I have a friend who's annoying and generally disliked by everyone else I know. He's only around because everyone's too nice to just tell him to go away. So last time I was drunk I was talking to a friend about the annoying guy, just laying out every single annoying thing about him, and when I finished I looked up and it was him I was talking to. And he didn't say anything. And I didn't say anything.




So I once had to give a speech to about 250-300 people (98% strangers). I prepared for weeks because I hate public speaking, even more than the average person hates public speaking. Had everything perfectly planned out, then day-of I got to the podium and panicked and improvised the whole thing. It worked though, because I was nailing it, making the audience laugh, etc. Oh, this is where I should tell you that the 250-300 people were librarians. So the fact that they were visibly and audibly enjoying what I had to say made me excited, and I got louder and louder and started thumping the podium, and in a moment of pure chemical insanity I said, "...but we're up against smurfing douchebag parents who don't read to their kids, blah blah." Fortunately (I guess?) I didn't realize what I said, at all, until they asked me about it afterward.