Lies my parents told me

[Araciel]

"Don't worry son, it'll grow"

[Quindiana Jones]

My philosophy professor taught her son from birth that what we know as a spoon is called a "cup", and that pen was "pencil" and vice versa. She finally revealed the truth when he was 6 or 7, I think. He kept getting in trouble at school, and his dad started cottoning on after a while.

[Chemical]

My philosophy professor taught her son from birth that what we know as a spoon is called a "cup", and that pen was "pencil" and vice versa. She finally revealed the truth when he was 6 or 7, I think. He kept getting in trouble at school, and his dad started cottoning on after a while.

This is why having a psychologist or pholisopher for a parent would really smurf up your brain.

[noxious.sunshine]

...... Hmmm...

Oh. Weed. They lied. They've been anti-pot since forever ago and then my mom up and tells me she and my dad got stoned one time while my brother & sister were at school. I nearly died. My dad said something about trying it once a long time ago, but he didn't like it, but then my mom tells me she smoked -with- my dad. And that ho is Catholic!

[Shlup]

My mom told me she forgot when she and my dad got married. Did not figure out she was lying until I was 24 and found photos of their wedding where you could see she was very pregnant.

... xD

You were a surprisingly credulous youth, Shluppers. Didn't you also believe in Santa well into double-digits?

My parents did the usual Santa/tooth fairy thing, though I stopped believing in them after I was about 4 or 5. I can't think of any other "lies."

I believed in Santa until I was 8. Mostly because I wanted to. I still remember the bitch who told me Santa wasn't real; I was like "You had to go there, you whore." Something like that.

I believed my mom because I asked her when I was little and then never gave it any thought.

My Mom told me that if I slept in a room with the fan on and the doors/windows closed, that I would die.

This is the thing that makes me want to go to Korea the most--I sleep with two fans on in my room and I want to do that in Korea just to lord my Western superiority.

[Jowy]

This happened when I was five:

So they have this thing called the Lazy River in the water park back at home. You just lie back on an innertube and follow the current. There's a few hazards along the way like a waterfall and fiberglass frog that spews water. Anyway, there's a sign that says "ENTERING SHARK INFESTED WATERS" with a super-scary painting of a shark eating children. I smurfing wig out and start trying to paddle upstream to save myself. My aunt senses my fear and floats over, looks me dead in the eye and says:

"You had an older brother who got eaten by a shark on this ride. Your mom never told you because she was really sad about it."

Freak out, cry more, sit in the kiddy pool the rest of the day. I learned that sharks can't live in chlorinated water shortly after that though!

[Tigmafuzz]

This happened when I was five:

So they have this thing called the Lazy River in the water park back at home. You just lie back on an innertube and follow the current. There's a few hazards along the way like a waterfall and fiberglass frog that spews water. Anyway, there's a sign that says "ENTERING SHARK INFESTED WATERS" with a super-scary painting of a shark eating children. I smurfing wig out and start trying to paddle upstream to save myself. My aunt senses my fear and floats over, looks me dead in the eye and says:

"You had an older brother who got eaten by a shark on this ride. Your mom never told you because she was really sad about it."

Freak out, cry more, sit in the kiddy pool the rest of the day. I learned that sharks can't live in chlorinated water shortly after that though!

Haha I love hearing about adults trolling kids.

[Yerushalmi]

If I fell and scraped myself or burned myself, they said afterwords I would glance over at them. If they made a fuss I'd get concerned. If they didn't, I would grunt and keep going.

That's the case with every single child I've ever met - all my siblings, all my cousins, both my own children, and other people's kids as well. They cry to get attention far more often than they cry from actual pain, and if you learn not to fuss over it it will be much easier to know when there is actual pain.

[Jowy]

whoa man your signature is weird lookin'

[Yerushalmi]

whoa man your signature is weird lookin'

What are you talking about, my signature is AWESOME.

[Pike]

It's showing up as a bunch of gobbledygook code for me. It only seems to want to properly display itself to me sometimes

[The Man]

It's working fine for me in Chrome, but I haven't tried other browsers. I didn't even know vBulletin had well enough defined elements to do that. Pretty badass. I doubt it'd work in vB3.x though.

edit: Whether it works seems to depend on what style set you're using. It depends on some elements that are censored in NeoClassic and its child styles (specifically, the JavaScript "o<!-- -->nload" modifier), but it seems to work fine in other style sets. I didn't test them all.

@topic, I only remember stuff like Santa Claus and whatnot, but there might have been other stuff. Also religion, if you consider that to count (it's debatable).

[Dignified Pauper]

My grandfather used to tell me that Thunder was just a giant dropping a sack of potatoes into the clouds. I never believed him, but I'd chuckle at his anecdotes. He had all sorts of strange short tall-tales like that.

[Tigmafuzz]

My grandfather used to tell me that Thunder was just a giant dropping a sack of potatoes into the clouds. I never believed him, but I'd chuckle at his anecdotes. He had all sorts of strange short tall-tales like that.

I thought it was the gods bowling.

[Raistlin]

My mom told me she forgot when she and my dad got married. Did not figure out she was lying until I was 24 and found photos of their wedding where you could see she was very pregnant.

... xD

You were a surprisingly credulous youth, Shluppers. Didn't you also believe in Santa well into double-digits?

My parents did the usual Santa/tooth fairy thing, though I stopped believing in them after I was about 4 or 5. I can't think of any other "lies."

I believed in Santa until I was 8. Mostly because I wanted to. I still remember the bitch who told me Santa wasn't real; I was like "You had to go there, you whore." Something like that.

I actually said that just to try to provoke you to give your actual age, since you refused in a thread I made about Rye's gullibility many years ago, making fun of her for being 9 when she found out about Santa. At least you didn't cry like she did.