• Top 10 Facial Hair of The Final Fantasy Series

    We call this "Prison Beard".
    Now I will be the first to admit that I'm not a huge fan of facial hair, but that doesn't mean that the Final Fantasy series doesn't have some characters with impressive beards and moustaches. I know some people will be excited, and EoFF even once had its own beard growing contest thanks to Shorty, which reached almost 1,000 posts. So, all of you beard fans, come join me in this epic quest to find the king of facial hair!

    10. Goltanna (Final Fantasy Tactics)

    Goltanna is a Duke in Final Fantasy Tactics. When the King Ondoria dies, it starts a war based on who will be his successor. For Goltanna to achieve power, the Princess Ovelia needs to be made queen, and his actions in game are all to achieve this end goal. He is represented by the black lion crest.

    Someone needs to go on a diet.

    Goltanna made the list for his impressive moustache. Itís longer than a lot of menís beards, without actually having a beard. It also looks smooth and soft and well groomed. At this point he must have had to actually lift his moustache in order to shave his beard and keep his style going. Unless he canít grow a beard, in which case the moustache might be overcompensating.

    That's an impressive moustache.

    9. Banon (Final Fantasy VI)

    Banon is a temporarily playable character in Final Fantasy VI. He is the head of the Returners, a secret rebel group opposing the evil empire.

    Banon made the list because of the pure amount of facial hair this man has. It's actually impressive. I don't even know where his hair ends and his beard begins. His moustache is also of a considerable size, which isn't surprising. His hair is messy and loose and if you combine that with the somewhat crazy/angry look in his eyes, he could easily pass for a crazy homeless man.

    Not a man I want to meet alone in a dark alley.

    8. Basch (Final Fantasy XII)

    Basch is a playable character in Final Fantasy XII. He is first met in a dungeon, where he was held captive after being framed for the murder of the King Raminas, an event which led to the downfall of Dalmasca.

    Basch has two instances of facial hair. When you first meet him in the dungeon, his hair is long and his beard is also long and scraggly. After he escapes and trims up, his blonde hair becomes much cleaner and neater. He shaves the moustache and keeps a thin beard that ties into his sideburns and hair. It fits in with his overall look of looking kind of dirty, but not too dirty. Just how I like it .

    The scar ties it all together.

    7. Galuf (Final Fantasy V)

    Galuf is a playable character in Final Fantasy V. He is also an old man who has amnesia. He is a great warrior with an even greater sense of humor, and an overall likable guy.

    "I'm old."

    Galuf's facial hair is all moustache. It is a massive white moustache that says ďhere I am, Galuf's upper lip shall never be cold again.Ē His in game sprite looks to have brown facial hair and beard, which is triangular and also impressive in size, while his artwork usually shows him as having white hair. Either way he has an abundance of it which he could probably shave off and sell as a toupee.

    That's all 'stash.

    6. Barret (Final Fantasy VII)

    Barret is a playable character in Final Fantasy VII. He is the leader of the anti-Shinra group, AVALANCHE. He swears, but has a heart of gold. His arm got shot off so he did what any reasonable man in his position would do and replaced it with a gun arm. He also looks after his friends daughter, Marlene, and cares for her deeply.

    Barret's facial hair is well-trimmed and stylish. It looks like he combs it every morning. He probably uses his scissor arm to keep it at the desired length. It's actually quite flattering to his overall square face and helps tie his whole look together. His moustache blends in quite well. His beard hair might actually be longer than the hair on his head, which isn't necessarily saying much. He has the perfect blend of macho and sophistication.

    "What are you looking at?"
    "YOUR FACE!"

    5. Tellah (Final Fantasy IV)

    Tellah is a somewhat crazy old men who yells at Spoony Bards. Also, being an old man, he has some trouble remembering his spells when you play as him towards the beginning of Final Fantasy VI. He has a short temper, but a sweet heart.

    Tellah's facial hair is of an impressive length. It's also quite wavy, and looks like it could be in a shampoo commercial, blowing in the wind. I imagine him in a field with horses, while someone tells me to spend $60 on their new wave-enhancing shampoo. And you know what? I just might. His pretty old man beard has the added bonus of complementing his weirdly creative hairdo.

    Is it just me, or does he look like
    he hangs out in a jazz club?

    4. Rude (Final Fantasy VII)

    Rude is a member of the Turks from Final Fantasy VII. He is a tall bald man who always wears sunglasses and carries around a spare in case his first pair breaks. He doesn't talk much, but we do know he has a crush on Tifa, one of the main characters from Final Fantasy VII.

    Rude sports a stylish goatee to match his suit and sunglasses. It is thin, but still prominent. In fact, I couldn't imagine Rude without a goatee. He'd just be some bald guy who's trying too hard to look cool. But with the goatee, he is cool. I bet he strokes it thoughtfully as he ponders the meaning of life and the secrets of the universe. His facial hair is actually quite alluring, sensual even. Who needs words when you have a goatee?

    He needs the goatee to offset the dozens of earrings.

    3. Cid Pollendina (Final Fantasy IV)

    Cid is a playable character in Final Fantasy IV. He is a master airship builder and he designed the airships for the game's strongest air force. He's blunt and open, but also caring and kind. So basically like a lot of Cids in the series.

    Cid has some massive facial hair. It isn't just long, it's big and poofy! He gets additional points for beard variety. You can find it to be a purpleish color, brown, and even white. Collect them all! It also ties into his look of creepy scary looking guy with giant teeth and goggles hiding his eyes. He also hides the top of his head under his hat. Maybe that's where he stores the secret to his beard changing powers.

    He has many places to hide his secrets.

    2. Red XIII (Final Fantasy VII)

    Red XIII is a playable character from Final Fantasy VII (guess which game won the facial hair contest). He is a lion/wolf thing that can talk and is actually pretty awesome. He is apparently said to be the last of his kind, and although is a teenager as far as his species is concerned, he is wise and brave beyond his years.

    Red XIII has a lot of facial hair. It's actually all over his face. It's everywhere. It's a beautiful red/orange color and he even has some tufts that come down slightly from his chin, making it look kind of like a human beard. His facial hair (and all of his hair) is a large part of his look, and I can only imagine what he would look like without it (hint: It probably isn't good).

    I'd like to change my ideal pet answer.

    1. Cid Fabool (Final Fantasy IX)

    Cid is the Regent of Lindblum and a designer of airships. He goes through a few transformations in game, from oglop (an insect thing) to a frog and back to a human. He is very involved with his people and does a good job of ruling his kingdom. He's a pretty good guy, except for that time he cheated on his wife.

    Imagine seeing this in your house.

    Cid gets a few props for his facial hair. He has an almost boomerang -shaped moustache that actually extends past his ears. That's impressive. As I said in the previous paragraph, he also spends a good chunk of the game as either an oglop or a frog and he keeps the massive facial hair. It is so renowned that when Garnet arrives and sees an insect instead of Cid, she stops and notices the moustache and actually identifies him because of it. Cid is number one on this list because his beard isn't just stylish, it's pure awesome. It stays intact through transformations when even his regular hair doesn't, and he could probably throw it at enemies and have it return to his upper lip like the moustache boomerang that it secretly is. Bonus points if he doesn't have to gel it.

    It actually goes past his ears.

    That's my list for the top 10 most impressive facial hair in the series. Who's got the best facial hair in your opinion? Who do you think should have been included in this list?
    This article was originally published in forum thread: Top 10 Facial Hair of The Final Fantasy Series started by shion View original post
    Comments 19 Comments
    1. Denmark's Avatar
      Denmark -
      notable omission: Cid from FF3 (NES):
    1. Freya's Avatar
      Freya -
      notable admission: snow's cruddy scruff

      but it's cruddy so whatever ahaha
    1. Formalhaut's Avatar
      Formalhaut -
      Besides the odd few grammatical errors in there, I loved the overall flair of it. I love that characteristic Shion humour, always making sure to inject some jibes to the entrants.

      I loved it. Keep up the amazing work Shion and you will be a editor one day!

      Quote Originally Posted by shion View Post
      Attachment 44703
      We call this "Prison Beard".

      Funniest part of the article for me.
    1. Shorty's Avatar
      Shorty -
    1. Elpizo's Avatar
      Elpizo -
      I never noticed until now how much Cid Fabool's moustache resembles Whitebeard's from One Piece.
    1. sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
      sharkythesharkdogg -
      I love me some facial hair, but protest the omission of Kimahri.
    1. maybee's Avatar
      maybee -
      Best top 10 Final Fantasy thingy ever <3

      And yush for FFIX Cid being no 1 !

      Quote Originally Posted by Shorty View Post
    1. Loony BoB's Avatar
      Loony BoB -
      Cid Fabool is alright but I don't dig it. I love Basch/Barret/Galuf/Red XIII/Rude's work. The best (excepting Red XIII here) is probably Basch.
    1. DMKA's Avatar
      DMKA -
    1. Raistlin's Avatar
      Raistlin -
      Eh, I'm iffy about Red XIII's inclusion, but it's hard to argue with the rest. Rude definitely does the most with the least.
    1. Jiro's Avatar
      Jiro -
      Banon is one scruffy mothersmurfer. He is basically a lion, man.
    1. NeoCracker's Avatar
      NeoCracker -
      Somehow you miss the mightiest beard of all.

      Fusoya - The Final Fantasy Wiki has more Final Fantasy information than Cid could research
    1. Skyblade's Avatar
      Skyblade -
      Quote Originally Posted by NeoCracker View Post
      I see your Fusoya and I raise you a Ramuh.
    1. Pumpkin's Avatar
      Pumpkin -
      Sharky mentioned Ramuh and Kimahri and I sadfaced because I would have liked to have added them.

      Top 100 facial hair :P
    1. Jinx's Avatar
      Jinx -
      Kimahri has facial hair?
    1. Pumpkin's Avatar
      Pumpkin -
    1. Jinx's Avatar
      Jinx -
      Oh, hey. I never even noticed that...
    1. sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
      sharkythesharkdogg -
      Ramuh's hair does cool things with lightning. There's lots a great facial hair all over FF.
    1. LadyJuxtaposition's Avatar
      LadyJuxtaposition -
      What about Jecht from FFX?! He sports a manly facial hair and knows how to work it! I'm surprised he is not on your list! What the smurf?! :0
      Anyway, great article. Great to see many Cids with facial hair. Speaking of which, what about Cid Highwind from FFVII? He has facial hair too!
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