Let's get to know about newbies of EoFF a little better!
Three things about each newbie is listed. One of them is true, two of them are not. Choose wisely!
Darkmatta
1. Darkmatta learned his wonderful sorcerous skills from an ancient wizard high atop a dark mountain in the Fiji Mountains.
2. Darkmatta is an expert swordsman, trained in the shapings of his neighbour's Bonzai trees with his slamchop sword.
3. Darkmatta won his entry into the Tri-Wizard tournament when he was just five years old.
The answer is ...2. Darkmatta is an expert swordsman, trained in the shapings of his neighbour's Bonzai trees with his slamchop sword!
fat_moogle
1. fat_moogle invented the whoopee cushion in a freak accident when he was testing to make adjustments for entertaining condoms for sexually dysfunctional couples.
2. fat_moogle is actually Lightning Farron's fetally-separated womb-twin.
3. fat_moogle once spent a magical night with Bowser and Waluigi but has since not recovered, either physically or emotionally.
The answer is ...1. fat_moogle invented the whoopee cushion in a freak accident when he was testing to make adjustments for entertaining condoms for sexually dysfunctional couples.
FFNut
1. FFNut is a direct descendant of Weird Al Yanchovich and world-class Emmy and Oscar winner Nicolas Cage.
2. FFNut once danced naked in the moonlight with Kefka Palazzo and came away with a heart case of ringworm.
3. FFNut has a little tabby cat named Mr. Pickles, who enjoys reading poetic works by the great Walt Whitman in his spare time.
The answer is ...1. FFNut is a direct descendant of Weird Al Yanchovich and world-class Emmy and Oscar winner Nicolas Cage.
Fox
1. Fox is not actually a fox, but is instead an animated shrunken head from the mystic peoples of the Congo, who tore away the soul from Leonardo DiCaprio and stuffed it into the shrunken head of an enemy one night after a little too much honeywine and carrots.
2. Fox was once ejected from an airplane after trying to flick a stray hair from the captain's face and ended up jabbing him in the eye. He landed in the scorching Sudan desert where he lives on rockwater and made friends with the snakes.
3. Fox enjoys a good game of firey wiffleball and has won many tournaments; his defeated competitors have been lovingly housed in many a decorative urn.
The answer is ...1. Fox is not actually a fox, but is instead an animated shrunken head from the mystic peoples of the Congo, who tore away the soul from Leonardo DiCaprio and stuffed it into the shrunken head of an enemy one night after a little too much honeywine and carrots.
Gruntace101
1. Gruntace101 has an award-winning recipe for pea soup, which he ingratiously stole from Liza Minnelli one night after executing a memory charm on her after their finely dinner.
2. Gruntace101 stitches together mangled Sonic the Hedgehod plushies that he leaves outside for the neighborhood dogs in order to teach them how to run faster.
3. Gruntace101 is actually a 670 year-old hispanic ghost named El Sombrasso who always covers his face and wears a multi-colored poncho.
The answer is ...3. Gruntace101 is actually a 670 year-old hispanic ghost named El Sombrasso who always covers his face and wears a multi-colored poncho.
Lazerface
1. Lazerface was set to star as a main villain in a once-upon-a-time Batman spinoff called The Dark Kite, but the lazers in his face kept shredding the kites and ultimately forcing Woody Allen to cease production because of the rapidly-exhausted kite budget.
2. Lazerface was once a handsome prince in a faraway land. A man on a dark horse rode up to him and promised him three wishes if Lazerface could guess the man's name. Lazerface failed, so the man took his princess and gave him lazers for faces. That man's name was...
(SPOILER)Nicholas Cage.
3. Lazerface was once part of an acrobatic troup in a popular circus. In a freak accident, he mismanaged his lazers and set the Big Top on fire, and to this day is knowingly responsible for the Great Hartford Circus Fire of 1944.
The answer is ...2. Lazerface was once a handsome prince in a faraway land. A man on a dark horse rode up to him and promised him three wishes if Lazerface could guess the man's name. Lazerface failed, so the man took his princess and gave him lazers for faces. That man's name was... (SPOILER)Nicholas Cage.
Mr. Carnelian
1. Mr. Carnelian was once an extra in a Doctor Who episode in the 70's, but his scene was cut when Tom Baker was thrown from the cut in an unfortunate dalek explosion. His scene was replaced with a cartoon dinosaur the Doctor battled on an animated moon instead. To his great dismay, Mr. Carnelian did not make the cut for Screen Actors Guild, and could never live out his acting dream.
2. Mr. Carnelian was once abducted by aliens who tried to implant pig's memories into his brain. He returned to earth happy as could be, spending his remaining day rolling in mud puddles.
3. Mr. Carnelian is the secret business operator of a speakeasy on 49th street called Swindler's, where he was once honored by a visit from none other than
(SPOILER)Nicholas Cage himself.
The answer is ...3. Mr. Carnelian is the secret business operator of a speakeasy on 49th street called Swindler's, where he was once honored by a visit from none other than (SPOILER)Nicholas Cage himself.
TheZanmato
1. TheZanmato is well-renouned for fighting off a fire-breathing Ruby Dragon from the Sector 7 slums. Every day he lives with himself that he was in fact the one who accidentally provoked the dragon into attacking the slums by callings its mum fat.
2. TheZanmato is responsible for being Patient Zero of none other than the Koolaid Mosquito Fart Epidemic of 1928, which as we all know swept across the world and gave an alarming reaction to Germany and which ultimately caused the uprising of the Nazi regime.
3.
(SPOILER)TheZanmato is actually the rampaging terrorist Nicholas Cage.
The answer is ...3. (SPOILER)TheZanmato is actually the rampaging terrorist Nicholas Cage.
Give a round of applause to our newbies and thank them for being here!
Originally Posted by Pumpkin
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