Classy Bedtime Stories
Since we are all into insomnia lately, why don't you tell us your favourite bedtime story?
Here is mine, told to me by me e-mommy, Agrias, at 5:30 in the morning.
Agrias:
Ahem.
ok ok
hush
alright
here's the story
once apon a time
there was a little sock
the sock was sad
it wanted to find the sharp projectile
but they were rare
and only lived beyond the dog house
so one day the sock filled itself with things it would need, and headed for the dog house
now the dogs were slightly rabid from being bitten by a squirrel
so it saw the sock and ran after it
the sock was tossed about like..well like a sock
then magically
a projectile object came and stabbed the dog in the anal sphinxter!
the dog licked it and ran away
the sock looked at the projectile and smiled with all its wool
"TANK JOO!" said the happy lil sock
"joo welkum joo sock"
said the projectile
and POOF
it disappeared
the sock sat there wondering where it should go next
so it climbed on the dog house and looked over the 2 inch fence
"HO SNEE! it be pretteh ova der"
said the happy lil leprican
at that it snapped its toes and clicked its fingers
AND POOF
it was over the fench
meanwhile the sock cursed the leprican for having magic powers
so he too clicked his fingers and snapped his toes
AND POOF
he ended up inthe place socks go when they get lost in the dryer
"OH NOES" remarked the sock
"DIS AINT BEIN NO WHERE NEAR TEH DOGGEH HOUZZE"
so the sock ran and ran and ran
only to find himself in a hampster wheel
he climbed out and walked to the bright light
"OOOO i see teh light of teh bright stuff!"
at that he was over the 2 inch fence!
"HUZZAH! ante up!" said the little sock
"yar! all yee base are belongen to us!" said the evil pirate
"oh noes!"
said the sock
"I BE TEH LEPRICAN BUT ME GOT A RACE CHANGE! now i'm teh full pirate! YAR! yar te har de har!"
said the thing of different race
"oh noes!" said the sock
at that he ran away as the thing chased it with a snickers bar
"i r not wanten dat on meh soft newly cleaned wool self!" said the sock as he ran
"YARRRRR" said the thing as he fell behind
"haha you be teh slow fatteh!" said the sock with a smirk and a flex
at that the sock skipped away as the thing had a massive asthma attack and died
the world mourned the thing that day
so the sock was skipping along
all was bright and cheery over the fence
then the sock tripped and all his ingredients fell out
"oh noes" said the sock
"me mommeh be mad at meh"
at that he grabbed his ingredients and stuffed himself back up
his mommy sock however had spidey senses that tingled when he soiled himself
and POOF his mommy was in front of him
"JOO YOUNG THING
WHY JOO GO AN SOIL JOOSELF!?"
said the mommy sock
"MOMMEH!"
said the sock in despair
at that the mommy sock spanked him while whiping his bum bum
"I R TEH SAD" said the sock
his mom looked him in the wool and said
"ima kill joo"
O_O was the socks face
"LOLZ u kno i be jk, i only murda da bbz!" said the mommy sock with a hearty laugh
at that she disappeared back to her house
"oh mommeh sock, i be luffen joo" said the sock as he danced away all happy
and thus the sock got crushed by a bridge and never made it to the projectile items
THE END
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It's also a big one around the campfire. Even in the woods you are not safe.
Originally Posted by Quin 'n' Tonic
