• Sabin's Suplex Station

    Sabin's Suplex Station

    Do you even suplex trains, bro? The answer to that questions is probably "no". Let's face it, none of us are quite as badass as Sabin, now are we? But fear not my pretties, for soon you'll be suplexing ghost trains that lead people into the afterlife like no one's business. Just follow these totally legit steps* and you'll be well on your way.

    *Do not follow these steps.

    Step 1: Gain Some Muscle

    The first thing you're going to need to do is to discard those sissy arms. No one can suplex trains with sissy arms. So get to the gym and get to pumpkin that iron! And steel! Pump some titanium while you're at it! Start by lifting smaller things, like 5 lbs weights, a bag of potatoes, or a container of steroids before you take them all. Then move up and get bigger. Bench press the bench. Lift the table at dinner. Lift your car to work. Get it, you're giving your car a lift? Haha, I am quite funny. Just remember A. B. L.: Always Be Lifting.

    Step 2: Grow Your Hair Out

    Not too long, but you do want to be able to rock a ponytail. A short one. Not like, a hippy ponytail. Hippy's can't suplex anything, so keep that in mind. Take a page from Samson: Your hair is your power. With it, you can fight lions and tigers and bears (oh my), so keep it nice and groomed. And stay away from untrustworthy women.

    Step 3: Have a Family Feud

    So you're buffed up, you have a kick-ass ponytail. Where do you go from here? Well the next step is to find a martial arts master who has a son named Vargas. Become an excellent pupil to your master, making this Vargasquite jealous. One day, when he attacks your brother randomly, make sure you show up with some excellent button-pushing skills and beat that terrible jealous man in to the ground. Remember, violence is always the best way to solve problems.

    Step 4: Suplex a Train

    We're almost there. You've gained an unhealthy amount of muscle, grew your hair out, beat up a man. These are the steps to becoming one with the suplex. All that's left to do is enter a creepy and eerie forest with a train that guides people to the afterlife. Next, for some reason, board the train. Then realize you're stuck on the train with a bunch of ghosts, although some of them are surprisingly nice. Like that Jim. Hi, Jim! So now it's time for you to escape, which will involve running away from this train (I hope you built up your stamina) with an olde English fellow and maybe an assassin. When the train is least expecting it...


    Suplex that thing in to the ground!

    And that, my friends, is how you too can become a badass train suplexer.
    This article was originally published in forum thread: Sabin's Suplex Station started by Pumpkin View original post
    Comments 16 Comments
    1. Pike's Avatar
      Pike -
      Fun fact: In World of Warcraft there's a dungeon called Grimrail Depot which takes place entirely on a train. Anyways if you get the top time on it for your server you get the title "the Grimrail Suplexer" which shows up after your name
    1. sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
      sharkythesharkdogg -
      I want A.B.L. on my headstone.

    1. Elpizo's Avatar
      Elpizo -
      If they ever add Doomtrain in FF XIV, I hope they do it in a Hildibrand quest just so that Godbert Manderville can Suplex it. <.<
    1. Freya's Avatar
      Freya -
      I don't think I can ever get good enough muscles to suplex a train
    1. Lazerface's Avatar
      Lazerface -
      Bruh. I could suplex an airplane.
    1. Sephex's Avatar
      Sephex -
      I keep reading this title too fast and keep seeing my name in it. I just want to clarify in case anyone is confused that I do not have a station related to trains of any kind.
    1. NeoCracker's Avatar
      NeoCracker -
      Quote Originally Posted by Pike View Post
      Fun fact: In World of Warcraft there's a dungeon called Grimrail Depot which takes place entirely on a train. Anyways if you get the top time on it for your server you get the title "the Grimrail Suplexer" which shows up after your name
      I have an entirely new respect for the Nerd Cred of that games makers.
    1. Ayen's Avatar
      Ayen -
      Well... I have step two down.
    1. maybee's Avatar
      maybee -
      This is one of my most favorite threads on this forum.
    1. FFNut's Avatar
      FFNut -
      I went to the rail yard and tried to supple A caboose... Not good results.
    1. krissy's Avatar
      krissy -
    1. Mirage's Avatar
      Mirage -
      Attachment 66356
    1. Ayen's Avatar
      Ayen -
      Quote Originally Posted by Mirage View Post
      I don't wish to alarm anyone, but I think DC might have plagiarized this cover for their Action Comics cover.
    1. Mirage's Avatar
      Mirage -
      Or the other way around.
    1. Midgar Mist's Avatar
      Midgar Mist -
      Ive always thought Sabin was a nice name
    1. Bubba's Avatar
      Bubba -
      Did you know that Sabin's Suplex Station is an anagram of...

      Sabin's sex lust patio.FINE! There is an 'N' leftover... WHOOPIE DOOOOO!!!
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