learning french

Cuz I am so bored, I have decided to teach casual french :)

LESSON 1 - CHEESE (Fromage)

There are many different sentences that cheese can be used in:

Aimeriez-vous du fromage?
Would you like some cheese? (Polite way)

Aimerais-tu du fromage?
Would you like some cheese? (Regular way)

Veux-tu du fromage?
Would you like some cheese? (casual way)
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Oui, j'aimerais du fromage, merci.
Yes, I would like some cheese, thank you.

Oui, j'en veux.
Yes, I want some.

Non, je ne mange pas de fromage.
No, I don't eat cheese. (run away)

Peut-être.
Maybe.

Ta mère.
Your mom (rude)
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J'aime le fromage.
I like/love cheese. (Important)
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Achetes-toi s'en du fromage.
Guy buy yourself some cheese.

Vas t'en acheter du fromage.
Go buy yourself some cheese.

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Comment ça ce fait que t'en a pas de fromage?
How is it that you don't have any cheese?

Pourquoi n'as tu pas de fromage?
Why don't you have cheese?
---
Side note:
Man: Homme
Husband: Mari

Woman: Femme
Wife: Femme


That will do for now. Next week, proper french insults.
Any questions?

mon visage quand omelette du fromage

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pike

mon visage quand omelette du fromage

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mon visage quand pas de visage

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot..._5337850_n.jpg

Nique ta mère

J'ai un homard dans mon caleçon

I'm looking forward to the next lesson :hyper:

All those phrases and no solution for my smegma problem.

"mon visage quand omelette de fromage" means my face when cheese omlette. What you SHOULD say is "mon visage est un omlette de fromage" meaning my face is a cheese omlette.

"J'ai un hommard dans mon caleçon" you SHOULD say "J'ai un hommard dans MES caleçons." It is a plural word for reasons I don't quite understand. When it is plural, the noun (nom in french) following usually adds an 'S'

"Mon visage quand pas de visage" means my face when no face. you could say "mon visage quand je n'ai pas de visage" which means "my face when I have no face" which doesn't make that much more sense, but is grammatically correct.

DD, thats gross, so you could say "Je suis dégoûtant." or "Reste loin de moi" which means stay away from me. (actually means stay far from me, but you get the idea)

Good practice people :)

It's not infectious. :(

"Ce n'est pas infectueux"

Tu n'aime pas mes baskets?

I have no knowledge of the "Language of Love" although I did have a French dictionary once... I don't know where it is anymore.

I'm recently very interested in learning since I've recently been contacted by my cousin in Saint-Sauveur-le-Vicomte by Facebook. Well: Actually, I don't know if he's really my cousin just yet because I've never met him or heard from him until yesterday, but I've been gauging his responses. A key piece of information to me was that I dropped a name without mentioning who the person should be to him and his response matched exactly who the person should be to me. He's the right age and has the right name.
It may be due to the fact that my family and I have long since lost touch with his estranged father, but I'm fairly excited about getting to know him. But he tends to write in French by instinct and I can't understand a word of it. But his English is kind of broken so I can hardly understand that either. He has claimed to know pretty much who I am to him and has seen at least one picture of our families together (back when my uncle was engaged, I'm pretty sure we took at least one family picture for Christmas). So that's what that is.
Maybe it's just because he's French and I assume he's more respectable than the rest of my family has ever tried to be, but I'd like to dialogue with him in person regardless of whether he's speaking broken English or I'm speaking broken French.

Anyway... yeah...

EDIT: DISCLAIMER: You know? I think one of the reasons posters don't like hitting the edit button is because they don't want people to know they've edited their post and EOFF doesn't make that optional.

Anyway, bot...

Can someone translate these?:
Quand tu crois enfin que tu t’en sort quand Yen a Plus
Euh Ben yen a encore

Le Diable Ey Né

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

"mon visage quand omelette de fromage" means my face when cheese omlette. What you SHOULD say is "mon visage est un omlette de fromage" meaning my face is a cheese omlette.

"Mon visage quand pas de visage" means my face when no face. you could say "mon visage quand je n'ai pas de visage" which means "my face when I have no face" which doesn't make that much more sense, but is grammatically correct.

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Thank you! I am going to file these particular phrases away for my own nefarious purposes. >:3

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

"mon visage quand omelette de fromage" means my face when cheese omlette. What you SHOULD say is "mon visage est un omlette de fromage" meaning my face is a cheese omlette.

"J'ai un hommard dans mon caleçon" you SHOULD say "J'ai un hommard dans MES caleçons." It is a plural word for reasons I don't quite understand. When it is plural, the noun (nom in french) following usually adds an 'S'

"Mon visage quand pas de visage" means my face when no face. you could say "mon visage quand je n'ai pas de visage" which means "my face when I have no face" which doesn't make that much more sense, but is grammatically correct.

DD, thats gross, so you could say "Je suis dégoûtant." or "Reste loin de moi" which means stay away from me. (actually means stay far from me, but you get the idea)

Good practice people :)

---

mon visage quand

(peegies se moque de toi)

Oui

Are you actually learning French or have you just been watching too much Dexter's Laboratory?

Pretty sure shion is French. Or French-Canadian. Or lives in some francophone country.

Or something.

Amazing. Teach me something dirty to tell my husband. But not sexy-dirty, just distressing-dirty.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mercen-X

)Quand tu crois enfin que tu t’en sort quand Yen a Plus
Euh Ben yen a encore

Le Diable Ey Né

---

Quand tu crois enfin means 'when you finally believe'
quand tu t'en sort can mean different things such as fate or "get use out of" such as 'je me sort de mon ordinateur' means I get use out of my computer (although I am not sure its spelled 'sort')
quand il y'en a plus (how it should be written) means when there is no more or when there is more depending on the context. here I think it means when there is no more. (Il n'y en a plus de fromage means there is no more cheese, where as il y a plus de fromage means there is more cheese.)
Euh Ben (I am assuming Ben is a name, otherwise it should be bien) il y'en a encore would mean "Uh, Ben, there is still more"

The sentence structure seems odd to me as it would be
"When you finally believe, when you get use out of, when there is no more.
Uh, Ben, there is still more."


Yes I am french-canadian (or as the freaks where I live like to call it, franco-ontarian, meaning french-ontarian).

As for talking dirty, if you want it to be slightly disturbing, you could say things such as.

Mets de la crème fouetée dans mes fesses. meaning put whipped cream in my butt.
or
Suce mes orteilles. meaning suck my toes
or
Chante ma chanson préféré pendant que je te tappe les fesses avec un cuiellère de mélange. meaning, sing my favorite song while I spank you with a mixing spoon.



Also - le diable est né means the devil is born.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

Chante ma chanson préféré pendant que je te tappe les fesses avec un cuiellère de mélange. meaning, sing my favorite song while I spank you with a mixing spoon.

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French suddenly became a far more awesome language than I thought it was previously

Il y a des oiseaux dans ma fenetre

Quote:

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Chante ma chanson préféré pendant que je te tappe les fesses avec un cuiellère de mélange.

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I wrote that out and hung it on the wall so I could practice it throughout the day.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rubah

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

"mon visage quand omelette de fromage" means my face when cheese omlette. What you SHOULD say is "mon visage est un omlette de fromage" meaning my face is a cheese omlette.

"J'ai un hommard dans mon caleçon" you SHOULD say "J'ai un hommard dans MES caleçons." It is a plural word for reasons I don't quite understand. When it is plural, the noun (nom in french) following usually adds an 'S'

"Mon visage quand pas de visage" means my face when no face. you could say "mon visage quand je n'ai pas de visage" which means "my face when I have no face" which doesn't make that much more sense, but is grammatically correct.

DD, thats gross, so you could say "Je suis dégoûtant." or "Reste loin de moi" which means stay away from me. (actually means stay far from me, but you get the idea)

Good practice people :)

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mon visage quand

(peegies se moque de toi)

---

mon visage quand besoin d'un visage!

tous mes Pourquoi

I'm so angry with myself for not keeping up with my french. And I still have to take one more level in it.

shion can be my tutor.

Find some CDs or mp3 with an audio pronunciation of the french alphabet and some examples.

There are several websites you can use in order to study French. They have audio files, written text and/or instructions to reading:

To try and retouch my skills, I always used to watch dvds in french with french subtitles - this helps if you can't get any conversation, which is the best way to learn.. and when you notice the subtitles don't match what they're saying word for word you're starting to get it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

"J'ai un hommard dans mon caleçon" you SHOULD say "J'ai un hommard dans MES caleçons." It is a plural word for reasons I don't quite understand. When it is plural, the noun (nom in french) following usually adds an 'S'

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Meh, je m'en calisse.

(I bet I got that right)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mercen-X

)Quand tu crois enfin que tu t’en sort quand Yen a Plus
Euh Ben yen a encore

Le Diable Ey Né

---

The sentence structure seems odd to me as it would be
"When you finally believe, when you get use out of, when there is no more.
Uh, Ben, there is still more."

Also - le diable est né means "the devil is born".

---

Thank you. As these messages are being left by adolescents on Fb (my young cousin's friends), I'm not surprised the structuring seems off. People seem to lack the ability to even type properly in English when they're using the internet for quick conversation.

Lol. Maybe those are some kind of lyrics to a French adolescent's pop music... by some icon named Ben. Lol.

Actually, I think "ben" is slang for "bien," but they use it in France, not Canada. Sort of like all of the swearing in France and African dialects of French is about buggery, but in Canada it's about the church.

A great way to learn how to swear in Canadian French is the movie Bon Cop Bad Cop. It'll all come out in a Quebec accent (because it's set in Quebec), but with the subtitles it's followable even at Quebecois speed. (I'm not sure about Ontario French because I've never heard it, but Acadians speak French at the same speed as they speak English, whereas Quebecois speak it at a rate of speed ordinarily associated with electromagnetic radiation in a vacuum.)

Citizen Bleys, I have to say, your french seems very good. Ben can be slang for bien but it would be more like "bein" as in "bein non" which I use quite often.

SIDE LESSON ON FRENCH CANADIAN SLANG a.k.a Quebecois (this most likely does not apply to french spoken in france which is much more proper.)
*This is an actual phone conversation between my boyfriend (let's call him Josh...cuz that's his name) and his friend Eric. It was put on speaker phone, which is how I got both ends of the convo. I most certainly was NOT evesdropping on the other line.....ahem.

Josh: Oui, allo?
Eric: Yo, what's up man? (<---great french)
Josh: Je fais juste relaxer, garder du TV. Puis, que'ce que tu fais de bon, toi?
Eric: Rien, man. ça te tante tu de chiller?
Josh: Non, pas à soir. Appelle-moi demain.
Eric: OK, je t'apelle demain.
Josh: OK, ciao
Eric: Ciao.

Now here is what SHOULD be said.

Josh: Oui, bonjour?
Yes, hello? (Bonjour actually means good day, but is used as hello. If you want it to mean good day it would be bon jour, with a space)
Eric: Qu'est-ce qui ce passe?
What is going on? (Or what is up?)
Josh: Je relaxe et je regared de la télévision. Qu'es-ce que tu fais de bon?
I am relaxing and watching some television. What are you doing good?
Eric: Rien. ça te tenterais-tu de passer du temps ensemble?
Nothing. Do you feel like spending time together?
Josh: Non, pas à soir. Apelle-moi demain.
No, not tonight. Call me tomorrow.
Eric: D'accord. Au revoir.
Alright. Goodbye
Josh: Au revoir.
Goodbye.

*Terminaisons des verbes (for the more advanced student)
Je (I) can finish with S-E-X-AI
Tu (You) can finish with S-X
Il/elle (Him/her/it) can finish with C-A-D-E-T
Nous (Us/we) generally is ONS but occasionally MES
Vous (Them/they) generally is EZ but occasionally ES or TES
***Vous is also used as the polite way of saying you (instead of tu)
Ils (Him/her/it plural) is generally NT


I will now show you the most basic french verbs:

Verbe être à l'indicatif présent (To be)
Je suis
Tu es
Il est
Nous sommes
Vous êtes
Ils sont

Verbe avoir (To have)
J'ai
Tu as
Il a
Nous avons
Vous avez
Ils ont

*I am not able to conjugate verbs in that manner in English because I stopped going to an English school when I was 7. If anyone wants to teach me, I would be happy to learn.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

Citizen Bleys, I have to say, your french seems very good. Ben can be slang for bien but it would be more like "bein" as in "bein non" which I use quite often.

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Hahahahaha

You just said that to the man who once said "J'ai un petit feu de français." ("I have a little fire of French"; I meant to say I understood a little bit.)

I don't speak French, but if I get drunk enough, I start to think--wrongly--that I can. It comes from living in New Brunswick. Constant exposure and whatnot. I think I also once responded to "Parle-tu français?" with "Je n'suis pas si bien dakara una mumento por favor" before running to find someone who actually could speak the language.

my head is full of jackie chan

The galaxy is turning into Tomokazu Seki.

Rydych i gyd yn ffagots

Bonsoir

My bad, Citizen Bleys. From your posts you seem to speak it well enough. Other than the calçon thing.

I also want to apologize, I made an error.
Vous is 'you' plural, like you guys, when adressing a group of people
Ils is them, they, it plural.

LESSON 2 -Proper french insults:

Alot of these are what my teachers like to call "anglaisismes" meaning english words made to sound french. Alot of them are spelt almost the same as in english but are pronounced differently.

Ta face (meaning, obviously, your face. Face, however, is pronounced more like fass.)
or you could say
Ton visage
meaning, your face.

Ta mère, meaning your mom.

Gros laid, meaning big ugly.
*** laid and lait are pronounced the same in french. Laid means ugly, lait means milk. Technically if spoken, someone could be calling you either big ugly, or big milk. Which is more insulting? I dunno.

Mon cue, meaning my the-other-word-for-butt.
Mes fesses means the same thing.

Chienne femelle
Female dog

Trou-de-cue
a**hole

Personne dont les parents n'était pas marrié au temps de sa naissance.
Person who's parents were not married at the time of their birth. (meaning the word I am not sure I am allowed to post)

Different ways of saying "shut up"or "stop talking":
Ferme-la.
La ferme.
Ferme-toi la.
Ferme-toi la dont.
Ferme toi la yeule.
Ferme ta yeule.
Ferme-toi la, ta yeule.
Ta yeule.
Ferme ta boîte.
Ferme-toi la boîte.
Ferme dont ta boîte.
Arrête de parler.
Arrête dont de parler.

Ignorant (ignorant for a male)
Ignorante (ignorant for a female)

stupid (male)
stupide (female)

con (slang word for stupid for a male)
conne (for a female)

débile (fancy way of calling someone stupid, works for both genders)

Gros (big/fat for a male)
grosse (for a female)

laid (ugly for a male)
laide (ugly for a female)

This is the general. They can be combined:

Ta mère est grosse, laide et débile. Je n'aime pas sa face.
Your mom is big, ugly and stupid. I don't like her face.

*** face is feminin, so you would use ta, ma, sa, la before it
visage is masculin, so you would use ton, mon, son, le before it (among others)

it's ok you can say bastard here. It's Bleys' favorite word!

I watched le dîner de cons. Not much came through.

meuf here

Yeah, I'm a literal bastard and I'm proud of it.

My parents were married...just not to each other.

my parents were adulterers because that's what happens after you've been divorced and remarry :bigsmile:

Relevant to the thread:

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr...psuoo1_500.png

No one ever says Chouette alors. Ever.

Interesting book though....

I'm gonna start saying chouette alors for everything.

chouette ALORS~

:colbert:

chouette ALORS~

chouette :save: A :kakapo: L :kakapo: O :kakapo: R :kakapo: S ~ :save:

Hahahah chouette alors