Olympic Event! Most unfortunate way to die!

[Goldenboko]

Any fan of Final Fantasy II will be aware of the numerous deaths in this game. Indeed, characters drop dead faster than Steve Irwin in a tank of Manta Rays! There's more deathbed melodrama than an Italian funeral! And rightly, deserved, death is the theme of this event!

Participants, with the US Presidential debates so close, it seems only fitting that this event requires you to post an argument with who you think had the most unfortunate death of this game! A vague statement indeed! Your definition of unfortunate here could win or lose you this event!


Dat Rule List
This event shall by... myself! Suck-up commence. You'll have ~4-5 days to make your arguments. You may try to expose holes in other peoples arguments, I will read over the entire thread - however please make it clear where your team's official debate post is. Mark it with an underlined Team X's Argument, like so:

Team Goldenboko's Argument
CAP LOCKS MAKES IT TRUE! I IS RITE! I IS THE WINNER!

No name calling, one entry per team. Don't think I forget anything. Impress me

[Jiro]

Let me just start by saying that Team FFX and Team FFIX are both villains masquerading as successful teams. They seek to undermine the integrity of this competition and as such you should discard their arguments before they are even presented Mister Goldenboko sir. A vote for Team FFVI's argument -- which will be delivered in due time and of the utmost quality -- will be a vote for truth, justice and a better tomorrow.

[Quindiana Jones]

No name calling, Jiro. Disqualify that man!

[Formalhaut]

Is furiously researching on what actually happened during Final Fantasy II

[Goldenboko]

No name calling, Jiro. Disqualify that man!

I will make it so. Disqualified... from not participating!

Is furiously researching on what actually happened during Final Fantasy II

Uncle must do reseeeearch!

[Quindiana Jones]

Yeah, I'm gonna have to look into it to. I've never played this game. xD

[Shauna]

There's a Final Fantasy II?

[Jiro]

You just disqualified the only person who's even played the smurfing game I didn't name-call anyway! I merely pointed out the inherent flaws in my other candidates! That is what one does in politics! You cannot reference the US Presidential Race and then disqualify me for perfectly legitimate tactics! God will strike you down for this one!

[Goldenboko]

You just disqualified the only person who's even played the smurfing game I didn't name-call anyway! I merely pointed out the inherent flaws in my other candidates! That is what one does in politics! You cannot reference the US Presidential Race and then disqualify me for perfectly legitimate tactics! God will strike you down for this one!

Jiro... look at my post more carefully Mr. Dude! If you can't see it, try quoting my post.

[Jiro]

Team Final Fantasy VI's Argument
Click.

Let me tell you a tale, friends. A tale of heroes and villains, of victories and defeats. A tale of sacrifice for the greater good. This is the story of a man unlike any other, whose feats cemented him as a legend. This man is named Josef.

Born and raised in Salamand, Josef joined the Palamecian Empire as a soldier during his youth. He fought for them bravely, as any good soldier, until he began to question their motives. Steadfast with a moral compass made of gold, Josef fled the Empire with his dearly beloved in order to start a life of peace. Returning to Salamand, Josef and his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Nelly Furtado, who would go on to become a singer.

Josef's love of adventure didn't end with his time in the Empire's ranks however; he built a snowsled and used it to cross the dangerous ice fields to the north, allowing him to carry out some spelunking in the famed Semitt Falls Cavern. Sadly, Josef's wife perishes some time later, leaving him a widower and the sole parent to young Nelly Furtado. They lived as peacefully as one can, always honouring the memory of that beautiful woman they both loved.

This is not where our story ends though, my friends. If it were, we would all be the happier for it. But nay, disaster strikes true when it comes from the hearts of wicked men. While Josef was away from Salamand one day, the Empire struck, seizing the entire male population of Salamand and Nelly Furtado to work in the Semitt Falls Cavern. Nelly Furtado was their insurance policy; the Empire knew Josef, a man of virtue and bravery, would never allow such things to pass. So they forced him to back down, his daughter's life the price for any heroics.

Fortune smiled upon him though, as three brave adventurers came to Salamand, seeking an item hidden deep within Semitt Falls. Josef accompanied them, offering to assist them in exchange for their help in saving his friends and family. The team swept through the cavern like mighty gods, slaying man and beast who dared try and stop them. Josef was magnificent, using only his fists in battle like a ferocious animal. Within an hour, the cave was cleared and the people rescued. The party made their way back to the entrance where Fate decided it would rear its ugly face.

Borghen, a wicked Palamecian general, confronts the party. Though he is defeated with ease, he triggers a trap with his dying breath, unleashing a giant boulder. With no time to react, the boulder is about to crush the party before Josef springs into action, leaping forward and holding the mass of stone and rock with his bare hands. He begs the party to flee, and to give his daughter his love. It is only due to Josef's sacrifice that the party is able to escape Semitt Falls before the boulder crushes poor Josef.

He was a man who was willing to give his absolute for strangers. He was a man who loved his family until the very last breath. And he was a man who did not let something as minor as death stop him. Oh no. Josef found himself in the afterlife and knew that his service to the greater good was not yet finished. Heaven had been corrupted, and Josef, along with the assistance of others, went forth to defeat the Light Emperor, sparing this ethereal domain from being controlled by evil once more.

Josef's story is one of bravery and sacrifice. His story is so profound that it has been repeated often, even appearing as an important lesson in Square Enix's Final Fantasy IX. Without the assistance of Josef, both the Light and Dark Emperor Palamecias would have conquered their respective domains and the world - physical and not - would have been cast into utter chaos. Josef is a hero. Josef is a father. Josef is the man.

[Formalhaut]

Nice to see Jiro went on regardless.

And hey I'm playing, I was just waiting to see how good the others were first, get some sort of idea on how to do mine. Thanks Jiro!

[Quindiana Jones]

Cheers Jiro. Just off to go rewrite my entire damn argument with a completely different person, you Oz .

[Formalhaut]

Cheers Jiro. Just off to go rewrite my entire damn argument with a completely different person, you Oz .

Jiro's also guilty of plagiarism? Instant disqualification!

[Jiro]

I wrote my argument before Quintin even knew who Josef was.

[Quindiana Jones]

He was the only person I knew died! xD