Why don't women wear shoes?
It's three steps from the bedroom and the kitchen.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She's a woman.
Why don't women have watches?
A clock's on the stove.
Why don't women wear shoes?
It's three steps from the bedroom and the kitchen.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She's a woman.
Why don't women have watches?
A clock's on the stove.
Looks like it's time to bust out the sandwich party platter for you folks. Even Psy can have one.
I agree, guys should make the girls sandwiches. Everyone knows all the best cooks in human history are men. What can I say? We're just better.
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
"He's smurfing correct"
Originally Posted by Loony BoB
Str8 Pimpin'
I couldn't find that smurfing thing that peels the carrots and potatoes. I asked the kids where it was, and apparently she left me yesterday.
Yes, even the task we typically assign to women to make them feel important we still do way better.
God damn having a penis is awesome.
I like Kung-Fu.
I curse you all with daughters
*deep breath*
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
What did God say when he created Adam?
I can do better than this.
What did God say when he created Adam?
I can do better than this.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush boulders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari appeared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
A woman is in a terrible accident, and she needs to receive a brain transplant. The doctor tells her, "Well, a man's brain costs $900,000 dollars and a woman's costs $100,000." She is extremely offended and asks why. The doctor smiles and says, "That's not sexism, it's standard pricing procedure. We have to mark the women's brains down because they've been used."
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.
Signature by rubah. I think.
My dad had dinner ready when I got home from work. My mom only cooks on holidays. Clearly one of them is the superior parent and cook. She makes a slamming homemade ziti and lasagna though.
I like to ejaculate all over the inside of my sandwiches before I serve them.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
(SPOILER)Made her chain too long
Eyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I'm gonna have daughters? Awesome. Even more sandwiches.
EDIT: I debated making the rest of this post because I both love and fear foa, but I couldn't resist the continuation of windups in this thread.
Amusing questions! Here's mine: Why do women repeat themselves so often?
This joke created by someone who not only thinks they are smarter than all of the men in the world, but also that they know what the fastest sports car in the world is (Clue: it's not a Ferrari).A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush boulders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari appeared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you.
This reminds me of when a girl in the show "The Inbetweeners" tells a guy that she'd love to have a boyfriend like him. He suggests "Why not me?" to which she bursts out laughing. "No, not you - someone like you! Oh, you're so funny!" =|Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
That joke was actually originally "so brunettes can remember them" and has just been edited to 'men'. Which doesn't make as much sense as a joke, as men can be blonde. D'oh. But! Here's a joke for all you ladies out there!Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So women can remember them.
See what I did there?
Let's see if anyone can stand criticism after this post. Love you foa :<3:Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Great post, laughed throughout.
Str8 Pimpin'
I'll take a sandwich.
I have no idea why everything posted twice.
That being said notice that BoB felt the need to defend himself to the jokes. Any issues going on with the ol' ego, BoBbles?
Signature by rubah. I think.
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