Well, I'm not sure if this counts to the topic.
But my little cousin use to be able to make me laugh with anything.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"why >_>?"
"To get to the HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *giant smile*"
He use to do this laugh that got me crackin' up all the time, worked for most other people around that age too >_>;
Even though I knew all that was going to be at the end of that terribly long story was just a stupid pun, I read it all anyway. Sigh.
You know how I feel now.Originally Posted by Denmark
Goddamn. I was expecting a better payoff after all that reading. I'm disappointed.
I laughed, but I didn't, "bookmark the page and come back to it three times taking all day to read it" laugh.
Life's a bitch, eh?
><
Way to long, I finally gave in and skipped to the end ><
Funny though <3
asdfghjkl;'
I've got a joke, but it won't work so well on the internet. It's also long, and it's not good unless you read it all without skipping to the end. So for those of you who actually read through it all, props.
Bill is over at his friend's house watching a football game. When the game is over, he's getting ready to head back to his house, but on the way out he notices something different in his friend's hallway.
"Dude, there's a new door in your hallway," Bill says to his friend.
"Oh yeah," his friend replies, "I just had a new basement installed. I keep some very sensitive stuff down there."
"Really? What's down there?" Bill asks, but his friend just shakes his head.
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you, man. You're not a priest," his friend says. Bill is too confused to argue, and decides just to go home. He finds that he can't sleep, though, and so decides he needs to find out what's in his friend's basement.
The next day, he dresses up as a priest and goes back to his friend's house.
"Hello, I hear you only show priests what's in your basement," Bill says. His costumes is top notch, so his friend doesn't recognize him. He invites Bill in without hesitation and unlocks the basement door for him. Bill finds a dimly lit staircase. He begins to walk down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Until he finds a bronze door, but it's locked. So he goes back...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
And says to his friend, "There's a bronze door down there, and it's locked." His friend apologizes and hands him a bronze key. So Bill goes back...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Stops at the bronze door, unlocks it, and finds... more stairs. So he goes...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Until he finds a silver door, but it's locked. So he goes back...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Through the bronze door...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
And says to his friend, "There's a silver door down there, and it's locked." His friend apologizes and hands him a silver key. So Bill goes back...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Through the bronze door...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
Stops at the silver door, unlocks it, and finds... more stairs. So he goes...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
Until he finds a gold door, but it's locked. So he goes back...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Through the silver door...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs…
Through the bronze door…
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs…
And says to his friend, "There's a gold door down there, and it's locked." His friend apologizes and hands him a gold key. So Bill goes back…
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Through the bronze door...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Through the silver door...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
Stops at the gold door, unlocks it, and finds... more stairs. So he goes…
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
But he trips and and starts rolling…
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
Shatters through a glass door and keeps rolling…
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
And slams into a platinum door, which is locked. So he goes back…
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs…
Through the shattered remains of the glass door…
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs…
Through the gold door...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Through the silver door...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs…
Through the bronze door…
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs...
Up the stairs…
And says to his friend, "There's a platinum door down there, and it's locked." His friend apologizes and hands him a gold key. So Bill goes back…
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Through the bronze door...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Through the silver door...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
Through the gold door...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
Through the shattered remains of the glass door...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs...
Down the stairs…
Stops at the platinum door, unlocks it, and sees what’s inside the basement.
Question you're supposed to ask but I can't be bothered to stick around and wait for someone to askWell, what's in the basement?
The sadistic/hilarious answer I love to giveI can't tell you, you're not a priest.
Last edited by Ouch!; 10-22-2007 at 08:52 PM.
xD Ouch!, you suck.
Kaycee says (12:06 AM):
whos' obama?
Weak...
Horrendously long jokes with weak punchlines are epic win. I know 3 of them but cba to type any out.
there was a picture here
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
i still dont get the first joke. A tad bit slow this week i guess.
Fat kids are harder to Kidnap.
Dang Leeza, I thought that was funny.
Alright. Just to spite you, I'm posting this.
How d'you make a cat go "woof"?
PUNCH! -Set fire to it.
At least the jokes have a punch line not like "The joke is there's no joke!SUCKAS!! HARHARHAR!"
Work = force * distance
F<sub>You, Them</sub><sup>yell</sup> = ∆K<sub>E</sub> (desired speed of - current speed) ÷ ∆x (the distance they desire to be from the breakroom - current distance from the break room)
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