Hey I wrote you a song. Fred Astaire is probably rolling over in his grave. (To the tune of Putting on the Ritz)

Have you read the thread on scones?
"Do you pronounce this like gones or owns?"
Down the page in Quina's Kitchen
There's a bit of culinary bitching
Clot cream and jammed up berries
Sweet things that cause dental caries
Some may ask "What is it?"
If you ask me, it's a biscuiiiit


If you're mean and want to start trout
I know the place you should be about
Foodie fits...
Pissin' off the Brits
Calling their cuisine by a different name
Will earn the ire of each sir and dame
They'll lose their tits...
Pissin' off the Brits

Say their chocolate's not as good as Hershey's
You'll lose evyer one of their tender mercies (they'll get cursey!)

Tell them Yorkshire pudding is just bread
They'll soon be coming for your head

Pissin' off the Brits

They would consider it quite rude and feckless
To ask them "why do y'all serve beans at breakfast?" (you're on their deathlist!)

From Devonshire or Cornwall
They'll be prepared to fight and maul
You down to bits.

Pissin' off the Brits.