Jessweeee♪ was the only one who cared about the remaining animals enough to keep feeding them bacon until the grass grew long enough to gnaw on, so she settled as a rancher. However, the animals had grown to like bacon and for that reason were accepted as true americans and, sadly, fed burgers until they died of overconsumption. Jessweeee♪ died of sadness during the course of the many funerals.

Sephex married the blacksmith's daughter and moved to Klondike to seek his fortune. Sadly, they both sunk and drowned in a three-foot deep river they for some strange reason tried to float across.

Rantz found a new shop clerk girl to act the boy around, which led her to open her skirts for him, thinking he was playing some boyish game. They built a charming family, until sadly, the mother died of old age and Rantz drank his 20's away and eventually died of alcohol poisoning.

Shorty married into great fortune when she found the sheriff was an ass fetishist. Sadly, he couldn't distinguish between the word's different meanings and cheated on her with one of Jessweeee's mules. Until it died and fell on him, killing him in the fall, sadly leaving Shorty to die of loneliness.

Psychotic was driven to insanity when one of his last ten biscuits were stolen. From that day, he was only seen through the window of his cabin, where you could see him gazing out over the plains with the last rifle tightly clutched in his hands, wearing a bonnet and prepared to fight to the death to protect his remaining biscuit and bonnet supply. Sadly, he shot himself in the ankle and bled to death.

Pike lived happily ever after.