When I was wee (I mean really young, like 3 or 4), I did ballet. I could have been the next Baryshnikov, but instead... well, you know how everyone says they're a terrible dancer?

I'm so bad at dancing that I make all those terrible dancers look like the next Baryshnikov. I am the Anti-Dance, Lord of Malcoordination, King of Enervation, The Antithesis of Movement and Antonym of Choreography.