rules

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

---

All the ones left are true. I deleted the ones that aren't true for me.

Rule nr. 1 is true. Except for rule nr. 1.

Someone had to do it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Levian

Rule nr. 1 is true. Except for rule nr. 1.

Someone had to do it.

---

I would've phrased it: Rule number 1 is right, but I don't agree with number 1.

I agree with the majority of them.

All you people who just went on a self-righteous trip analysing every single rule and disagreeing all fail at life. You killed the joke.

My notes in bold;

Quote:

---

Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. - Absolutely true. Nearly all of us lack Telepathy. Actually it's estimated about 100% of the world's population probably isn't Telepathic.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. While this is a arguement as old as time, the reason why we want it up is because we're lousy shots, but don't want to admit it. We've been made lazy due to urinals.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be. I don't watch Sunday sports. I don't watch sports with the exception of Boxing. I imagine some other men are the same. But not others.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.Unless there's a bloke with a whistle running backwards keeping score, then shopping cannot be classified as a sport

1. Crying is blackmail.As is saying "If you think I look so good, why do you keep looking at other women?"

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!Honestly, we're stupid creatures. I know I need to be told directly what somebody wants, otherwise they don't get it. Reading between the lines isn't something we do.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.Then again any answer which doesn't make us the bad guy would be nice

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.Although we can offer sympathy, if we get something else out of it from you. Know what I mean?:jokey:

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.I imagine this one's about "that excuse". We can totally see through it. We would retaliate with something similar, but we just really REALLY like sex

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.This is due to short-term memory loss that all men experience. Same goes for anniversary's and birthdays.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.Soap opera's being known for people walking around in their underwear

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.Unless you're Bulemic/Anorexic. Then we'll probably say you're too thin

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other oneYou've got to love the benefit of the doubt clause

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.Actually if you tell us how to do it straight away that'd be great

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.Or we'll start asking our questions during your time!

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.I personally always ask for questions. My dad however doesn't. It's caused some battles over the years let me tell you

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.Or turquoise, or beige, or subtle lavender. We're still on the primary colour wheels we got when we were six

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.Same situation for breaking wind/burping/urinating

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.Its what we call the eventual Avalanche syndrome

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.The term "rhetorical question" is lost on many men, but not some

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.Provided you don't wear anything to entice any other would-be suitors of course

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.Or guns, or sex, or explosions, or pirates, or how great I am

1. You have enough clothes.Infact, I have some gambling debts and...

1. You have too many shoes.What are you, a centipede?

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!I'm actually buff so I don't qualify for this. The upshot is if I keep in shape, YOU keep in shape too. It's called give and take

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;not unless I throw those shoes out onto the garden and lock the door before you can pick them up. Ha!

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.If women keep treating me like this, I may end up doing a different kind of "camping" altogether...

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Old Manus

All you people who just went on a self-righteous trip analysing every single rule and disagreeing all fail at life. You killed the joke.

---

It's what I do, and I'm damn good at it.

Alot of these are true, but not all of them. like the one about the couch, if she's pissed at me for writing something, than she can go sleep on the couch

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Old Manus

All you people who just went on a self-righteous trip analysing every single rule and disagreeing all fail at life. You killed the joke. See below for an example.

---

LoLzOrDs fixed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Psychotic

Yeah that stuff's true for whiny and insecure girls, but unless she was extremely good looking (and we're talking a 5 star here) I don't know why any guy would go out with a girl like that, and it's their own fault if they don't like it.

---

Exactly. The amount of whining couples do about one another, you'd think they were forced to be together. What a sad desperate bunch. :lol:

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Yes, but neither do you fall in when you have to pee. A wet behind is never a good start to the day.


1. Crying is blackmail.

Only if it is intended to be used that way. If a woman cries for any other reason and you don't care you are a cad.


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Only if yes and no can be used when you want to know where we were all day.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Lazy, the smart men learn to keep their mouth shut and just hand out hugs.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

Coward.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

Lazy again.



This sounds to me more like the rules for a lazy relationship where no one gives a care about each other then rules for understanding men. Men just aren't that complicated. Mind you they're a good companion to the other rules since those are rules for being a selfish witch so I guess fair is fair.

I'm very complicated I'll have you know. But I'm special. Most of the guys I know are about as complicated as finding an oven in a kitchen.

Quote:

---

Guys' Rules
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
True.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
True.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
True.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
True.

1. Crying is blackmail.
True.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!

true

Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

were not idiots you know.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

not really.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
True. we can help solve problems. men are not idiots. its just a ton of idiots and yobs giving us a bad name.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

not really. there are more important things than sympathy.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

if someone asks you'll probably say no even if its a lie to make them feel a bit better (unless it would be a completely obivous lie.)

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

yup. saves a lot of trouble.


1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.

true.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

no. tell us how to do it and ask for a bit of help but if your the best at it just do most of it.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

yes.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
False.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.
False.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
False

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
True.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
True.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
False.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
sort of true.

1. You have enough clothes.
True.

1. You have too many shoes.
in a lot of cases.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
false. dont be a smartass and talk your lazy-self out of it.

---

conclusion. men are different but not stupid. we can take things seriously and use our brains. ive heard things like

a woman is holding a baby and hoovering at the same time. the phone rings. she turns off the hoover, walks over to the phone and carries on nursing the baby while talking.

a man is holding a baby and hoovering at the same time. the phone rings. he leaves the hoover running, drops the baby, trips over the hoover and rushes to the phone and doesnt pick it up in time.

funny but only true for clumsy idiots.

hahah.. all of them are hilaroius! lol :D

Quote:

---

Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

---

All true.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by farplaner

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Khaotic

Lol I don't know, I don't really care about any of that stuff. Toilet seat? Is it that big of a deal? You can't bend over 1 foot and drop the toilet seat for the person you love so its easier for her? Lets not even mention how much "cleaner" it'll make the bathroom look.

---

No, it's not really that big of a deal, but your argument doesn't work, because it can just as easily, and with as much validity, be said "is it really that difficult to bend over 1 foot and drop the toilet seat for yourself? I mean what are you- crippled?....[incidentally: if you are actually crippled, then I vigorously retract my statement. :p

---

However, us men should take that responsibility, unless, you'd like to clean the toilet and do all the other house work? Sure, anyone can add to the argument and say just another reason why a guy should do it, or continue the debate on how a woman can't, or shouldn't, but in my mind, a man should atleast be able to do that.

Every single one of them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Magus of Zeal

Aren't these called Manisms?

---

Manusisms

I don't understand.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dr Unne

[qq=Avarice-ness]Just for the future knowledge of woman kind everywhere.[/qq]For future knowledge, not all males are simpleminded sports-worshipping tactless cavemen. The list is foolishness.

---

These kinds of responses are more hilarious than the lists themselves.

I'm so glad my boyfriend is so much better than the guy (or whoever) wrote that list. ^_^

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Avarice-ness

I saw this bulletin on Myspace that stereotype'd pretty well and I was wondering how many guys could actually back some of these 'rules' up. Just for the future knowledge of woman kind everywhere. :razz:

Quote:

---

Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

---

Any guys to back atleast one of these up? Maybe with a funny story or something? :D
:heart:

---

Some of these are funny...But all true.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Neel Hates Clout's Guts

These kinds of responses are more hilarious than the lists themselves.

---

Why?

Because you're an old lady, but an amusing old lady. :love:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raistlin

Because you're an old lady, but an amusing old lady. :love:

---

I don't know of any old ladies who object to male stereotypes. I'm not sure I understand.

Being married for 16 years I can safely say that everyone of those is 100% true! Especially about the hints. Guys do NOT, and I repeat NOT pick up hints! Just tell us!